Where The Boys Aren't #18

You can't judge a book by its cover - so the saying goes - otherwise, I would have to say that the latest edition of Vivid's venerable WHERE THE BOYS AREN'T series scores a home run worthy of Hank Aaron's record, thanks to its spectacular DVD packaging. The powder blue cover frames a bevy of outrageous beauties including Briana Banks, Lanny Barby and Tawny Roberts (to name just three of my favorites) with the legendary Tera Patrick on larger-than-life display. Inside gatefold DVD case houses two discs (one for the main feature, the other for extras) along with a mini-poster insert of the stars in all their glamour and glory. I don't there's been a single box cover design in the series' history which has looked less than great and #18 is certainly one of the best I've seen.

Now, the movie itself only doesn't quite live up to what the advertisement promises, although there's no mistaken that this is one enjoyable video. The distinct lack of dialogue or plot (other than the fact that the girls are obviously indulging in sex and sin in the Riviera) along with the soft-focus camerawork will greatly appeal to those who enjoy the work of Michael Ninn or Andrew Blake. However, it might have been more interesting if some cohesive storyline were suggested to connect the six vignettes Just watching random cunnilingus, kissing and caressing, while much appreciated, strikes me as lazy filmmaking.

Still, as far as all-girl titles are concerned, WTBA #18 is certainly among the cream of the crop (though I much prefer the Viv Thomas titles). As it turns out, I had the opportunity to review #18 shortly after re-reviewing some of the other entries for a three-part Diesel's Den articles entitled "I Wanna Be Where The Boys Aren't" (now available free of charge in the Editorial Archives on this very site!), particularly volumes one through six. There is no denying that as far as video quality and direction are concerned, Chi Chi LaRue's efforts here exceed the collective creative content of Paul Thomas and Judy Blue's early work. For instance, the opening vignette pairs up Tera Patrick (looking fantastic in a black swimsuit) and Tawny Roberts (who is also sexy in a bikini maid of chains and cowboy hat). The combination of the two contrasting looks (an smoldering, raven-haired Asian with a showy, WASPy blonde) is not only a visual treat, but sexually imaginative as well. My only complaint is that the kissing segments could have been a bit longer, and Tera remains seated during much of the action.

Now, I'm not suggesting that Miss Patrick and Miss Roberts out-perform legends like Tori Welles and Jamie Summers, but it's might hard (no pun intended) to watch the primitive camera work and direction of Thomas's eighties videos after seeing this flick.


Next up, Savanna takes on The Love Twins, Lyndsey and Lacey. It's surprising to see that this threesome (albeit, without any direct participation between the siblings) was even more subdued and generally softer than the previous scene. Miss Sampson does almost all the physical activity, applying her craft on the two girls while they barely move a muscle. There are extended shots of Savanna eating out one girl while the other has her face buried under Miss Sampson's pussy, but the stilted action makes this affair pretty to look at, but dull to jerk off of (if you'll excuse my wretched grammar).

Monique Alexander teams up with Briana Banks, who has been my longtime object of lust since early 2000. I was surprised to see this once super-skinny blonde now looking thicker and more zaftig. The attractive poundage makes her look more mature, and more sensuous than ever before and I'm sure longtime fans who may have avoided her kinder, gentler Vivid work will be pleasantly surprised.

Mercedez, a hot brunette whose bumpy curves may remind one of other full-figured Latin beauties like Tori Welles during her VCA Pictures days, or Tia Bella during her Vivid Girl reign, is matched up with blonde Lexie Marie. Terribly underrated as a performer, Mercedez is as fuckable as she is pretty, and I enjoyed watching her get wetting all wet and wild, especially in a swimming pool where the two don't let the chlorine and chemicals get in the way of a rug-munching good time.

The penultimate scene featuring Lanny Barbie and Stefani Morgan disappointed me just a wee bit. I've always enjoyed Lanny's gonzo work from years ago, beginning with her early appearances as a brown-haired girl-next-door type for several Anabolic titles and later on as a smoky brunette while at Evil Angel. In this particular video, however, she appears to be just going through the motions with Miss Morgan, changing positions as little as possible and displaying a minimum of passion. It's not too surprising that this scene was deferred until right before the grand finale, which of course is the all-out orgy among all the cast members...

With the sole exception of John Stagliano's work in FACEDANCE, and the climactic scenes from Kirdy Stevens's original TABOO and Andrew Blake's HIDDEN OBSESSIONS, I find most orgies to be rather poorly done. Oftentimes, the camera focuses on action which seems to be less interesting than what appears in the background, and the chaotic nature of all those flailing limbs can be awfully distracting rather than sexually satisfying. Much to his credit, director La Rue does make this hour-long scene work, by giving us sustained shots of the girls at work without too many quick cutaways or trick editing. Some of the action takes place in a pool, while other girls remain indoors. Exceptional sequences include Briana Banks working on Mercedez on a patio lounge chair while Lanny works on the blonde from behind, and the Love Twins (who are much more active here) getting treated by Monique Alexander and Stefani Morgan.

