Too Small To Take It All

I don't know if I've been in a reviewing slump lately or what. It's like a goldilocks and the three bears thing I have going on. This film is too stupid. This one's too vanilla. This one doesn't make any sense. This one is unwatchable. So imagine my relief at getting a film from Third Degree. They have a really hard time fucking something up, so I'm watching Too Small to Take it All with both high expectations and the confidence they can deliver.

With this film, you have to be five foot two or shorter to be in it. As someone with two ladies in my life like that, I'm all about this film. Very, very nice. I could do without the weight limit they put in this film, as I tend to like an athletic woman, and the in-shape ladies tend to weigh a bit more. Tanner Mayes is up first, demonstrating all of these requirements to us, and she's just far too cute to be doing porn. A lovely little brunette, Tanner proclaims that she wants her big cock, so they go off and find Mark Ashley. But what is it about the pussy wedgie with the panties? Seriously, what the hell? I HATE that! Why do they do that, and why do the directors always call it "fucking hot?" Eventually we actually get to some interaction, and Tanner can suck a lot more cock than I would have ever guessed. Really quite impressive to watch. She almost gets completely balls deep, but that's asking quite a bit. Mark wants to lick her ass for a bit, which I would too, before he gets down to fucking her in just about every position you can imagine. The reverse cowgirl could have been better had it not been for the fact that Mark was trying to do all the work. Most of the facial went right by her face, though she still got a healthy dose on her tongue. I'm guessing it's time to clean the floor. And the couch. And maybe the ceiling.

My favourite Spaniard this side of Fernando Alonso (at least when he's driving for Renault - if you don't know, get up to speed on Formula One) is up next, the lovely and talented Rebeca Linares. I'm also thrilled that she's working with Steve Holmes in this scene. Steve is one of my absolute favourites, the now-aging European still one of the best guys working in the business. At about four foot ten and ninety pounds, Rebeca really is tiny. I know it's also a lot of rich people mansions that they use for filming these scenes, and the fact that Rebeca Linares is rubbing her pussy on a glass table is massive motivation for me to try to become rich. I want my coffee table to be so experienced. Watching Rebeca Linares spread her legs while in stockings is one of life's rare pleasures; watching her do reverse cowgirl is even more so. As it's Rebeca, you know there's going to be some anal involved, and sure enough, she does it like a champ. In fact, she seems to have an easier time with anal than vaginal sex. I do like how Rebeca gives a lot of the direction in this scene as well, telling Steve where to put his hands, what to do, etc. I like a porn star who knows what she wants, gives as well as receives, and is otherwise very active in a scene. Ultimately, Steve winds up dropping a big load on Rebeca's face and a bit in her mouth. A well captured, well performed scene. Nicely done.

Lexi Belle is well worth your attention as well, though her scene is just a bit more conventional than the last one. She puts in a good solid performance with Ben English that is well captured and presented. It's another high quality scene. Watching her absolutely adorable face get completely painted in the end is worth the price of the disc alone.

With two more scenes on this disc, you're surely getting your money's worth and then some. I could have maybe gone for a bit more anal in this disc, as tiny girls taking it in the ass is unbelievably hot (as Rebeca demonstrated), Too Small to Take it All is just fine as it stands. And it stands as well made, well captured, well performed porn that deserves a place on your shelf.