This Ain't Two And A Half Men XXX

Dr. Chauntelle does not use a rating system. Five stars is a default setting only.

I do not like Charlie Sheen.

In fact, I think he is an epic douche bag ...but not because of his habit of getting fucked up and beating on whatever variably "noteworthy" woman happens to be within range (come on ladies, let's stop hanging out with this guy!!), oh no. I think Charlie Sheen is an epic douche bag because he chooses and is permitted to do all that naked coke assaulting stuff.

Unlike the legions of others who have slaved away at The Abbey while hoping to land the lead in the next big Las Vegas Fashion Outlets commercial, Charlie Sheen had a Hollywood pedigree to give him a leg up. And although he may have been sagacious in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) and awwwesome in Navy Seals (1990), he pretty much sucks. And yet, this serial "Charlie" somehow works steadily, is not in jail, and always seems to have some hott chic around. I just don't get it...

...and I digress.

I do not like Charlie Sheen, but I love Hustler; and This Ain't Two And A Half Men XXX is a pretty solid poke at Two And A Half Men the show and at Charlie Sheen himself.
In this conveeeniently-timed film, bachelors Charlie (Evan Stone) and Alan (James Deen) have a silly misadventure akin to ordinary show happenings. Alan is distressed over his love life - or lack thereof - and is trying to hang himself with too much rope. It seems that Alan's ex-girlfriend (Jenna Presley) is now living with his ex-wife (Dylan Ryder).

With characteristic good timing, Charlie lets Alan know that he is now messing around with his/Alan's ex-girlfriend's mom (Madison Ivy) and therefore he can put in a good word. At one point Charlie's ex-girlfriend (Brooke Lee Adams) shows up with her new girlfriend (Jamey Janes). In order to make sure he's not upset (??) over their new relationship, the ladies offer Charlie a little consolation prize. Just like in real life, the women do seem to love Charlie!! Oh and as an added knot in this tangled romantic net, Alan's ex-girlfriend's father (Eric John) is now banging his/Alan's ex-wife...

(I feel like I should draw up some sort of food web to keep all of this straight!!)

This Ain't Two And A Half Men XXX is a good movie - a humorous take on a popular narrative that delivers five solid, "nothing crazy"-type sex scenes. This is not an earth-shattering flashy film; but that's because it's a well executed parody of a good, but fairly ordinary, sitcom.

*However* This Ain't Two And A Half Men XXX does feature Evan Stone. For me, his presence is the clear highlight of the film. In fact, Evan Stone is so funny in general that I'm gonna go ahead and say he is THE reason why porn parodies are so popular nowadays (you can read about that assertion here). His expressions, his utterly convincing sass, him on his hands and knees while Madison Ivy shaves his ass... these are the things dreams are made of!!

Recommended for: Two And A Half Men fans and those who appreciate the comedic genius that is Evan Stone.