Ice-T's Pimpin 101

The attempt to meld the rap/hip-hop world with the porn world continues with Ice T's Pimpin 101, a title that immediately demands comparison with the Snoop Dogg titles from Hustler. Neither as flashy or as well-shot as Snoop's two videos, Pimpin 101 does have one thing going for it: Ice-T is a much more entertaining host than Snoop Dogg could ever hope to be.

Ice-T, of course, doesn't get involved in any of the sex in this video, but what he does do is introduce us to each of the six scenes, which are all little lessons on the different kinds of "hos" men will encounter in their lives.

First up is "The Track Ho", which would be your typical streetwalker hooker. Ice points out that the best ones don't hang around on the street corners very long - because the best ones are already in a room somewhere with their "john" for the evening. So the lesson here, boys and girls, is that if you see one hanging around the corner for any length of time, chances are she's not worth your money. Ryan Conner stars in this scene, as Rafe and Marty Romano pick her up in the back of their limo and have their way with her before throwing her back to the curb (literally!) at the end of the scene. What viewers will immediately notice as the first sex scene in this title begins is that the action isn't shot very well. The angles chosen by the director are poor, and the cameraman even misses Marty's cumshot entirely, leaving us only to see the remnants of cum on her body (we do get to see Rafe's climax).

Scene two brings us "The Carpet Ho". This is the kind of woman who you'll (as opposed to me!) meet at a club who will get all dressed up, but is looking to score the richest man in the room. As Ice points out, this woman isn't worried about how good you look, she's worried about how much paper (meaning money) you have. Obsession (I believe) is the girl in this scene, and she teams up with Mr. Marcus. Once again, the sex isn't very well shot, and the coupling here is surprisingly short.

Next up is "The Stripper Ho" and I really liked the diatribe that Ice went into about strippers, whom he considers prostitutes - at least the ones that give lap dances for money. If they are entertainers, claims Ice, they would stay on the stage and have no physical contact with patrons. As he points out, even hookers don't like to hug, kiss and grind up against their "johns". For this segment, Sharon Wild pairs with Rafe, and this segment is better shot than the previous two, although it still lacks the look of a professionally shot porn scene. But at least we get a good view of the cumshot, as Rafe gives Sharon a nice facial.

Different than "The Track Ho", "The Call Girl Ho" is the kind of higher-class prostitute that you'll find in the Yellow Pages under "Escort". Ice gives a nice lesson here on the "dos" and "don'ts" of bringing a call girl up to your hotel room, as Guy DiSilva rents the services of August and Cherie. After some lesbian action in the shower, the two girls return to Guy's bed for an okay threesome, that kind of lapsed from reality when I noticed that not only didn't Guy seem to be wearing a condom, but he gave Cherie anal without one as well (something a high-class call girl would never, ever allow...at least, that's what they tell me!).

"The Wife Ho" had the potential to be one of the best scenes in this film, but actually turns out to be one of the most disappointing. I loved how this segment began with Ice-T telling the viewer that we may think she's not a "ho", but that this will be the most expensive "ho" you've ever had in your life! I believe the two actors here are Celine and Mark Anderson, but not being familiar with either of them, I cannot be sure. Celine is still in her wedding dress, so you can understand why this coupling showed a lot of promise. Sadly, however, after some blowjob action and return oral from Mark, Celine claims that she is on her period, and the segment ends abruptly. Damn! I suppose this might mirror real life, but I really wanted to see this girl in action!

The last scene brings us "The Porn Ho", which results in an all-out orgy between most of the actors we've seen in previous scenes, including August, Cherie, Ryan Connor, Sharon Wild, Mr. Marcus, Rafe and others. After the scene there is what the title refers to as a "Ice-T Bonus Video", which is merely Ice lip-synching a song that is playing during a party...I'm not sure if it's his own song or someone else's, but this is obviously just extra footage shot from a party, rather than something that was planned for this title.

