If You Only Knew

If it weren't for the explicit sex, this Paul Thomas film could possibly fit into the Lifetime network's programming schedule... and I mean that as a compliment. Like most of Thomas' work, If You Only Knew is a well-written feature with all the usual bells and whistles of a Vivid picture. In this case, bells and whistles refer to a shot-on-film production with two distinct locations. However, the relatively heavy narrative elements and tame sex scenes have the potential to alienate some viewers.

In the movie, Taylor Hayes and Joey Ray play a couple facing a crossroads in their relationship. In the opening minutes of the film Taylor discovers she's pregnant. Unaware of her condition, Joey is somewhat distant, focused solely on the shallowness of his job and work-out routine. His feelings of suburban inadequacy are only exacerbated by the revelation of his wife's unexpected pregnancy and an unannounced visit from one of his bohemian buddies, played by Dale DaBone. On the first night he's in town, Joey and Dale hit a bar to catch up on old times. Dale wastes no time hitting on a waitress (Felicia Fox) and eventually gets his way with her in a back room. Joey is offered to join in, but declines on account of his wedding vows. Somewhat surprised by his friend's tame ways, later Dale relates a story to Taylor telling her what they were both like in the day. This flashback involves both guys going to work on a prostitute played by Adajja. Although this two-on-one encounter has potential, nothing too exceptional follows as both guys take turns screwing her before jerking off on her tits and chin.

In an unexpected deviation, the story then flashbacks to a time prior to when Joey met Taylor. Set in San Francisco, this segment shows Joey as a waiter while Dale is stuck in the back of the same restaurant as a dish washer; look for a cameo by Paul Thomas as the chef. While working one day, Joey catches the eye of a dark haired beauty played by Claudia Adkins. If you can stomach the sappy date montage that follows, you'll be rewarded with the hottest scene in the movie. Although Taylor is the headlining star, Claudia steals the show as the two return to Joey's place for some post-date fun. Claudia doesn't just suck Joey's dick, she inhales it with unapologetic slurps. Once his cock is well lubed with her saliva (and whatever else coats the back of her throat) she slops it between her tits and strokes him up and down. Joey's own oral repertoire is less impressive, but Claudia seems to enjoy it as he licks and nibbles away at her pink folds. The up-tempo scene continues with an impressive reverse cowgirl setup before Claudia bends over for a frantic ass pounding. With her ass loosened up, the two move to a couch and continue the butt love session, this time with Joey spooning it in from behind. He eventually pulls out and glazes her ass cheek with a few squirts of man goo, prompting Claudia to turn around and suck his still dripping cock; if only the rest of the scenes were this good.

Joey's relationship with Claudia eventually cools off as Taylor enters his life. But before they're completely through, Dale takes the opportunity to get it on with Taylor. As Joey chases after Claudia, Dale puts on the moves, getting Taylor go down on him. He then screws her in a few different positions before the scene suddenly comes to a close without a pop shot; kind of a strange time to flash forward. Back in the present Taylor temporarily leaves Joey to sort out his priorities. Dale's care-free presence probably isn't the best influence at this time in his life, but it does get him laid. During one of Dale's casino themed parties, he sends Chelsea Sinclair up to Joey's room to help relieve some stress. Chelsea looks hot while doing a striptease, and even hotter with Joey's cock up the ass. Once Joey pops on her face, he seems to find the clarity he's been looking for. Taylor returns as Joey confesses his moment of weakness, only to discover that she's been unfaithful too. All ends happily as they make up by screwing on the kitchen table.

Lately, Vivid's DVD releases have been getting a bit better with a focus on original supplemental content. But the fake multi-angles still need to go, and the transfers could also use some work too. Like some film to DVD transfers, this one exhibits a fair amount of graininess as well as some pixelation. Despite these issues, the audio sounds pretty good, presented in Dolby 5.1 with an even mix of dialogue and music. I was also impressed to find a 20-minute behind the scenes featurette as one of the extras. The 90-second outtakes reel is a nice addition too, but it would have been nice if it were a bit longer. Taylor and Adajja fans will probably enjoy the four bonus scenes bundled on the disc. Taylor's first scene is with Bobby Vitale from Creating Kate, and her second one is with Rocco from Taylor Loves Rocco. Adajja's first scene is with Herschel Savage from The Pin Up and the second one features a short blowjob given to Steve Taylor in How to Marry a Millionaire.

Overall, If You Only Knew is another fine feature from Paul Thomas and Vivid. But while the production values and impressive locales help propel the story, the mediocre sex scenes do little to make this one very memorable. Therefore, fans of story driven porn will probably enjoy it, but may ultimately feel a bit shortchanged due to the paint by numbers sex.