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Amber Lynn's Bedtime Stories

Horizon | 1999

Guess Who's Back!

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Based on 1 Review.
Categories:  Anal, Classic, Compilation

Starring:  Gina Adorabella 

Starring:  Jacklyn Lick 

Starring:  Misty Dawn 

Starring:  Veronica Suara 

Starring:  Cheyenne Hardy 

Starring:  Amber Lynn 

Recommendations

Member Reviews

Is it bedtime for Amber?

By The Ice
After the "cumbacks" of Starlets of Yore like Ginger Lynn and Marilyn Chambers, I guess it's no surprise that Amber Lynn (the other famous Lynn of the '80s, along with Porsche and, to a lesser degree, Dana) would put her pussy up for sale again too. Amber occupies a very special place in my porn education: the first skin flick I ever saw was a compilation tape of Ginger Lynn scenes, and the Sapphic coupling of Ginger and Amber that was on that tape sent me through the roof. Amber was always and ardent sexer back then, and now, from what I gather, she's trying to raise the bar a bit for herself, even taking it up the ass a couple of times.

That's all well and good - I always wanted to see Amber's luscious, prim-and-proper butt get plowed - but truth be told, she honestly hasn't aged as well as Ginger and Marilyn. I know folks have given those two a kind of hard time over their looks now, but to me, they're look good for their respective ages. Hey, they're human, even if they're supposed to embody all of our fantasies. But in "Amber Lynn's Bedtime Stories", her latest XXX effort, Amber just doesn't look very natural. It pains me to admit it, since her hard-bodied, tanned, delectable curves were prime jerk-off fodder back in the day.

"Amber Lynn's Bedtime Stories" is straightforward, contemporary gonzo: six scenes, no interwoven narrative. What might make this title potentially more interesting than most depends on your desire to see some "classic" stars like Sasha Gabor (a Burt Reynolds look-alike back in his prime), Laurie Holmes (wife of the late John C. Holmes), and, yup, Amber putting their well-used organs to use. None of the scenes are spectacular, but some of them are at least dependably solid smut.

Amber and Steve Austin are your hosts for the stories, and they sit on a living room sofa real friendly-like to fill you in on what you're about to see. Amber claims that what separates this series from most is that, unlike most pornos where it's all about the guys, in this case the girls are starting up all the sexing. Hmmm, I don't know how revolutionary or unique that is. But I will say that I was shocked when Sasha Gabor popped up for the first scene. Man, I didn't know that dude was still around! Anyway, tattooed brunette Gina Adorabella is eager for some fucking on his living room sofa. To prove his studliness, he chucks his bottle of Viagra. What a man! He fingers her ass as she blows his shaft heartily. After a tit-fuck and some pussy munching, he pounds her doggy, missionary and reverse cowgirl style before she finishes him off with a blowjob. It's here, though, that Sasha's age gets the better of him: his cum blast is weak. It kind of dribbles down the front of his cock, and that's that. Should have gone for those blue pills, guy.

Svelte Jacklyn Lick is next, in what's dubbed as a farewell performance. I like Jacklyn, but this was a pretty tepid going away, I must say. Also, she's paired with the Hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy. I don't have the R.J. hate-on that a lot of folks have, but sometimes his goofiness is just too distracting. And that's the case here. After some perfunctory tit and pussy rubbing and eating, Jacklyn blows Jeremy's johnson, then takes it missionary and doggy style before he spunks on her belly.

Then, tiny-titted Laurie Holmes takes on Sasha on her living room couch. Laurie looks good for her age: natural bodied, obviously not a surgery-enhanced look, and she's fit. In addition, she's a pretty torrid lay, and ends up making this scene one of the best ones on the disc. Sasha fingers her pussy, and then she masturbates and sucks him greedily. He fingers her ass before ramming her cunt doggy and reverse cowgirl style. Still, it's buttfucking he wants, and that's exactly what he gets next: some robust reverse cowgirl, doggy, missionary and spoon anal, before he cums inside her ass and the love lotion dribbles out of her well-fucked anus. Nasty, but pretty hot stuff, kids!

Ron Jeremy and buxom Italian slutlet Veronica Suara get it on in a bedroom set-up. Veronica's a relatively vivacious performer, but she just didn't do much for my tastes personally. Anyway, she strips for Ron before he fingers and eats her snatch. She blows him, then takes him in multiple positions before he drops a load on her body and belly.

Sasha returns once again (I figure he didn't really toss all that Viagra after all) in an office to boff his secretary, played by blonde pixie Cheyenne Hardy. She's got a pert pair of natural tits and a kinda cute doll-like look, but she's no wanton temptress like, say, Gauge. Still, this is the other standout scene: she blows the white-haired older man before he eats and fingers her pussy and ass. Some reverse cowgirl and cowgirl action follow, and then he doggies her ass in a solid bit of sodomy. She blows him to a finish, and I guess he kinda cums in her mouth, with what little jizz he's producing in his ball sacks. Cheyenne dribbles a smidgen of it.

Capping things off is the headlining duo of Amber and Steve. It's a decent scene, and Amber still sucks like there's no tomorrow, but still...she's not the fantasy girl she once was. After a vivacious cocksucking and handjob, Steve eats her pussy and slips it to her cowgirl and missionary style before she sends him off with a BJ and handjob that ends with a healthy dose of living-giving sperm on her tummy.

All in all, this is a decent title, nothing more. It's certainly not a cumback worth praising to the stars, as much as I might want it to be. Even so, this disc isn't too shabby. In fact, its extras are more plentiful than the ones on some of the higher-end or more highly regarded titles. There's a photo gallery, 6 previews, and 20 bonus fuck scenes. If you wanna see Amber get boffed, in any way, shape, state, or age, then you'll probably be a happy camper. But the rest of you, well, you may wanna continue to support your current favorite starlets, and just enjoy 'em while you can.

Product Information

Guess Who's Back!

Running Time:
1 hrs. 25 mins.
Release Year:
1999
Released:
Jun 19 2001
Starring:
Alexis Arquette, Amber Lynn, Cheyenne Hardy, Gina Adorabella, Jacklyn Lick, Misty Dawn, Veronica Suara, Ron Jeremy, Sasha Gabor, Steve Austin