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Only the Best of Blondes

Cal Vista | 2002

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Based on 1 Review.
Categories:  Appearance, Blondes, Compilation





Starring:  April Flowers 

Starring:  Briana Banks 


Starring:  Hannah Harper 

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Member Reviews

If Only...

By Oranje
All right, I have to ask. What in the fuck was that opening sequence here on this disc? Seriously... when you get it in the mail, check out the studio trailer in the opening and try to make some sense of it. It looks like an amalgam of bad movies from the sci-fi channel with the semi-subliminal message that "Metro Makes Great Movies". And not one bit of skin in the whole thing.

Right. Blondes, then. Not my thing, really, but let's see where this goes. The first scene is a tad frightening, as motif porn usually winds up as poor. So is the case here, with a 70's theme. They purposely dulled the color on the production, and I know Steve Hatcher has been at this for awhile, but this seems ridiculous. I couldn't put myself through it and hit the fast-forward.

Second up is an average scene with Houston. It's outdoors, so the lighting is good. If you're a fan of Houston, you'll probably enjoy it. If not, well, then this is probably average at best to you. The guy's a bit heavy, and Houston's face is starting to scare me when she has too much makeup on. One hell of a facial at the end, though.

I think it was Sunrise Adams in the third scene. Evan Stone was in there as well. But the scene was so dark, and the quality of the film so grainy, that it was tough to figure out who had what where. This is a shame, really, as Sunrise is one of the cutest, freshest faces to come through porn in some time. Check her out for some rather nice action.

Two very hot blondes in the next, very bright scene. They work on each other and the eager dude sitting there. The only major complaint is the ADD problem of the director, as there are far too many angle and camera shot changes here to get into any kind of rhythm. Surely this could have been done better, especially with the ladies in question. Despite all of the tits and ass on display, I still hit the fast-forward. A weak facial finishes the scene.

I like the girl in the fifth scene, though they didn't use her body as well as they could have here. She seems quite tall, quite lithe, but they have her laying down most of the time. A body like that should be sitting or standing to appreciate everything. Picky picky, I know, but it's true. So it's decent action, then, but nothing much about which you should consider writing home. She even lays down for the facial, a tremendous disappointment. Directorial errors ruin this one.

Forget the sixth scene. It's a kind of nightclub thing, but all of the flashing lights and squinting to make out bodies might give you seizures. Rather a shame, as Mark Davis and Briana Banks are both highly talented.

A decent looking blonde is up next, though nothing special from what I can tell. She is quite flexible, I can give her that. There's a huge facial on the end of it, and that earns points, but it's a bit pale.

Nice scene next. Again, I can't tell which blonde is which (a fatal flaw, no doubt), but she's a gorgeous thing, great body, and looks quite sweet. Very firm breasts on her, too. She does her best work in the reverse cowgirl position, the director not doing much with the other positions for watchability. The cumshot was a bit hard to find, sadly, as it was through some oral work. Rather tame, but a decent enough way to wrap up the disc.

Because, really, that's all you get here. The packaging is slick, the cast list is promising, but the results are still a mediocre compilation. It's a bit like sports, for those that care for such metaphors. You can have superstars all over the place, but unless the coach/director gets things orgranized, you won't win anything, losing to teams with less talent but better teamwork. In porn, that means cute girls shot at good angles doing nasty things. That was all missing here. And I can't walk away from this disc without feeling that I somehow lost.


Product Information

Synopsis:

We're here to prove that blonde's really do have more fun. Join us for two hours of the steamiest sexiest blonde action we could find, hand picked from your favorite Cal-Vista scenes! WE PROMISE TO BRING YOU ONLY THE BEST! Guaranteed!

Running Time:
1 hrs. 48 mins.
Release Year:
2002
Released:
Dec 23 2002
Starring:
April Flowers, Briana Banks, Claudia Chase, Hannah Harper, Houston, Mikki Taylor, Nina Ferrari, Stacy Valentine, Sunrise Adams, Joel Lawrence, Mark Davis, Mark Wood, Steve Hatcher, Tom Byron, Tyce Bune