Up and Cummers 68

In the not so near future I envision a major museum exhibit devoted to the wonderful world of porn. In one corner, fans could see Bambi Woods' cheerleading costume from Debbie Does Dallas. Set inside a bullet proof glass display cases would be various objects such as Marilyn Chambers' notorious Ivory Snow box or John Holmes' sunglasses from the popular Johnny Wadd series.

If such an exposition takes off, there are few modern artifacts more worthy of display than Randy West's sofa. Think of all the girls he's nailed on that thing. Most guys would have that thing dipped in bronze and sent to the Smithsonian after screwing only 5 girls on it! Just think, they could run a looping video in the background showing some of its more prominent scenes, and if they need a corporate sponsor, how about Scotchgard? Anyway, Up and Cummers 68 is yet another episode where Randy puts some more mileage on that very sofa.

The opening scene marks Bunny Luv's first appearance in a porno...see, more historical significance. Sporting dark hair and those natural breasts we've all come to love, Bunny begins the scene with a short strip tease and then proceeds to fill her pussy with some sort of vibrator that resembles an alien torture device; but she seems to like it. While that foreign object buzzes away in her twat, Randy dips his more familiar object into her mouth. Bunny eventually abandons the dildo for the real thing as Randy plows away on her cute little pussy; those great tits dance all over her chest as he slams into her repeatedly while occasionally slapping her ass. She's obviously really tight because when Randy climaxes inside her, none of his jizz dribbles forth in the way his flaccid cock eventually does. However, Bunny still gets a fair dose of external jizz when one of Randy's friends fucks her tits and cums all over her chest. She promptly rubs her palms across the strings and pools of semen, smoothing it out like sun tan lotion across her chest and stomach. Even Bunny's harshest critics can't deny the intensity of her first performance.

Next up is a gorgeous and well proportioned black girl named Mary Jane. In addition to her cute face, she has a knock your socks off pair of big tits and a stellar ass. Randy only needs to watch her finger herself for awhile before his cock is ready for action. He slams into her pussy from a number of positions before she grabs his cock and directs it into her butthole. But too much of a good thing proves too much and Randy prematurely explodes inside her ass; evident by the stream of jizz running out of her anus and down her leg. Fortunately, Julian St. Jox is nearby and takes on the challenge of slam fucking the very vocal Mary into submission; he dosen't even take the time to wipe up Randy's mess. After fucking her pussy and ass for several minutes, Julian joins Randy as the two jerk off all over her body. Mary puts on a really good show and injects an appreciated dose of genuine enthusiasm...good job.

Although the last two scenes don't even come close to the first two, they're not too bad. The third scene allegedly takes place on Randy's 50th birthday and Jessica Darlin has brought Allysin Chaynes and Vanessa over to help celebrate. Technically, all three of these girls are young enough to be Randy's daughters, but that notion never phases him while he approaches the fine pussy smorgasbord laid across his sofa. He acts like a giddy child in a candy store, starting from left to right, eagerly dipping his cock into each girl's twat for a few pumps each. Jessica gets into it the most, making high pitched animal sounds while her milky white tits jump up to her shoulders and down again. For her efforts, Allysin and Vanessa jerk Randy off all over Jessica's face. Impromptu scenes are usually pretty hot, but apparently Randy has somewhere else to go immediately following the incident; with the exception of undoing his fly, he kept on all of his clothes throughout the entire scene.

The last scene is a tepid and bland left-over from Up and Cummers 67. It features a foot fetish segment with Amy Atakani, Amythiest, and D.J.X. The scene is pretty uneventful and prominently features both girls using their feet to jerk off D.J.X. With their four feet sandwiched together, he lets loose a salvo of jizz across their toes. I guess if you're into this sort of thing it's pretty good, but it didn't really work for me.

Compared to past Up and Cummers DVDs, I was rather impressed by this disc's quality. Although not perfect, the picture looks much better than the grainy image I've become accustomed to. Likewise, the audio is pretty crisp and provides a full array of natural sound without resorting to a music track. On the downside, the DVD's extras are of the mediocre variety, offering nothing more than a slide show and a handful of trailers. I readily admit, a commentary track would probably be boring, but how about a bloopers reel or something original? With his enormous library of footage, Randy could even throw in a bonus scene.

Up and Cummers 68 gets off to a great start, but really loses steam in the second half. Still, there's plenty of highlights to supplement that video accompanying the sofa at the museum; both Bunny and Jessica's entourage turned in great performances while reclined on its plush cushions. If the porn exhibit is successful, they could expand on the popularity by opening a chain of themed restaurants. How about Planet Porn...or my personal favorite, The Hard Cock Café? Either way, I think people would jump at the chance to get their picture taken while sitting on Randy's well worn (and oft soiled) sofa.