Crescendo 2012

If there's one thing that's guaranteed going into any movie directed by David Stanley, it's that you're going to get something that is not quite the norm. Such is the case for his latest release, Crescendo 2012, the story of a pair of friends (played by Kirsten Price and Randy Spears) who believe that December 21, 2012 will mark the end of the world as we know it.

The December 21st date isn't something that Stanley (who also wrote the movie) conjured up for the purposes of his screenplay. It's actually based on the Mayan calendar, which ended on this future date (the calendar, by the way, started way back on August 11th, 3114). Exactly what happens on that day from an astronomical point of view is rather complex to put in this review (a good Google search will unveil more), but to put it succinctly, it's basically the day the Earth comes in perfect alignment with the "Galaxy's Equator," and becomes most susceptible to solar influences from our sun.

So what really happens on this date? Well the theories range from nothing at all to a total switch in the Earth's magnetic poles, which would - by the way - pretty much fry our electrical power grid worldwide. So best to watch Crescendo 2012 before then, just in case you're a procrastinator when it comes to your porn.

So what do Kristen and Randy's character think is going to happen? Well, they're not really sure...but they do want to party like it's 1999...err, make that 2012...beforehand. So they get some friends together for a while orgy, so they can have a little last-minute debauchery before the end of days. Of course, since they're not really sure that the world might end (and actually because we're in a Wicked movie), they still play it safe by using condoms.

Stanley's movie is pretty low budget...with all of the sex primarily happening in one room/area. Once again, the director brings his sense of surrealism into much of the plot, meaning the storyline isn't always comprehensible, but that doesn't mean it's not watchable.

In fact, it's actually the sex that brings down Crescendo 2012 to that of just an average adult feature. While everything that happens in between the sex is interesting (if not always understandable), the actual fornication is rather ho-hum in concept and execution. The movie's first scene is a blowjob-only segment between Kirsten and Randy that takes place before the partygoers arrive. Once the party gets started, the first sex is between Ariel X and Lily Paige, the latter of which is dressed up as Marilyn Monroe. The next two scenes are both multiple partner segments, starting with a threesome between dark-skinned Vanessa Monet and porn studs Eric Masterson and Chris Cannon. Then, after a private conversation in which Kirsten and Randy discuss their true feelings for one another, they return to the party for a mini-orgy in which Randy has fun with Jayna Oso and Jenavive Jolie; while Kirsten pairs up with her real-life partner, Barrett Blade.

With the party over and the world unchanged, Kirsten and Randy finally go one-on-one in Crescendo 2012's final scene. While the sex again is rather run-of-the-mill, there is a hilarious vignette during the action in which we see the two trying out various wild positions - including one where Kristen is seemingly giving it to Randy with a strap-on...don't worry though, it's just a staged position with no visible hardcore, so viewers who think it's "gay" for a girl to please a man in this way need not worry!

While the extras on this DVD at first appear to be the usual above-average sort from Wicked, I have to admit that I was a little let down by the content this time around. For starters, the bonus scene (which is from Just Like That) is a blowjob-only one between Kirsten and Barrett Blade that only lasts about two minutes. Furthermore, the behind the scenes featurette only runs 15 minutes (most Wicked releases BTS run 30 or more). While the disc also includes the standard slide shows, trailers, bios and promo materials we find on other Wicked DVDs, I still have to rate the total amount of extras as only "average". Thankfully, Wicked hasn't disappointed in the A/V department - like all of their feature movies these days, Crescendo 2012 has been shot using hi-def cameras, and is presented on standard DVD both anamoprhically enhanced and boasting a 5.1 Dolby soundtrack (with Spanish 2.0 also as an option).

While fans of both Kirsten Price and Director David Stanley will probably want to add this to their viewing list, both have done better work in the past...meaning you'll probably only want to watch the end of the world as a rental instead of adding it to your permanent collection.