Pick Up Lines #17

The grass is usually greener on the other side (unless your neighbor is a slob), and so are the videos when it comes to Pick Up Lines. Volume 17 isn't a bad effort, but it isn't anything to get excited over, either. What makes it more difficult to deal with is the fact that they preview the first 34 volumes in the series on the disc, and there are a dozen or so I'd be more than happy to pick up.

However, this isn't one of them.

17 starts off with Toni James and Maya running through a house, landing on a couch in the living room for a short lesbian tryst. After the quick lick-o-rama, they go outside and grab Colt Steele, lounging outside for some reason. All three return to the couch "to watch Colt's hot new copy of Pick Up Lines." Really? Did he get a better one? Was it #18?

Shawnee and Steve Drake get things rolling in an orange Mustang, Steve surely glad he's in a residential area and doesn't have to concentrate too much while Shawnee gives him a bit of road head. Shawnee, as with most of the girls on this disc, didn't do much of anything for me. I don't know what it was, but she just didn't deliver the goods.

The Mustang rolls to a stop, and they get on the hood for the sex session. Facial for the pop shot, and she didn't look too disgusted by it, which is a bonus for this. It's hard to watch a video with facials if the women in it are appalled by the sperm bath.

Margo Stevens and Peter North are up for (or down on) each other in a bathroom. There's some extended, well shot oral, but Margo is more of a tipsucker/handjobber than anything. Maybe that's a compliment to North, but it wasn't that impressive. They tried a few odd positions, but things didn't get better until they went for some more normal fucking, with plenty of nice shots. Margo takes a good deal of the load in her mouth and the end, and the scene fades out with mixed feelings. I still don't know if it was good or not.

Crystal, Dee, Brooke, and Bridgette all have scenes, but they're mostly mediocre. I was particularly disappointed with Dee's scene, billed as an "introduction". I'm mostly familiar with her from The Five Sins, where she helped Chloe suck on a guy for a few minutes, then left the room when the fucking started. It didn't make much difference that she stayed this time.

So Toni, Maya, and Steele survive the feature, ready to get it on in the end, and... hey! Where'd the lights go?! There's a very bad fade as things get going, the scene getting dark that you can't see what they're doing. The close up shots don't suffer from this same problem, but it's distracting enough. The sex is decent enough, but doesn't live up to Odyssey's billing of "Maya, Toni and Colt are as hot as asphalt on a summer day, and a nasty three-way fuck and suck-fest leaves all three sticky and satisfied." Nice that someone was satisfied.

The video quality wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst I've seen. There's the fading in the last scene and many shaky angles. Audio is generally okay, with the music being both a blessing and a curse. During the previews for other Pick Up Lines volumes, I almost felt bad...it was some type of "Pure Moods" kind of music, something that doesn't go with porn at all. Good for relaxation, not erections.

The extras were middle of the road, with the previews generally hotter than the feature. There's a bio on each star, the scene selector (which can put things out of order from the feature), and some web site stuff. Not spectacular, but not bare-bones.

Pick Up Lines is not a bad series, from what I can see of the other titles in brief glimpses. I just hope some day I pick up the right one. This wasn't it.