Cheek Freaks

I don't think I've reviewed a Bryan Xin movie in months. He's been holed up in a cave somewhere I think, plotting his return (Don't call it a comeback, yo.) to porn. Apparently he's been spending his days reading comic books and obsessing over big asses. This initial release from Pulse Pictures has a unique and really cool look. The case design is very cool, but I'm guessing that most of you care more about what's on the DVD. (But consider that a note for the store owners out there. This is a cool box that will really catch the eye of a lot of customers.) Following the cover style, the opening title sequence is really cool with a comic book feel. There will be no super heroes here though, just some super asses. (Holy hack writers Rog, that one was really bad.) As for the movie, it looks to be vintage Bryan Xin. (Vintage? What, has he been directing since the 40's?) It's a big butt movie with some of porn's most bodacious backsides.

What better way to start an ass movie than with the best big ass in the business. Flower Tucci wiggles her cheeks into the shot. Her frayed denim skirt can't cover those things and with just a little lifting, she can shake them for our viewing pleasure. Look very carefully and you will notice the absence of fishnets covering her butt. That alone qualifies this scene as original. The tease footage is nicely shot with Flower bent over and pulling her panties into her pussy to give us a great view. Sliding a few fingers into her pussy, she gets the juices flowing. Rolling over, she sticks that big ass out for us to see while she uses a liquid-filled toy between her cheeks. Van Damage is the guy who comes in to see if she likes the real thing as much as a dildo. Since she is already partially warmed up Flower goes to work getting Van up to speed. He slips his cock deep into her mouth and she takes it with ease. Sticking with the theme, her ass gets stuffed with a plug as she returns to work on Van's rod. He tugs on it gently to make sure it's in place as she straddles his cock and starts riding hard. He doesn't wait too long to pop out the plug and ram his dick right up into her butt. Flower is always an energetic anal performer, but she really shines when Van rolls her onto her back. With her legs high in the air she takes it deep in the butt and isn't afraid to let us know just how much she loves it. His pounding gets her squirting again and Van sticks his face right into the stream to taste it. Capping off a great opening scene, Flower takes his load on her face and mouth. She smiles for us as she eats his seed, probably knowing that she has just given us one hell of a great stroke scene.

Sydney Capri is another girl with tiny tits and a great big ass that just can't be contained by ordinary clothing. (Consider her a super heroine with buns far beyond those or mortal women.) She wiggles those things under a short skirt as she climbs a spiral staircase. When she turns around Sydney goes for the extreme camel toe action, pulling her panties up between her lower lips and stretching them out. Eventually a glass toy finds its way between her pussy lips and deep into her waiting hole. Since this is an ass movie, she bends over one more time and gives the rolling cheeks move. Christian is the guy who has to try and tame those super buns and he is off to a good start when he gives her a nice stiff prick to suck on. This blowjob does feel a bit short and we could have used some more straight-on footage of those full lips devouring meat, but Christian has other places for his tool. Sydney gets into reverse cowgirl and slides down to the root. This may not be cheek footage, but it's great looking porn. The skin tone contrast is great and this girl has a really nice looking pussy. To the delight of the core audience, Christian turns her over and goes to work on that great big ass. Anal and butt fans will be quite pleased by the cowgirl footage. Sydney shakes her ass as she rides Christian's cock, giving us some great footage before he pulls out and douses her with cream. As an added bonus Sydney finger-feeds some of the load to herself as we fade out.

Mia Bangg is a girl with a perfect porn name and even sounds like a comic book hero, or maybe a villain. I love this girl's ass, but I always worry when I see her in a scene. She seems to be one of those girls who think that she needs to gag and quack on every three-inch prick she sucks. It isn't sexy and it has soured me on an otherwise hot girl. Nothing to worry about yet though. Xin has her shake her cheeks in some tease footage that would make Buttman himself stand up and cheer. Mia's got back and the girl knows how to use it. (Her super power? us with the jiggling booty.) She finishes with the ass clapping and works a toy back there. The great butt footage continues as she shakes her tush around showing off the shiny butt plug. Eventually she puts her shorts back on and joins Sascha on the couch. His pants are off and faster than a moderately skilled writer can type, "I hope she doesn't", Mia is already gagging on dick and killing perfectly good wood. Rather than harp on this through a nicely shot, but gag-educing blowjob I will just state for the record that we must all band together. We must find the evil-doer who is telling young porn starlets that they must do this totally un-erotic and pointless shit. We must find him, string him up and beat him to a bloody pulp with Lexington Steele dongs. Such an enemy of the people must not live my friends. It is our civic duty to root out such villainy. Once the dick is out of her mouth, then things get right back on track. Mia is vocal, aggressive and looks really good even when her ass isn't the focus of the shot. When Sascha goes for the A, Mia arches her back and sticks out that fine butt for all to see. The doggy is the best footage here, but butt lovers are going to have a good time watching those meaty cheeks get worked as she grinds her hips. As much as I hated the blowjob, Mia is a good anal performer with great cheeks and the overall scene is quite hot. Until she starts quacking again at the end of course.

