MILFS Like It Big Vol. 17

I had to do quite a bit to convince MILFs Like it Big 17 to play on my DVD player. There was hitting pause, then play, then getting a black screen for no reason whatsoever. I have no idea. Maybe it was hesitant to get involved with another film starring Lisa Ann. I generally am. Her films released through Jules Jordan have this odd habit of Lisa Ann mugging for the camera in every scene, especially around the cumshot. Always has to get her face in there. I'm afraid of how her scene is going to go. To be fair, she's never done it for me. Something in her personality, a kind of perceived arrogance, really bothers me. Eventually, in the middle of that top paragraph up there, the disc finished sputtering its way through the condom PSA in the opening-thank you for that, by the way. Be safe, everyone. The main screen came up, and holy crap is that music irritating. I mean, it's like that guy you know who was always in bands in high school is now in his 40s and rather than making melodies, he still enjoys just hammering noise with a guitar. That's this. As for the film, what the hell is up for the "i" in Big? It looks more like a dog treat than a dick. Are those supposed to be testicles on the bottom? Because it's one end of a dental bone to me. Also, the image in the center of the front of the box in red is the kind of thing I find massively irritating: oh my god, your dick is huge! No one looks like that. Ever. For anything. And I say that as someone well endowed. It isn't a great deal of time after the pants come off that the surprise suddenly kicks in. Why can't porn try harder to have behaviour actually resemble what humans do? Brazzers does have a few irritating habits, and they are on display yet again in this film. That includes a massively irritating man right in the opening spray painting. Poorly. Any halfway-decent tagger would point out that you shouldn't get dripping like that if you fucking do it right. And their half-plots in these vignette films are beyond grating. The men are obnoxious and unrealistic. The women are almost
robotic. The scenarios they set out there are simply stupid as well. It's as though the writer just has a few drinks, thinks about how to be a prick, and then sets some obnoxious fingers to a keyboard. Why the hell can't they act the way humans do? Honestly, it's not that hard. Ava Addams and Lisa Ann go first on our guy who is using spray paint for no apparent reason. They do take quite a bit of time out from actually doing things and enjoying themselves to make honking noises no normal person makes. My new partner is a screamer, too, and she doesn't make these massively unrealistic sounds. This is honking. Julia Ann and Mandy Sky are up next. There's a tedious shower scene with Julia Ann that just did nothing for me, and then this is the one that officially has anal.

Some girl rimming, too, but very unusually for Brazzers, it's actually generally pretty terribly shot. I do like Mandy Sky quite a bit, and her taking it up the ass is a pleasure to watch. But this should have been better than it was. It's also annoying that we have to deal with the semi-incestual setup of Julia Ann being Mandy Sky's stepmother. Ugh. Rebecca Moore was really quite nice to watch, and Brandi Love wasn't bad, either. But the plot bits just kept me from enjoying myself as much as I should have. Ultimately, if you can handle a crap plot around your porn, especially tediously long introductory bits, then you'll probably be alright with MILFs Like it Big 17. Even with the dumb name. And oddly not perfect technical elements. And terrible music. Hell, just watch a clip or two or the trailer or something. You'll know if you want it. I just didn't want to put up with it anymore.

Rebecca and Danny were absolutely fabulous in their comic scene. Watched it many times. Rebecca is always full of surprises.
Julia Ann was compelling in her effort to do a little teaching. I never get tire of watching her perform.
Lisa and Ava do an awesome job of punishing the vandal - a new form of capital punishment?
But my hat is off to Ariella who gives her best sexual performance yet. Her dirty talk, her insistence that he not stop and her shaking legs were top notch.