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Shagnet

Legend | 2001

It's the Summer of 70, and These Sexy Women Shag their Way into History.

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Based on 1 Review.
Director:  Cash Markman

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Starring:  Bridgette Kerkove  Alec Metro 

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Starring:  Elizabeth X  Mike Horner 

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Starring:  Jewel De'Nyle  Evan Stone 

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Starring:  Angelica Sin  Steve Austin 

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Starring:  Kate Frost  Anthony Crane 

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Member Reviews

Just the Fucks, Ma'am.

By Joe Blow
SHAGNET, a 2001 production from Legend studios and directed by Cash Markman, is an amusing take-off on the classic television show "Dragnet", made famous by its now ironic portrayal of L.A. police detectives as stodgy, uptight, and stoic do-gooders hopelessly out of date with the social changes around them.

Unfortunately, while I did find the comical "Dragnet"-esque dialogue amusing, the sex scenes left me underwhelmed. Set in 1970, Steve Austin and Anthony Crane star as the "Sgt. Joe Thursday" (get it?) and Officer Blannon, respectively, out to crack down on the fledgling adult film industry in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley. As their supervisor warns, nearly a dozen adult films were produced in the valley the prior year. If something isn't done about it, "By 2001 there could be as many as 50 of these films made a year!" (Insert ironic, appreciative chuckle here.) For those who actually watch an adult film straight through, SHAGNET does feature many funny lines about adult film production in the valley delivered in that clipped "Dragnet" patter.

With their assignment understood, Thursday and Blannon hop in the squad car and head towards the den of perversion hiding among the tract homes and migrant farm workers. Their first stop is at the home of an uptight suburban couple, Mike Horner and sexy Elizabeth X, wearing her best Peg Bundy hairdo, who have complained about noise coming from next door. Thursday and Blannon investigate and find Cash Markman directing a porn film starring busty Bridgette Kerkove.

Bridgette and her partner quickly shed their 1970's hippy attire (complete with bellbottoms, bold prints and big, hippy flowers) and get down to business. The two trade off oral favors, with Bridget getting some prolonged licking of her shaved pussy. Bridget gets a good, prolonged pounding in various positions, particularly up her rear, and accepts a load of penile flower power on her behind. Bridgette generally looks decent here but her obviously science-enhanced mammaries look somewhat misshapen when she is on her back.

Sexually excited by inexplicably watching the officer's investigation on television, Mike and Elizabeth engage in some carnality of their own. Elizabeth, a very attractive redhead with a firm, busty, pale physique, makes lots of fun noises as Mike vigorously licks and fingers her before she lets her hair down for some pole sucking. The two retire to the couch for some missionary action with Mike ultimately releasing on Elizabeth's ample, manmade knockers.

Hamstrung by a lack of well-defined pornography laws, Thursday and Blannon nonetheless continue to annoy the prolific Mr. Markman. They return to his house to spy on another scene featuring Evan Stone and Jewel De'Nyle, as a "war protester" and the "governor's wife". Evan and Jewel trade off the standard oral favors before Evan bends her over for some nice insertion from behind, some missionary and a deposit of testicular bong water on her sizeable bosoms.

Hilarity ensues when the two cops comically "disguise" themselves as homely, female porn actresses to gain access to the mansion and Sgt. Thursday is quickly cast in a scene opposite Angelica Sin. Angelica is surprisingly unperturbed about finding a big cock beneath Thursday's dress and carries on with the scene giving him a nice, sloppy BJ to completion in her waiting mouth.

Back at the police station, Thursday and Blannon have brought in trim, redheaded Kate Frost for questioning about her connection to the carnal happenings at the mansion. However, it doesn't take much encouragement for Kate to turn the tables and seduce Blannon, who resembles Paul Ruebens, right there in the interrogation room. With the exception of a large, unsightly tattoo on her lower back, Kate is a real cutie, with a fair complexion and trim, all-natural figure. The two trade off some 69 action and bang on the interrogation table before Thursday comes in to break up the fun.

Finally, armed with a new state law and a warrant, Thursday and Blannon return to the valley to shut down the adult film business for good and make America safe for morality and apple pie again.

All in all, SHAGNET is a fairly amusing porno romp which stays true to its theme with fun attention to detail in costuming and set design. Lighting and direction are competent but the sound levels were somewhat low and muffled. Cash Markman's writing is snappy and entertaining (as adult films go) and even the insipid Ron Jeremy manages to pull off an entertaining cameo.

Unfortunately, it is only the routine, uninspired sex scenes which keep SHAGNET from being a home run. Although some anal action and a facial are thrown in the mix and the ladies are fairly attractive, I found the sex scenes to be rather by-the-numbers and lacking creative and sexual energy. There is certainly nothing sex-wise in SHAGNET that you haven't seen before (or won't see again). Amazingly enough, the comic dialogue almost upstages the pedestrian sexual action.

Minimal extras include a photo gallery, plentiful chapter stops, comical (or insulting) star biographies and a behind-the-scenes featurette (for those of you who must see Jewel eating a corned beef sandwich before she gets fucked doggy style).

Bottom line, SHAGNET is good for a few laughs, but it is too bad more energy didn't go into the sex scenes rather than the witty banter.

Product Information

It's the Summer of 70, and These Sexy Women Shag their Way into History.

Running Time:
1 hrs. 19 mins.
Release Year:
2001
Released:
Sep 25 2002
Starring:
Angelica Sin, Bridgette Kerkove, Elizabeth X, Jewel De'Nyle, Kate Frost, Alec Metro, Anthony Crane, Cash Markman, Evan Stone, Frank Bukkwyd, Frank Towers, Mike Horner, Ron Jeremy, Steve Austin