Miami Spice

For anybody who grew up in the eighties, the origins of MIAMI SPICE should be obvious to those who recognize the names Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, for their acting (if not for their singing) careers. Surprisingly, this take-off of the former hit series is faithful to the tone and tenor of the Michael Mann-originated television show. Sexy Amber Lynn and smoking Sheri St. Clair assume the Crockett and Tubbs roles in a big-budget (big for porn that is), shot-on-film tale of cops and robbers.

There are seven major sex scenes in this tale of dealing and corruption, and the rather predictable plot stops dead in its tracks whenever the actors take time off to grab some nookie. Still, I found most of the hardcore action undeniably hot, and it was a pleasure to see some of the best talents of the eighties doing what they do best. With the exception of Amber Lynn, most of the actresses here probably won't be familiar at all to the viewer who only seeks videos with Jenna Jameson or Asia Carrera on the box cover. However, the women in this movie are all experts in the field, and did great work before porn became more "acceptable" in this day and age.

Danielle is a somewhat hard-looking, but nevertheless sexy blonde, who always gave an enthusiastic sexual performance during her 1980s video career. She opens the film with a one-on-one with Randy West, looking pretty damn young compared to his recent appearances in his long-running UP AND CUMMERS series. She later shares a scene with Eric Edwards on his yacht which is equally arousing, and showcases her underrated (and probably long-forgotten talents). Danielle gives great blowjobs, and has an all-natural body untouched by silicone, body ink and piercings. In fact, most of the women here (save for Jeanette Littledove) are naturally good-looking, and a refreshing change from all the plastic surgery we see in most of today's actresses.

Amber Lynn, the real-life sister of Buck Adams, has always been a talented cocksucker, using her whole body to deep-throat her lucky partner while she eyeballs them with a devilish grin. She performs in three scenes here, including a classic segment where she and partner Sheri cock-cuff Randy West while he's out laying by his pool. "All I have to do is wait for my dick to get soft and it will slide right out of there!" he sneers. So naturally, Amber uses her oral talents to keep him nice and stiff and captive, while Ms. St. Clair interrogates him. It is a comical scene performed straight, which actually works thanks to the talents of both women. They then engage in some underwater blowjobs while frolicking in Randy's pool, who returns the favor by some hungry rug-munching.

Randy also gets to have some fun with cute Candi Evans, a thin, sexy blonde whose girlish voice matches perfectly with her bubbly personality. Dark-haired, dark-skinned Jeanette Littledove (once married to Buck Adams and is therefore the former sister-in-law to Amber Lynn...it's a small world after all, even in porn!) also participates in the threesome although I was disappointed to see a lack of contact between the two girls. Jeanette is also far more reserved and shows almost no emotional reaction while having sex, but Candi's attitude makes up for most of the missing fun. For those who have not previously seen Candi at work, this movie is a perfect opportunity to see her in action, and to show why she still has a cult fan following today.

In a scene on a yacht, Amber and Sheri watches as Danielle does some seductive dancing with moves resembling outtakes from FLASHDANCE. Danielle then goes down on lucky Eric Edwards, before Amber joins in and takes over the oral work. Sheri finishes him off in a rousing fuck and suck, while Amber and Danielle enjoy some quality time together.

The movie is again interrupted by a pool scene love-fest focusing on cute Blondi and then-boyfriend Tony Montana, whose scene is intercut by Porsche Lynn having sex with Rick Pons. Blondi is sorely underrepresented on DVD, so I was happy to have the movie just to see her in action. Porsche Lynn can be seen in other videos like PINK N' PRETTY and NIGHT TRIPS, but viewers will also enjoy her work here. By the way, for those who are not familiar with their porn history, neither of the Lynn girls are sisters, or in any way related. (However, Amber is the real life older sister of Ginger Lynn, and the two commit shocking in a taboo but scorching lesbian scene in GINGER ON THE ROCKS...just kidding! None of the girls are at all related, but their scene in GINGER ON THE ROCKS is still a damn good one!).

At the film's conclusion, Amber entices secretary Barbara Dare for a threesome with their boss, which is a better epilogue than anything I've ever seen in the original MIAMI VICE. Fans of Ms. Dare may be disappointed by her short, but sweet appearance here, but anything she's in is worth checking out. Truth be told, none of these scenes really rank among the best work of each actress, but watching them all in action in a big movie like this is an opportunity which should not be missed.

Unfortunately, Caballero has done their usual mediocre job of giving this classic film an adequately acceptable digital presentation. The first thing you may notice about this DVD is that the cover art is less than pristine. The photographs have a soft, blurry look and the whole design looks retouched and recolored as part of the packaging. In fact, compared to the box covers of other releases, it is abundantly clear that the art is a second or third generation print of the original: it looks a VHS box cover it was quickly scanned in and spit out by a cheap color printer before it was slapped into the plastic case. This is the kind of look one might expect from a bootlegger, not from a major company like Caballero.

Furthermore, the video is very grainy, and looks like it was taken from a worn print or video master of the film. In some ways, the soft textures of the laserdisc or VHS are preferable since the defects aren't as noticeable. As with all Caballero discs, there are some chapter scanning problems where the user is unable to reverse search past the beginning point of any given chapter. I understand that there may be a logical technical explanation for this, but I don't care: I just want my disc to work right!

Nevertheless, MIAMI SPICE is a fun little film for those who can appreciate a serious porn parody on popular culture. It's an enjoyable, ambitious flick!