I've Never Done That Before 4

I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE #4, from Wildlife Productions, features seven extremely unappealing young ladies in a hastily produced piece of disposable porn. Although it seems wrong to bash these girls on the basis of their appearance, as a consumer, I at least expect the girls in the porn I buy to elicit some movement in my pants (no such luck here). No doubt, you would probably high-five your buddies if you managed to pick up one of these girls in a very dark bar and got blown in the very dark back seat of a car in a very dark parking lot, but god knows I don't want to spend my hard-earned dollars to watch them on film under the hot glare of a video camera light.

In any event, I might as well give you the particulars. First up are Danley Hayes, a rather unappealing brunette (who also graces the cover of the DVD case) and Rain Rivers, a skinny girl with dark circles under her eyes and a tongue-stud, as two cleaning girls dressed as Catholic high school students. After what seems like an eternity of watching these two bend over to mop and wipe, they decide to get to work on each other. They kiss and exchange some oral favors on the dinette set until homeowner, Tyce Bune, shows up. Tyce, of course, bangs each of the young domestic helpers in various positions (including some ass-fucking of Rain) while the girls use their tongues on each other when possible. The girls hop off Tyce in time to take their payment in nut juice in their mouths.

Next up are Jordan and "Quincy Mae" (wow, was this girl last in line when they were handing out porno names?), two thin (Quincy is almost anorexic looking), pasty, very average looking girls who dress up as cheerleaders to interview for stripper jobs. Their interviewer, a stocky chick named Fabrice, demands a girl-girl audition (and taste test) before she will agree to send the girls out on a job. Before you can say "help wanted" the girls are naked on the dining room table trading tongues and fingers with each other and the beefy, tattooed Fabrice.

Kelly, another very pale, so-so looking blonde with a decent figure, plays a real estate broker who will do anything to get a listing. (I swear, will someone get the girls in this movie a gift certificate to a tanning salon?) Tyce, her potential client, is only too willing to oblige by banging Kelly in a number of positions and leaving a deposit in her waiting mouth.

Jessica Gill, yet another stubby, pale young girl who looks like she should be working the late-night shift at Carl's Jr. instead of trying to break into porn, engages in a suck and fuck with the plumber, "Weed" (yes, that is his name), a large, tattooed African-American dude.

Jordan and Quincy (now apparently gainfully employed strippers), return to give Tyce a private girl-girl show before he joins in for another round of three-way action ending with a load of jizz on the girls' faces.

Kelly and Fabrice, playing a potential homebuyer, take time out to test how Tyce's hot tub stands up to some girl-girl action and Jessica strips for Tyce and gets a good pounding on the living room floor.

If you haven't guessed it by now, I did not care for this film. I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE #4 is a sloppily produced, boner negating waste of time. There is nothing remotely arousing about this flick. The sound is dismal and inconsistent, the videography glaring and harsh, and the only "extra" feature is a few measly still photos. The only use you might get out of this DVD is as a novelty drink coaster. Definitely a "pass".