After skipping through the front-loaded ads (which are also present on the main feature, by the way) of Disc Two, I was able to take a look at the bonus features, none of which are unique, but all of them are well-done. I took special interest in the section entitled "A Look Back At Where The Boys Aren't Volumes #1-17" which is nothing more than just a collection of excerpts from the series. However, a quick scan at most of these shortened scenes will make one appreciate just how video quality (and DVD transfers) has greatly improved over the years, and it's always a pleasure to watch the Vivid Girls or yesteryear (or yesterdecade, as the case may be).

While not amazingly wonderful, WTBA #18 should helps those who hunger for girl-on-girl eye-candy.

"Where The Boys Aren't #18" could be subtitled "The Camelot Edition" because it has the royalty from Vivid's recent past: Briana Banks, Tawny Roberts, Lexie Marie, Mercedez and Lanny Barbie. Plus, when you add Tera Patrick, Savanna Samson, Monique Alexander, Stefani Morgan and the Love Twins you've got one hell of a Royal Court--and a pretty decent beauty pageant, too.

Although "WTBA #18" isn't the best volume of Vivid's long running all-girl series (that honor remains with #12) it is far superior to volumes #14-17.

First up is a steamy one-on-one with Tawny and Tera. After playing with their own pussies for a while, the All-American Blonde and her Erasian Beauty partner get down to some serious oral action. Tera is first on the receiving end of Tawny's expert lip service then receiprocates, feasting on the blonde's small butthole as if there's no tomorrow. Tawny has always been, IMO, a better g/g/ performer than b/g, and her pussy licking skills and fuck-me-please body seem to have brought out the inner-lesbian in Tera, who for so many years did not do g/g/ scenes. In WTBA #18 Tera jumps into the pussy-eating elite of porn!

This strong opening is followed by a nice (but nothing special) set from Savanna and the Love Twins, but recovers with a very good match between Monique Alexander (who, like Tawny, is a "natural" girl/girl performer) and Briana Banks. I can't remember a recent scene with Monique or Briana where either girl enjoyed herself as much as in this lesbian tryst. And, isn't porn about "enjoying" yourself?

Next is a warm-up scene with Mercedez and Lexie Marie (who focused their attention on each other throughout the video); with Lexie's almost perfect, but small, body a wonderful counterpoint to Mercedez' full-body MILF sexiness. During her brief hardcore video career (only one year) Lexie mostly worked with men, which is understandable given her knock-out body that men just want to fuck or see fucked. Too bad. She seemed to really be into her work with Mercedez, and appears to have the instincts to be one of the greats in g/g se--like Janine or Felicia.

The Lanny Barbie/Stefani Morgan lickfest follows, and although it is good it did not generate the type of steam that Lexie/Mercedez or Tawny/Tera did.

All of these scenes are lead-ins to the all-girl orgy that closes out the disc. This forty-plus minute scene has all of the girls in various pairings around the outdoor pool [Note: Despite what the box cover says, this video was not shot on the French Riviera.].

Standout performances during the orgy go to Lexie and Mercedez, who are photographed in the water, and below the water line; for some great erotic visuals. The shot of Lexie, legs spread wide open, hanging off the side of the pool, getting her pussy licked by Mercedez is a sure fire ball-drainer.

With this two-disc set Vivid has redeemed itself for it's recent lapses in good customer service. The first disc contains the feature, and a second disc not only contains the usual extras: behind-the-scene short, Vivid Girl Extras, and Previews. But it also contains a retrospective of one scene from each of the previous WTBA volumes #1-17.

My only complaint is that the feature begs for more solo scenes of the individual girls, as well as additional pairings. So many girls, so few pairings. It's a sin. Yes it would have required a three DVD set, but the customers would have eaten it up and paid the extra dollars.

Bottom line: Buy this wonderful DVD package for three reasons. 1. It's one of the best g/g sexvids in the past ten years. 2. Buying it may encourage Vivid to focus more on Quality, Erotic product and not experiment with harder-core and extreme sex. 3. Given the retirements of Tawny, Briana and Lexie, this may be the last postcard that fans will receive from them.

It's the return of one my all-time favroite series, Where the Boys Aren't from Vivid. And I, having missed the previous edition (for some reason which I have yet to figure out) am very excited to see it. With the musical chairs of sorts that has become the roster of Vivid Girls, it should be very interesting to see who gets paired with whom and just looking at the castlist for this one, there are even three names that I know nothing about. But of course, it's Vivid, and if all else fails, at least you'll get to see some very beautiful and very naked women.

