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Teens Goin' Wild 5

Visual Images | 2002

They're Best When They're Fresh!

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Based on 1 Review.
Director:  Mark Wood
Categories:  18+ Teens, Gonzo, Redheads

Starring:  Buffy Sinclair 

Starring:  Darren James  Jamie Woods 

Starring:  Mark Wood  Valoria Rose 

Starring:  Mark Wood  Angelina Joy 


Recommendations

Member Reviews

By-the-Numbers Sex

By Cain
The "Teens Goin' Wild 5" disc includes a menu option for sub-chapters. I didn't bother to look at it right away; I just watched the movie. Afterwards, I took a look, and it seemed surprisingly anemic. For each scene, you can shoot directly to the oral portion, the straight portion, or the cumshot; Scene 2 adds the additional option of going to the anal segment. It was the blanket "Straight" category that surprised me. This is one of those films that plays as if sub-chapters were planned all along. Each scene hits a series of well-defined positions, as if each was a draw in and of itself. I expected sub-chapters for the cowgirl and reverse-cowgirl positions at the very least, with a side-by-side fucking option a definite possibility, as well.

"Teens Goin' Wild 5", as directed by Mark Wood (who also performs in most of the scenes), is so terribly artificial that three of the scenes are virtually identical, only with a different girl getting plugged in each. The other two aren't so very different, either, despite the anal sequence in one and the addition of a second guy (Darren James) in the other. No doubt this is why the film seems to get progressively worse after the first scene and doesn't improve until the fourth, and then only because the girl, Michele Marcelle, is genuinely cute.

It's really up to the girls to save a movie like this, made by an unimaginative amateur like Wood. And that's asking a lot of girls who are themselves amateurs. Well, one thing they all have in common is a willingness to perform. If only that were enough. Jamie Woods, a 19-year-old from England, tries to make an impression and succeeds, I think, even if the impression isn't quite what she was going for. If you've ever wanted to hear an English girl dirty talking, here's your chance. Perhaps, like Mark Wood, you'll find expressions like "dirt box" (referring to the rectum) amusing. Perhaps you'll enjoy the endless stream of "fuck my ass" talk. Or maybe, like me, you'll come away from the experience thinking Jamie is one trashy broad.

The girls who do it straight are the least objectionable. Eighteen-year-old Michelle Christian begins her threeway scene with some embarrassingly childish behavior, for example, while the other three girls, who only have one guy and no anal to think about come off as more mature and camera-ready. (That is, unless Valoria Rose's southern, Alabamian accent seems a bit too broad for the movies.)

As mentioned, the standout performer here is Michele Marcelle. She doesn't do it any better than the other girls, but she looks better doing it and that counts for a lot. Take a look at the boxcover for this film; all the girls look better on the cover than in the film except Michele (she's the redhead), who looks better on screen. One of the problems with amateur porn, even the stuff that tries to improve on the sexual content, is that the attractiveness of the girls is too often below the professional average. All things being equal (and the scenes in this film are nothing if not equal), you can take any scene and the prettier the girl the better it will be. Which explains why Valoria's scene is less interesting even that Jamie's.

Even Wood seems to realize this on some level. His insistence on repetitive, by-the-numbers sex isn't quite so apparent in his scene with Michele. Oh, he still touches most the usual positional bases, but he mixes in a face-fucking segment and even screws her standing up with her legs wrapped around his waist. This scene doesn't have quite the scripted feel the others have.

In addition to the sub-chapters menu, this disc includes a photo gallery, bios of all the girls, and a Behind the Scenes short that reveals how little really goes on behind the scenes of a film like this one. The short includes a scene with Wood, his cameraman, and a "talent agent" waiting around for one of the girls to show up. Wood jokes about the fact that the only thing missing from his behind the scenes film is a girl. Though the girls show up eventually, Wood might better have worried about whether an audience would.


Product Information

They're Best When They're Fresh!

Running Time:
1 hrs. 53 mins.
Release Year:
2002
Released:
Dec 26 2002
Starring:
Francesca Le, Mark Wood, Darren James, Michelle Christian, Jamie Woods, Buffy Sinclair, Angelina Joy, Valoria Rose, Michele Marcele