Masquerade

Were you one of the people who went to see Stanley Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut" hoping to witness a bunch of masked rich people fucking like bunnies, only to end up let down by the lameness of everything that the film turned out to be? (Hey, I love Kubrick, but that movie was still wacky.) Luckily for you, luscious French pastry Laure Sainclair isn't a cold fish like Nicole Kidman, and in "Masquerade," she makes sure that you're going to enjoy the sight of kinked-up rich folks getting it on at a masked orgy. This is another team-up between Laure and producer Marc Dorcel, so you're guaranteed a few things: Totally gorgeous chicks, very few -- if any -- silicone racks, and laughably atrocious English dubbing.

But you know you rarely watch these movies for "the dialogue," and unlike most American smut, Euro-sleaze like this generally guarantees that the top star is going to be in most of the flick. Lovely Laure's in a whopping six (count 'em, six) fuck scenes out of the ten (and that's not including a couple of other small moments with a strip-show and a blowjob that doesn't pop), so if you're a fan, you know you'll get your money's worth. Here, Laure plays an uptight housewife whose husband has to bang high-class whores at the "Domaine des Biches" because she's just too much of a prude...she only does blow-jobs, tit-fucks, and missionary-style coupling, and even if she'll take her husbands cum all over her face, she totally gasps at the thought of getting a cock up her delectable derriere...because it's unnatural.

But when Laure discovers her man's extramarital cock-polishing, she's determined to bone up on her kinksmanship. She joins the Domaine des Biches, where the head mistress and a servant girl initiate her to Sapphic pleasures by teasing her beautiful body with a riding crop, in addition to fingering and slurping her greedy snatch. Laure discovers the fine art of pussy-eating while dining on the servant's cunt, and experiences a body-shaking orgasm when the servant girl fingers and rubs her love button.

Laure's not the only hottie at this house of ill repute though. Golden-haired Euro-tart Anita Blond is there too, and her expert whoredom delivers a hot blowjob after her client eats her tangy twat and slips in a finger or two. She proves her sexual prowess when she takes him doggy, reverse cowgirl, cowgirl and missionary style, and for her efforts she's paid in full with a blast of cum all over the front of her body.

After a couple of false starts and bad experiences, Laure is ready for her leap into slut stardom. She takes on a guy with a funeral fetish, so while she's decked out in black, her grieving pussy gets some warm attention from his tongue and hand. Her cowgirl and missionary sexing leads her to the piece de resistance: She finally takes a cock up her virgin keester, reverse cowgirl style. And when she accepts his baptism of love juice all over her face, you know she's a bona fide Hall of Fame whore.

Raven-tressed harlot Anita Dark also gets to enjoy some strange perversions when her client wants to pretend he's a conductor busting a freeloading beauty on his train. She's got to pay him with something other than money, and fortunately, her cunt pleases him more than chump change. He licks her luscious slit and pumps her box with a couple of fingers before she takes his lovestick into her mouth. The doggy style fuck that follows leads to a healthy facial, and a mouthful of cum to boot.

By the end of the movie, Laure's amazing ass is the ultimate prize in a room full of masked men and women. Two disguised gents get to sample every one of her considerable charms. While she blows one, the other laps her labia. She gets doggied over a lavish throne while huffing cock, until she gets shafted up the butt reverse cowgirl style. The torrid anal becomes a D.P. when the other masked man slides into her dripping pussy. Both guys slather her shoulder and ass with cum, and when the masks are removed, Laure realizes that her passionate buttfucker was none other than her husband. Pleased with their mutual love of total kink, their relationship is rejuvenated, and they live happily ever after. Only in the movies, right?

"Masquerade" is a consistently hot slice of Euro-smut, and if you don't know who Laure Sainclair is yet, you're sure to be a fan of this French import after you see this. The one downside is that there isn't much on the DVD beyond nicely animated menus, language and subtitle selections, web info, a photo gallery, and biographies for Laure and the two Anitas.

If you have listened to the lyrics of the famous Pina Colada pop song, you may already have a sense for this film's plot. They don't track exactly, but the ending is similarily sweet, though the journey appears to be precarious.

This era of Dorcel film is charmingly whimsical and fun to watch for couples-especially those who might recognize various Parisian location footage. We watched in French and believed what we wanted to believe about the dialog. Fun.