Any Port In A Storm

Sailing directly to the point - Any Port in a Storm has absolutely nothing to do with oceans, ships, weather conditions nor exotic locations. The title, applicable to no particular theme within this DVD, is simply a half-hearted attempt to present a witty metaphor for "stormy sex and the consequential orifices which become filled." Bearing that in mind, it's of no surprise this production also embodies a handful of deceptive elements, which I'll remark throughout this review.

First, what does Any Port in a Storm offer viewers? Though the marketing strategy presents the flick as "film", really it's nothing more than textbook wall-to-wall. Fourteen separate, and completely unrelated, scenarios serve as representatives of various sexual tastes. Examples of included themes; oral, anal, lesbian, threesomes, toy - use and mini orgies. Vivid Raw covered most of the sexual spectrum, indeed. Again, however, this is not a storyline-driven, plot intensive, glossy Vivid production, contrary to how the boxcover presents it. In actuality, all fourteen chapters consist of footage taken from numerous other Vivid titles. So, what the viewer gets is a series of all -sex scenes, already in progress, culled from titles spanning dates from mid-90's to semi-current. The plus side of this offering, though, is most certainly the variety of performers showcased. With so many chapters (and of course it's from Vivid), viewers are bound to happen upon some hottie of past or present "superstar status". The likes of Janine, Channone, T.T. Boy, Dyanna Lauren, Tiffany Million and Julian, are just a few of the talented stars making appearances. So, in theory, this DVD has a lot going for it. That is, however, if you completely disregard the inconsistencies of marketing on Vivid's part.

Lovette, the very large-busted blonde, has a threefold role. First, Vivid placed her on the cover, targeting especially her fans. Secondly, if you can imagine a set of anal beads, she serves as the nylon string in-between each coated ball. It's nothing more than Lovette writhing around erotically unconvincing, between chapters, as ultimately some form of segue. The third position she fills is an appearance in two chapters, where, I have to admit, she performs some admirably hot sequences. Another deceiving message sent to potential viewers come to mind, with regard to Lovette. Not only does she appear larger than life on the cover, the accompanying text describes her as more or less your guide on the sea of sexual excursions she and her pals embark upon. It's the way Vivid chose to write this text that irritates me. Without quoting the whole paragraph, I'll say it simply advertises Any Port in a Storm as an actual "film" type porno, with a plot utilizing Lovette as the leading lady. Not the case, though. This is definitely a wall-to-wall.

True to its claim, this DVD does fill the "interactive" quota with many extras including; bonus footage, motion chapter indexing, special blowjob breakdown options and all the typical Vivid bells and whistles. Also of noteworthy mention, the main content does give viewers variety in forms of ethnicity, sexual positions, and locations. The scenes aren't boring and they're not mundane, I just have a problem with wall-to-walls that try to cash in on footage already cashed-in upon. I prefer "new" material. Lovette's segue dances are, again, uninspiring, but her actual sex scenes are hot - she is convincing especially in anal positions.

Besides Lovette's scenes, several other stand out admirably. A three-girl lesbian locker room romp, starring Janine, definitely ranks up there. It stars Janine! Need I say more? Tiffany Million having her asshole ravaged with fervor by Sean Michaels is most certainly another winner. Not exactly being a big fan of her per se, I must give credit where it's due - Tiffany puts on one helluva sex show.

A final recap. Any Port in a Storm is wall-to-wall production consisting of fourteen unrelated sex scenarios. It is not a "feature", so do not be misguided. The cast index reads like a "who's who" of porn, though most stars appear in only one or two chapters. The sex is pleasantly varied and ranges from mild to hot, but, originally produced in 1997, of course the action dates back a while. Upon viewing the entire feature, I conclude this disc best serves viewers preferring "just the sex" parts of porn films, intertwined with the interactivity of choosing from large a number of scenarios.