The first good point here is that instead of the standard five scenes, there are six. And their really isn't a running plot, more of a situation. The situation here is that the scenes all take place in the French Riviera and all have somewhat of an aquatic feel to them; whether being shot poolside, in a poolhouse, or even in the pool itself, and what a wonderful place for these girls to be.

Of the six scenes, three are exceptional, and its difficult to call the other three bad. Toy usage is kept to a minimum and the pairings here are wonderful at times. And while in-and-out superstar Jenna Jameson sat this one out, she is replaced by another big big name making her WTBA debut: Tera Patrick.

First for the three decent scenes. The movie opens with Tera making her debut with fellow WTBA virgin, Tawny Roberts. Their scene is okay, with the sexual highlight being Tawny munching Tera to orgasm in piledriver to conclude the scene. It comes off as ever so slightly mechanical however, and with Tera's relative newness to doing this, you pretty much have to pair her with an absolute beast to get a great girl-girl scene from her (and with this lineup, the best choice would have definitely been Savanna again). But the two deliver a nice scene, which of course falls back on its ridiculously high-level of eye-candy.

The next scene which just kind of cruises by, oddly enough, is the pairing of Monique Alexander and Briana Banks. The scene does very very well when you leave the two very experienced girls alone, but the introduction of a very large glass toy used on Briana kind of makes about two minutes of this one pretty awkward, up until then and even after, however, its everything you might expect from the two, with the sexual highlight being Briana ending the scene by munching Monique to orgasm and its clear throughout that two really like each other.

The last scene which registers as just okay for me is the pairing of Lanny Barbie and Stefani Morgan (of whom I've never seen before). I actually expected much less than the two put out, this isn't exactly the forte of either as I've learned and Morgan isn't that attractive to me (beautiful, of course, but not drop-dead gorgeous like her scene partner here). Lanny, on the other hand, is in here duking it out amongst Tera and Mercedez for the movie's most beautiful. The two go at it poolside nicely with the highlight here being Lany kicking one leg up while Stefani digs her to orgasm.

Now, onto the good stuff!

The absolute best scene in the movie comes second as the piece of genius pairing of vet Savanna Samson getting it on half in the pool and half poolside with The Love Twins, Lindsey and Lacey (who are two other girls I'm not familar with). The scene is pretty much what you might imagine with Savanna taking turns on both of the girls (now they, I do find attractive). This one is smoking throughout, fantastic scenery and while no real highlight stands out, its the one scene that I actually enjoyed every second of and its gorgeous, it looks like it was filmed in heaven!

Checking in fourth is the mindnumbingly beautiful pairing of now former Vivid Girls, Mercedez and Lexi Marie. These two look so perfect together that they could have sat down and played cards on the scene and I wouldn't have cared too much. But they fuck, too! The sexual highlight here is actually the ending of the sex part of the scene, but with over four minutes remaining as someone was paying great attention: While the sex situation occurs on a massage table off to the side of the pool, the girls spend the final four minutes of the scene completely naked in the pool swimming and just generally fondling each other! This is absolutely wonderful and were it not for Savanna's cool domination of The Love Twins, would obviously make for WTBA 18's finest moment, but even as it is, its not too far behind.

The last excellent scene here is of course the obligatory flick ending orgy. This one takes place pretty much everywhere and the pairings are very nice. Going in, I wanted to see Tera, Lany and Mercedez all hook up in one way or another and Tera actually starts with Lany and Briana, while Mercedez keeps Lexi to herself (and I'm still not complaining; Savanna hooks up nicely with Tawny and The Love Twins go at it with Monique and Stefani.

Mercedez does eventually go one on one with Tera which is nice as the two go opposite ends of a double-headed piece in the pool. My sexual highlight here, however, is rather unsurprisingly Mercedez and Lexi, whose pairing eventually winds up with Mercedez tossing and bending and spreading Lexi in the pool, and if you love beautiful women, your head is spinning at this point. The only real complaint here is that the entire gruop never gets in the pool and The Love Twins pretty much stay hidden away with Monique and Stefani (you'd think that since they can't touch each other, obviously, it would be better to split them up).

Overall, this one you should definitely check out. I took awhile off from watching porn and chose the perfect title to come back on. It sort of reminds me of a slightly better version of Babes Illustrated 13 (which I loved). Of course, this is a Vivid project, so the extras are top-notch, as is the video and audio (save for the music, which sometimes becomes overbearing). I think I even watched a few hours of extras before even making it to the movie!