As for the video and audio quality of the DVD, it's pretty good - although I had a few instances of pixilation in the latter half of the movie, but that could be attributed to a single bad DVD, rather than a problem with the entire pressing of them. The bonus features are fairly nice, and include a slide show; a behind the scenes segment; party footage; bloopers; website access; and a "Free Song" which is the only complete song (other than Ice-T's lip-synch version) that you can hear uninterrupted on this disc...it also happens to be the best song on this DVD, so enjoy! The other original tracks on this title are all background music during the scenes, rather than complete versions separate from the action.

So the best part of Pimpin 101 is Ice-T himself, and the worst part is the direction of the sex scenes, most of which are poorly shot. Weighing all the factors together, I wouldn't rate this title as high as the Snoop Dogg videos, but because of the bonus material and Ice-T's entertaining personality, this one is still worth checking out.

Dr. Chauntelle does not use a rating system. Five stars is a default setting only.

No, it's not a typo... Pimpin' 101 was really and truly released in 2003* by the now-defunct Fatt Entertainment. It's hardcore, it's a little bit dated, and it's hosted by none other than Tracy "Ice-T" Morrow.

Yes - as in the Body Count, O.G. Original Gangster, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1985), Law & Order, and Ice Loves CoCo (currently) Ice-T.

You see, my '90s-era Lollapalooza-smitten adolescence made me obliquely aware of Body Count; and my current addiction to twitter (follow me at @PVVTweet!!) let me know that Ice-T and CoCo are currently reality show celebronalities. So when, by what can only be described as the luck of the gods, Pimpin' 101 landed in my lap recently... well, I just had to investigate.

Somehow Fatt Entertainment, early 2000s-era purveyors of digital adult magazines and porn with a hip hop edge, got Ice-T involved with this project. The premise is rather simple: Ice...

(I can call him "Ice," right? Calling him "Ice-T" over and over feels like I'm addressing him by his full name repeatedly... and we're old friends, you know?)

The premise is rather simple: Ice hosts a series of expository vignettes wherein he explains six different "types" of hos. Ice describes the characteristics of each ho (incidentally, ho'ing is defined as "having sex for money or profit" at the outset of the film) - the track ho, the carpet ho, the stripper ho, the call girl ho, the wife ho, and the porno ho. Each explanation is followed by a sex scene wherein we get to see each specific sort of ho in action.

Informative!! (??)

Now you may be wondering: "How does playing a detective on a long-standing NBC drama series qualify Ice to speak to these sorts of sex- and business-related characters, characteristics, and occupations?"

Well, as a mentee of Hawaii-area pimp Mac and a fan of Iceberg Slim, Ice seems to be more informed than most. (ok...)

So anyway, here are characterizations of each ho type according to Ice:
The Track Ho - this is your standard-issue street walking prostitute. In this instance, the "track" refers to the street, or public space.

The Carpet Ho - akin to the classic "gold digger," the carpet ho is looking for tricks with money - celebrities, athletes, wealthy flashy looking whomevers. If you look like you have money to spend, the track ho will seek you out!!

The Stripper Ho - contrary to their frequent characterization as entertainers, strippers are simply another sort of ho (according to Ice). In fact, Chris Rock be damned, stripper hos apparently have even greater intimate contact with tricks than any other sort of ho!! (I had no idea)

The Call Girl Ho - as the name implies, call girl hos are... call girls. These hos are for tricks too timid to buy ass off the street (track hos) and not flashy enough to be spotted by carpet hos.

The Wife Ho - described by Ice as the "most expensive piece of pussy ever," the wife ho turns the tables on her trick/husband by withholding sex!! This ho needs to be placated with plenty of pay up front in order to ensure she is headache-free come bedtime.

The Porno Ho - similar to wife hos, porno hos also surprise their tricks. You see, although porno hos know how to make freaky sex look awesome on camera, they are generally rather reserved in person. So they're not going to have wild sex with you (off camera).

