Chatter Box

Chatter Box is one of the most off-the-wall premises you'll ever see committed to a feature length production. After reading the description on the back of the box (mentioning a talking vagina and anus) the curiosity factor got the best of me. Mixing comedy and porn is never an easy task, but this Cleo Edwards production benefits from a versatile and capable cast that somehow managed to overpower the involuntary chuckles that surely ensued on the set of this low brow yukfest. Evan Stone plays an unscrupulous lawyer who just happens to have a talking asshole. His star crossed lover (Briana Banks) is plagued with a similar ailment: a talking vagina. I know, it sounds pretty dumb, but the clever addition of a laugh track gives the movie a self awareness that evokes a slight degree of intelligence and wry introspection. But for the most part, the laugh track is nothing more than a gimmick used to bolster the flat unimaginative humor.

Helping to establish his character (or lack there of) the movie begins as Evan helps an old blind woman across the street. But he stops short of the curb leaving the poor old woman stranded in the middle of a busy intersection. After this incident we aren't too surprised to find out he's a criminal defense lawyer. When he returns home he has his girlfriend (Ann Marie) prance around naked for him before she sucks his cock. He screws her in a couple of positions (cowgirl and doggy) and then tells her he has a surprise for her. While her eyes are closed he has one of his tattoo adorned clients (Marty Romano) jerk off on her face while he giggles and takes photos. If that's not dark enough, the distraught Ann Marie throws herself off a second story balcony (landing herself in the hospital) due to Evan's "asshole" behavior.

In an effort to come to terms with his inner asshole, Evan consults a proctologist (Tony Tedeschi). When Tony asks if Evan's always been like this, the movie whisks into a flashback sequence set in 1967 San Francisco, at the moment of his birth. After his mom (Brie Brooks) has given birth, the hippie doctor (Brian Surewood), the nurse (Kiwi) and his father (Nikko Night) break out into a four-way set in the hospital. There's the usual oral and fingering followed by some pretty standard missionary penetration. Then Brian and Nikko take turns filling Brie's ass before showering her with jizz.

The doctor is obsessed by Evan's condition and takes it upon himself to find similar cases of any kind. After being laughed at and ridiculed by his colleagues, a tomboyish janitor (Cherie looking a bit like Gina Gershon in Bound) offers to help. She takes him to a strip club to meet Briana whose vagina has mind (and voice) of its own. Of course, this turns into a nice three-way set in a backstage dressing room. Cherie sucks away on Tony's cock while Briana tongues her from behind. Then while the girls are in a 69, Tony straddles Cherie's head and gives Briana some doggy action. Cherie eventually gets her turn, riding reverse cowgirl and taking some missionary before Tony pops on her tummy.

Tony eventually brings Evan and Briana together at his office so they (and their other halves) can get aquatinted. Briana tells Tony that her pussy first talked when she had sex for the first time...here comes another flashback. Briana starts by giving boyfriend Bobby Vitale a blowjob reminiscent of her Mirage/Gag Factor days. Surprisingly the two move right into some hard anal; first in reverse cowgirl and then doggy. This eventually gives way to some vaginal spooning after which Bobby pulls out and creams on her pussy. This action a mild comic response from her deflowered orifice. This is probably the movie's best scene thanks to the fast/hard pace and Briana and Bobby's enthusiasm.

After their first meeting, Evan heads over to Briana's trailer (yeah, she lives in a trailer park) for a little visit. Their brief encounter abruptly cuts into a hot sex scene set in an abandoned bus parked next to her trailer. Completely naked, Briana squats over Evan allowing him to lick and finger her before she returns the favor with some oral expertise of her own. The two then move onto a missionary setup before Briana bends over for some anal probing. Evan pulls out to cream her ass cheeks. The epilogue that follows is pretty long and features Evan's ass growing to gargantuan size which results in further conflict. It's nice to see the movie play out for a change instead of just stopping after the last sex scene.

Although Vivid is one of the industry's leading studios, their DVDs don't always reflect that fact. Chatter Box gets by better than most, but there's still room for improvement. The picture quality ranges from mediocre to above average. Fortunately most of the footage looks quite crisp and only exhibits some hints of pixelation. The audio is offered in 5.1 Dolby Digital surround and although it doesn't really benefit from this relatively high-end format, the sound is crisp and well mixed. In addition to the fake multi-angles, the disc is packed with lot of goodies even though most of them have nothing to do with the feature. However, there is a rather comprehensive behind the scenes featurette that runs for about 17 minutes. Briana fans will surely enjoy the two bonus scenes. The first one is from The Watcher #3 with Pat Myne and Bobby Vitale and the other one is from Flick with Eric Masterson while April watches. There's also a couple of other scenes (without Briana) as well as the usual photo gallery and trailers.

Chatter Box isn't a bad movie at all, but it lacks a certain cohesiveness (linking the narrative and sex scenes) which keeps it from reaching the next level. That said, the stab at humor is appreciated and the performances are great. While most actors would roll their eyes at such a role, Evan Stone dives right in and gives it 110%. Briana also pulls off what is probably one of most unique roles of her career and does so while producing hot and nasty performances in each of her three scenes, helping cement her position as Vivid's best contract girl in recent memory.