Patent Leather

Not even the talented Missy can help bail out PATENT LEATHER, a 1995 feature now
available from Caballero on DVD. Directed by Henri Pachard (who has a non-sex role in
the movie as Missy's husband), PATENT LEATHER does not succeed at either the story
telling or sexual level, although some of the girls really look good in their outfits.


The movie begins with Missy (wearing patent leather, of course, as all of the girls in the
movie do) out on the streets trying to pick up a trick. Henri Pachard comes along and he
seems like he is interested. Before the deal is made, however, along comes Alex Sanders
who begs Missy to stop trying to pick guys up on the streets. Back at her place, Alex and
Missy exchange in a little dirty talk before getting it on. Just before Alex climaxes, we see
Henri watching in the background. Turns out he is Missy's husband, and Alex is the
boyfriend. Alex didn't know Missy was married (he first thinks that it is her father), yet
Henri already knows about Alex.
This sets up an interesting premise, which is totally abandoned to pursue a series of sex
scenes with other women in their leather outfits. The second involves Sydney St. James
and Shawn Ricks. Sydney is in a hot red outfit and seems to get off looking at sex toys
while she is being fucked. The highlight of this scene is the nice facial she gets at the
end.


The third scene in this film is probably my favorite, and it involves red-headed Nikki
Arizona and T.T. Boy. He is sitting in a chair watching her intently as she tries on a
number of different outfits before settling for a matching red bra and panties. T.T. then
comes over and she starts sucking him off. They get on a waterbed and enjoy a little
doggie, cowgirl and missionary before he slides his cock into her ass for some anal action.
The scene concludes with an above-average facial.


Next, we rejoin Missy and Sydney for a lesbian scene. Unfortunately, from this viewer's
perspective, Missy seems to be much more into the scene than Sydney does. It's also
basically just an oral scene, as no toys of any sort are used by either of the girls.


The final scene is between blonde Rachel Love and Jake Steed. This one wastes no time
with foreplay, as Rachel quickly begins to suck Jake off. Missy and Henri wind up
watching the second half of the action and Jake finishes off by giving Rachel a load all
over her face. She complains that Jake was supposed to cum on her patent leather, but
Jake (in the movie's funniest line) says "sorry...it's just that I saw this in a movie
once!"


The video and audio for this feature are so-so, and the features are below average. It does
offer chapter stops, but the photo gallery isn't very hot, and the other features such as web
site info, phone sex info and previews are simply pages with information listed on them.
There are no trailers or extra scenes. As for the movie, as I stated at the beginning of the
review, it seems to be lacking in both eroticism and quality. However, if you like girls in
leather, or are a big fan of Missy, then it's probably worth checking out.

Every time I learn that an adult film company is sending us some of their DVDs to review for the very first time, I usually cross my fingers and hope for the best. Just call me a pessimist, but I normally don't expect to be enthralled by the smut I get to see. I've reviewed too many mediocre movies from half assed porno production houses to think otherwise. And while I've learned over the past two years that finding a decent adult film in the review bin is a crap shoot at best, sometimes I'm lucky enough to stumble upon a movie from a smut syndicate that offers up a unique perspective on the genre.

With its satisfying spin on sex, "Patent Leather," released by Caballero Digital, does just that. Not only did it renew my faith in quality adult films, it also gave me a yearning to take part in some serious leather oriented intercourse, provided it's with the opposite sex, of course! Generally speaking, this type of fetish fucking is not usually my forte. But now that I've seen this flick, I may have to alter my XXX-rated line of thinking. Yes, my hat's off - and my dick's raised way up - in salute to the crew over at Caballero Digital for pulling this carnal obsessive flick out of their prurient porno archives.

"Patent Leather" (which gets its title from all of the leather wearing girls in it) is chock full of all sorts of unorthodox coitus cravings, most of which will make even longtime smut watchers get more than a bit hot & bothered. And, to add to my own personal satisfaction (and hopefully yours too!), all of the acts in this movie are performed by the likes of such well known adult film stars as Missy, Rachel Love, and Alex Sanders, to name just a few. This raunchy roster, which also includes T.T. Boy, Jake Steed and Sydney St. James, is just another reason you'll want to check out this flick.

Truth be told, all I had to do was watch the first five minutes of "Patent Leather" and I was hooked on this DVD in a big way. That's because bodacious blonde minx Missy (wearing a skimpy tit exposing leather outfit, a jean jacket and not much else) offered director Henri Pachard (in a cameo acting appearance) a chance to experience her XXX-rated version of "Around the world in 80 days." Believe me, this had nothing to do with that novel about going on an excursion around the globe! To the contrary, this involved Missy taking her tongue on a trip across Henri's body from top to bottom, including his asshole. And she was willing to do it all for a paltry sum of $200 too! Hey, that sounds like quite a bargain to me! Henry, though, had other plans. Smart guy that he is, he tried to barter the price down to a C-Note. But before Missy could respond, her boyfriend in this vignette (ably played by well hung Alex Sanders), put her on a guilt trip, thus prompting her to go home and satisfy his needs instead. The end result was an opening sex scene in which Alex basically got whatever he wanted, including having Missy blow his bone with reckless abandon. As usual, Missy strokes and sucks a mean shaft here! She's also proficient in mouthing her man's sack. Eventually, Alex shows off his skills by giving Missy an oral treat in the form of his tongue up her clit and asshole. With Missy's legs spread wide, Alex then bangs her beaver in multiple positions (i.e. supine and doggy variations) before releasing a drippy load on her perky tits. Subsequently, Henri shows up to get a piece too, but by the time he strips down to his boxers Missy's mind is on to other things. Nice to know porno directors are just like regular guys and get turned down by beautiful women too!

Speaking of regular guys, Shawn Ricks - who's not the most in shape dude I've ever seen in a porno - apparently has no problem whatsoever convincing gorgeous gals to have sex with him. In the second scene, he porks busty blonde Sydney St. James like you wouldn't believe. At first, the red leather wearing Sydney plays hard to get. But soon she's lying on a couch, playing with herself and begging to suck Shawn's hard stick. But she'll have to wait for her chance to administer oral sex. First, it's Ricks' turn to give her a tongue up her neatly trimmed twat and two fingers up the tush. That's a very nice combination, if I do say so myself! Judging from Sydney's incessant moaning I'd say she agrees with my assessment of the situation. In fact, she's so horned up by Shawn's antics that she's willing to suck his dick and do a hell of a lot more. Great camera work in this clip gets the viewer up close and personal as St. James dolls out a delicious hummer and then rides Shawn's rod cowgirl style. Despite the terrific start, this clip tails off a bit in the middle when Shawn fucks Sydney from behind in a difficult to see position. Translated that means the camera angle sucks. The grainy film quality doesn't help matters any either. Fortunately, things soon pick up when Ricks fires a fountain of cum all over Sydney's face to end the scene in style. This is a category transcending disc will make your leather sticky.