Praise The Load 9

I pick on Mike John a bit too much. Mike's actually quite good, but it's the little things that get to me. Like the praying pose he's got Jennifer White in on the cover of Praise the Load 9. Why? What's the point? Is it to tweak the religious? (I'm not a Christian, but it still annoys me as deliberately provocative). Or is it that we're supposed to believe these women think of getting splattered on by men as a religious thing, something they should pray to? Because that's really fucking insulting. When I bitch and moan about being socially stupid in the porn industry, it's shit like this. Not that the film is otherwise bad by any means. Please let me be clear about that. I also had a bit of trouble getting the first disc of this two-disc set to play, so my apologies for the review only being the second half. What really bums me about that is the fact that Emma Snow is on the first disc, and holy fuck do I ever want to see a whole lot more of her. Sort of like how I'm promoting the one film Kelsey Ruthless has been in to everyone I meet because I think she's so great (see, told you I'd get a plug in as many reviews as possible), the word about Emma Snow needs to be spread. I mean, just look at her on the cover of this one: cute as can be. Me like. A lot. Oh, before I get going too far, there's absolutely no fucking reason for "Pristine faces taking filthy loads" to be in quotes on the cover. Who is saying it? We know that the text on here comes from someone behind the film anyhow. There's no bloody need for quotes! Make it into a game, in fact, in your everyday life: there are so many instances of unnecessary quotation marks out there in the world. In fact, I think I'm going to start removing them from everyone's keyboards. Just to stop them. Please don't be that person. Please. Right. For the record, there are only two scenes on this second disc, and that seems rather unacceptable to me. Like there was no need whatsoever for this to be a double-disc set, but they did it anyhow to stay at a pricepoint. Really? Because this could have been a very tight film with five scenes on one disc. Maybe that wasn't economically feasible with the cost of having to pay everyone to do this. I don't know what anyone's rate card looks like, so I'm just guessing. So yeah, I'm killing a bit of time at the moment, trying to get the first disc to play. I really want to see Emma. And Jennifer. I don't think I'm going to see either of them. Blah. You know, tomorrow's the start of the baseball season. And Ultra Miami 2014 wraps up tonight. I'll be busy.

Maybe that will help me get over the fact that I'm not going to get to watch the rest of this film. Well, call it a good try, folks. In fact, I know aside from some potential awkwardness for the talent-blowbang scenes can get rather disjointed-this will probably be a good film. Assuming the guys aren't too weird. There's a habit for the guys in blowbangs to be, well, odd. I hope a non-review of Praise the Load 9 helps you. Please stay away from quotation marks. I like Emma. That is all.