Member Reviews
Annoying Comedy Hour
I want to like a title like Anal Ballerinas. I mean, what isn't there to like? Anal! Ballerinas! But even though this is supposed to be an all sex feature, Wicked just can't help themselves by setting up some kind of scenario that makes my brain hurt more than just a little bit. If Anal Ballerinas were remixed to avoid any attempt at acting, it would easily be a must-own. Purchase depending on your idiocy tolerance.
Missy Stone's work to start is just tasty, though that again applies if you can deal with the stupid. Step one: turn the sound off. The ridiculous fake ass and mustache on the guy is just death for this scene. I'm actually using one of my word processor windows to cover my DVD viewer on my computer. Painful. Just painful. Why this has to go on for four minutes is beyond me, but Missy finally finds another guy, also with a fake mustache (the maturity of professional wrestling continues). Points for Missy's outfit, as it's a sexy off-white body stocking thing. She looks more innocent in this scene, not as vamped up as she can, though they didn't go for the overly young look she sometimes tries. It's a great compromise. We're zoomed in far too close for the blowjob, though, where they actually change the rotation of the camera to try to fit everything in the screen. Really, the genitals don't have to be actual size for it to be alluring. Eventually there's some anal, though frequently again we're zoomed in too much. Shadowing here makes it not the greatest. Missy has been in far better scenes than this, honestly. It's a condom scene, so nothing for ATM fans, though the facial is a good-sized one. I would have preferred her staring at her partner rather than the camera in the end, especially as they try to go back to the theme of the scene just a bit in the end. This should be better.
More dumb up next, more fake mustaches and terrible acting. Grow the hell up. It's four and a half minutes of two fake mustache guys without a girl in sight. I punched the fast forward button so far I got to Emma Heart's scene. Well, that's okay, if it weren't for the same moron from the beginning trying to be funny again. Six more minutes of bad acting, and Emma is finally giving head, though doing it in FAR too dark of a room. Emma is a great talent, but so much of her is missed here as the premise makes itself too obvious. More attention to technical details would have helped, as she's far too shadowed, and the camera angles are just all wrong to capture Emma. She seems surrounded half the time, where we barely can tell where her entire body is. When they get to doggie, it's better, as the rest of her clothes come off, removing some of the shadowing. It's a nice facial in the end, though the shadowing here is really bad, as if the main light is behind the guy and he's shadowing her face. Another failure.
Andi Anderson and Melanie Jayne try to save the last scene, though I've always found it very difficult to have a girl-girl scene as the last on a disc. So few directors know how to do a scene like this in order to create a sense of closure for the film. Andi rims Melanie for a bit, which is decent to watch, again with shadowing. It really doesn't pick up much steam, though, and it makes for a weak, and somehow fitting, ending for Anal Ballerinas.
I wish I could like this film. Wicked makes good features, and I feel they've done a lot to grow up and create mature films in recent years. Anal Ballerinas is a massive step backwards. It's poorly made with annoying gimmicks and immature attempts at comedy. A film like this would have been far better had it been a simple gonzo flick, allowing us to see each girl in her ballerina getup and then get down to business. Until Mark Stone figures something like that out, he should be barred from making any more films for Wicked, let alone anyone.
Anal lovers delight
Wicked's Anal Ballerinas delivers what the name suggest, anal, anal and more anal.
Each scene is preceded by a ridiculous comedy act consisting of mustachioed men acting silly. If these were the best interludes that could be developed, then the scenes would have been better served being set up as vignettes. But that's not what you're here for anyway, so on to the sex.
The petite fireball Missy Stone starts the action in a hot scene with Danny Mountain. Missy blows Danny before laying back to get her pussy licked and fingered. By the time, Mr. Mountain bends her over for some doggie, her pussy is glistening with juices. The pussy penetration is short-lived, as the scene quickly moves to anal. Anal doggie, anal reverse cowgirl and some slow, deep missionary lead to Missy taking a facial off the chin.
The couples in the three scene Felony/Marco Banderas, Emma Heart/Tommy Gunn, and Jennifer Dark/Nick Manning follow the same script with some pussy penetration followed by a session of long multiple position anal action.
Two ladies heat up the screen for the final scene. Blonde bombshell Andi Anderson and Melanie Jayne start with some light kissing and titty sucking. Soon enough, Melanie is eating out Andi and vice versa. The girls quickly move to anal action with some slick sixty-nine rimming action. Glass dildos come out next, with the girls taking turns stuffing the toys up each other's asses. Andi finishes Melanie and the scene off by shoving the dildo in and out of Melanie's ass while simultaneously licking her clit and fingering her pussy, giving both Melanie and the audience an explosive end to this total anal fest.
The Special Features contain a Bonus Sex Scene with Tanner Mays and Dane Cross from Teen Alien Sex Dreams, a very nice bonus. Also included are some funny behind the scenes footage from the feature, a photo gallery, trailers and a Wicked promo reel.