Goldie Coxxx has the braided pigtails and denim skirt thing going for her during her tease footage. She also has quite a set of buns on her. I like the toy play and Xin has her oil up her backside for a bit of variety. Goldie uses her fingertip to get her ass opened up. There is also some spanking during her tease. Mixing things up, Xin keeps the camera on her ass she bends over Sledge Hammer's lap and gags on his dick. (Still annoying, but not quite as bad as it was during Mia's scene.) The camera moves around to her face and we get some great eye contact. When she isn't trying to take way more than she can handle, Goldie is very good with her mouth. Her super power might be the ability to look adorably innocent while sucking on a huge black cock. Sledge gets her into position and splits that hot pussy. The ass shots are still great here, but the real highlight is the way her tight hole stretches on his hard strokes. I love her energy and the body is a fantastic bonus at this point. Sledge doesn't hold back, slamming into Goldie like he is trying to break her in half. He blasts her face with a good sized load and then Goldie rolls over, rubbing it right onto her freshly fucked backside.

Courtney Cummz is the last girl in the movie. We could say that she is bringing up the rear, but that would just be too hackey. This hot chick is known for a lot more than just her great cheeks, but they are on display as her scene opens. She does some camel toe stuff before hanging her ass over the edge of a barstool and shoving a toy up her butt. Kurt Lockwood greets the little cutie with some spanking and peels her panties off of her lovely bod. She gives him a blowjob, or rather tries to give him a blowjob. Kurt gets aggressive and holds her hands over her head while he pumps his dick into her mouth. He likes it a lot when she sticks her finger in his ass. (Maybe he is the super hero in this scene and that is his weakness.) The action picks up when he lifts her off the ground and does some standing reverse mish. (Or is that standing reverse cowgirl?) Courtney mixes in a little foot play before she goes right back after Kurt's happy spot. He loves having it licked, but elects to be the giver of anal this time around. Kurt dishes it out well, spanking Courtney's ass as he fucks it hard. She may not have the big booty that some of the other girls have, but she sure takes it in the ass well. If hot anal action is what you crave, then this girl delivers a full plate.

We get a bonus fuck from Kami Andrews. She shakes that ass for a bit, works it over with a toy (Really great stuff here) and then takes on Joel Lawrence and Sledge Hammer. The scene is a little rougher around the edges than the others, Kami takes two huge dicks like few can. This isn't really my kind of scene, but for anyone who likes these, Kami is the queen. (Plus the dirty talk is fucking awesome. What a mouth on this girl.)

The BTS starts out with an interview between Xin and some writer of questionable reputation. (Nice shades butthead.) The actual BTS stuff features Kami Andrews eating fries, plenty of booty footage, chicks in the shower, Kami bagging on male talent and hooker mentality, Flower showing off her tushy and finally Kami peeing in public.

Since this is the first release from Pulse Pictures, it would be safe to say that they are off to a great start. This is a perfect movie for people who like big asses and want to see them displayed well and fucked hard in the same movie. (I'm wondering if perhaps Xin may have violated some law though. He shot a big ass movie without Katja Kassin.) The cheeks in question are certainly a super collection. I like that the girls are all dressed in clothes that don't look like they have been used in every flick produced this year. The tease footage also varies from scene to scene. So many movies these days follow the same formula and you can just about set your watch by what you will see and when. We get a little bit of everything here and that helps to keep it fresh. Other than some of the usual gagging and such, the sex is really good. Flower does her usual great job and Sydney Capri uses those rolling ass cheeks to make her mark. A must-see for anyone who loves Booty "Cheek Freaks" is Bryan Xin's most complete work to date. It combines the great tease he has always given us with sex scenes that are long enough to appreciate, but not so long that they bore us. It's one of the strongest all-sex movies of the year so far. That's what I'd call a successful debut.