Secretary's Day

Chances are, at least at one point in your life, you've shared some office space with a really hot-looking co-worker. And frankly, there's nothing sexier than a girl in a business outfit with glasses and heels...looking professional, but knowing that there's a sexual fireball ready to explode underneath. That makes Secretary's Day, directed by Zak Wylde and released by Smash Pictures, a very good idea for a fetish-themed title. Alas, several glitches and problems with the DVD turn this release turn this from a must-own into a must-rent DVD.

Let's get all of the problems out of the way first, so we can move on to the more appealing stuff. For starters, the production values here were obviously very low - with all the footage being shot on a hand-held camera in three or four different office spaces. That's not a bad thing - plenty of gonzo releases follow the same rules. What's bad is that the production crew obviously only relied on the camera's microphone, and only that microphone, meaning that the only time you can really hear what's going on is during the sex (when the camera is close to the talent) and you'll really need to crank up the speakers to hear what's happening beforehand during the dialogue bits. Ever hear of a boom mic, people?

While the picture is fairly sharp (presented in the full-frame format), I did notice several occasions of glitches on the transfer. These lasted only a second or two, but were visibly noticeable and enough for me to knock down my video rating one full point.

Finally, I have a complaint about the bonus features. While the 11 ½ minute behind the scenes is fun to watch, there's a second of the DVD that leads the viewer to believe that he/she will get to watch Cheating Housewives for free on the internet if they insert this disc into a DVD-ROM drive. Of course, once inserting the disc into my computer, I discovered that Smash actually wants to charge you $12.95 to watch the movie...which doesn't really cross the line into being deceptive, but is certainly a bit shady (why not just say this on the DVD before people take the time to load it up on their computers?).

Now for the good news. Zak Wylde has done a nice job in selecting the female talent for his movie. All five of the girls are brunettes, with not one blonde in sight. Additionally, each of the girls is dressed in business attire and wearing glasses. While all of the girls take their glasses off during at least some portion of the sex (which I feel was a mistake), I did appreciate the effort here to make all of the women look like office professionals.

The two best performances are by Tory Lane and Samantha Sin. Why, you ask? Because they both get double penetrated in their segments! Tory has the third scene on the DVD and is playing the daughter of the owner, who gets into a threesome with workers Steve Holmes (who has gone blonde and curly!) and Talon when the guys deliver some boxes to her office. Samantha rejects come-ons from both Mr. Pete and James Deen, only to tell them that she wants to take them both on at the same time.

The other scenes consist of an opening segment between Jordana James and Erik Everhard; a coupling between Alektra Blue and Pat Myne (that ends with her swallowing his load); and a pairing featuring Lindsay Meadows with Mark Wood in the waiting room for the office building (where Mark has been waiting most of the day to talk with the boss). Viewers will also get to see a blooper involving Lindsay over the end credits (and it's also in the BTS featurette).

With a little more quality control, Secretary's Day might have been one of the best office-themed porns out there. As it is now, it's simply a good rental, with a possible purchase if you're really turned on by the girls. No blame on the performers' end...they're all great. It's in the production and DVD transfer that Secretary's Day lets fans down.