MILFs Illustrated

I haven't been terribly kind to most of the releases from Lisa Ann Productions so far. I accept that. I was never a fan of Lisa Ann as a porn star, and while I think the talent is there to be an excellent director, she seems to want to put herself in just about every scene. I don't want to see that. I'd like to see the variety you have on offer. I reviewed Sexual Divas recently, and there are great scenes with Joslyn James and Kortney Kane in that one. But there are also three scenes with Lisa Ann. That's simply too much. With MILFs Illustrated, Lisa Ann seems to have gotten some of that message. She's only in the one scene she's booked for, and she lets the other stars do their thing. Unfortunately for me, the only one I was really excited to see was Veronica Avluv, and even this isn't the best scene of hers out there. While I appreciate that what I considered to be directorial deficiencies aren't present here, I just don't like the cast this time. Houston kind of scares me, and Mellanie Monroe's haircut makes her look like a Romulan. And not in a sexy way. Oh, and Devon's in this one, too. She wasn't my thing in her contract star days, and she's not now. You already know what I think of Lisa Ann, too. Devon's scene is mostly outdoors, which is a shame. It's just not a great one, though the tease bit takes place in a fantastic setting. I know that's someone's backyard, but it looks like a luxury resort. Amazing, that. This bit is all done in the shadows, which I don't like. I feel like it's too hard to see. We move fully into the shade for the sex part, which is okay with me. What's not okay is that this feels like an old 90s feature presentation, where there isn't any chemistry between the talent, as though they're performing separately for the camera. Just not much here I found to enjoy. Then I stopped paying attention for a bit, came back, and found them still doing the same shit in the same spot. Wow. This goes for a really long time, then. Eventually there's kind of a facial. There's another typical Lisa Ann scene from Lisa Ann.

I guess. I don't know. I simply don't like her. I thought she had a massive ego problem the first time I saw her in a film, and nothing that has happened in the interim tells me differently. Manuel can't save this scene, either. We do another poolside bit with Houston outside. How old is she these days? I can't explain why she scares me so much. I'm pretty sure it's the carnival lips. Lip work never needs to happen. Ever. She looks inflated. This one, with Erik Everhard, has all sorts of shadow lines all over it. And I hate to say it, but that might have been intentional. I put it on fast forward for a bit. The action wasn't any less scary at double speed. Scarier, in fact. Seriously, who told Mellanie Monroe that haircut was a good idea? That's creepy as hell.

It makes her look even older still. Not a good look on the bangs. Also, dude is about as delicate and sensitive as a weed whacker with his, well, everything in this scene. It's like he's trying to scrape out her insides when fingering her. Dude. Calm the fuck down. And then I get to look at Veronica for a bit. Mmm. Nice one, her. The scene she did with Dani Jensen a year or so ago tells you everything you need to know. Yes, she's one of the women I'd go work in the industry just to get to be with. Lovely stuff here. So that's what's going on. I think, if this is the quantity of Lisa we'll get in the future in Lisa Ann Productions, that's great. The cast mix here, however, just isn't to my liking. And I don't know about you, but one scene out of five that I like just isn't enough to get me to buy it.