According to Ice, this is because porno hos have generally been coerced into sex performance; which consequently, in Ice's assessment, implies that their survival-based performance freakiness is necessarily juxtaposed with real life shell-shocked frigidity. Hmmm...

According to RottenTomatoes.com, Ice-T provides "fascinating insight into the life of a pimp;" but Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons of SomethingAwful.com is not as impressed... and neither was I.

As I was taken through what can only be described as a far too general, overly simplistic, and somewhat obnoxious series of characterizations of women sex workers in various occupations, I couldn't help but wonder: "Who the heck does Ice think he is?!!" But given that Ice is, in fact, a professional entertainer, maybe he was just acting like a pimp, carrying out writer/director Tony Diablo's creative direction? Who knows.

Pimpin' 101 also included an uncredited appearance by Ice-T's current wife/then girlfriend, Nicole "CoCo Marie" Austin. CoCo's presence in the film made this whole mess that much more "interesting" (read: cringe-worthy).

In the very beginning of the film, the far-less-orange-than-she-currently-tends-to-be CoCo is sitting sweetly on Ice's lap wearing a bikini (well, at least a bikini top). In an effort to illustrate what it is that sets him apart from other men, Ice pulls down one side of her top and licks her nipple. She just sorta sits there. Ummm... ok.

And at the end of the film, Ice "performs" ( ass lip synching to and occasional singing over a recording of what I assume to be one of his own songs) into a camera while CoCo sits on a couch near/behind him. It's an interesting song that seems to convey that CoCo has brought him to a crossroads in life ? continue being a pimp (of sorts?) or begin funding a wife ho of his very own. Ice asserts, via song, that he has most certainly not yet decided on the latter... but beneath his manufactured bravado, he seems a little wistful/hopeful about the fact that he's met someone who's introduced such a possibility.

Barf.

(or not... I mean, who am I to judge? he's a sweet old man... err... gangster who seems sincere in his own right... right?)

After Ice has finished his exposition on hos and before his "bonus scene[/performance]," he makes this interesting point: "All of us are hos in one way or another, but very few will ever get a chance to truly pimp."

What do you think?

Recommended for: those who want to be amused and/or depressed? CoCo fans who want to see this mama in her early days? Those who want to learn a little about pimpin' and hos/sex workers...

...but if you are looking for the last option (re learning about sex workers), I must intercede!! In my professional and sociological doctor opinion, this selection of books provides more nuanced insight into some sex work occupations:

Stripped: Inside the Lives of Exotic Dancers (2006) by Bernadette Barton

Brothel: Mustang Ranch and Its Women (2002) by Alexa Albert

Sex For Sale: Prostitution, Pornography, and the Sex Industry (2009) by Ronald Weitzer

(these are just a few - there are plenty more!!)

So so the story goes...

It's amazing that Ice-T is able to play both sides of the entertainment field, as does Snoop Dogg. In this porn/hip hop collaboration. Ice-T intros each scene with explanations on what pimping and ho-ing is, then scrams before the actual sex gets kicked off. At least here, they try to make it appear that he's just off camera during the acts.
The sex is "alright" nothing spectacular. The entertainment is in just seeing the two worlds blend. The Behind the Scenes and the "after party" segments, to me, reinforce the suspicion that the star(s) rarely get direct contact with the pornabees... the girls cavort among themselves at the pool. Ironically, the dialogue of this particular tape points out a lot of the unglamourous truths about sex for pay, including porn, and the women performing seem immune to it applying to them personally. All in a day's work.

Feel as compelled as I was to watch this, so you'll know how it compares to Liquid City (Mystikal) Snoop Dogg's material, Sex and The Studio's twin volumes, and the glossiest treatment to date, Groupie Love (G-Unit).

Actor Ice T gives six up-close and lessons on the different forms of prostitutes available for purchase. And even if you know nothing about rap music, you can still enjoy this movie. The screenplay is entertaining and Ice T is a great host.