Texas Dildo Masquerade

Anus, Texas is the site of a group of horrific rituals practiced at an old graveyard. Seems some sick
twisted soul has loaded the local boneyard with a bunch of bones. These aren't your average and marrow
type. These are far more sinister. Bones molded after HUMAN erect penises!!! Shoved in every orifice of the
various blow-up dolls scattered about. The site, now under 24 hour guard, has become somewhat of a tourist
attraction. Cum see what Director Jim Powers has for you in store in this wonderfully chilling flick!
A spoof of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I could have sworn this one used to be called The
Texas Dildo Masquerade. Nowhere on the case or disc does it say that, but I'm positive that's what I have seen it
called in the past. Let's not nitpick, though. It's all a matter of semantics, as this one is certainly filled with every
size, shape, and variety of dildo one can imagine!
The story goes like this. Tabitha and her wheelchair bound brother Ron Jeremy, head over to the graveyard to
be sure that ol' Granpappy's grave hasn't been desecrated. They pack up a van with a load of their friends, and
head off to the cemetery. It's a long ways away, and in the middle of hickville. The locals, well, they ain't too
bright, and most of them work, or had worked in the old plastics factory on the hill. Tabitha's uncle owned the
place, and their specialty was making dildos. Some of the locals have taken up the art, but prefer to do the
dipping, and molding by hand. The fumes from that practice have left these folks a bit short in the smarts
department, and the actors do a hell of a job portraying these I.Q. challenged weirdoes.
Ten minutes into the film, our group picks up a hitchhiker (Hardman) who is just plain whacked! He proceeds to
explain his love of dildos, and starts whacking off in the back of the van to show how he primes his pecker for the
molding process. Candy Apples likes what she sees, and after receiving the OK from her fiancé, starts in on a
ferociously good blow job. Jeremy eases his wheelchair forward, plops out, and starts to work on Apples from the
rear. Candy has a beautifully bald pussy, and it is tended to very nicely. The scene includes anal and DP, and
ends with Candy getting coated with a creamy glaze, thanks to our big dicked donators.
The group ends up out of gas at the old man's boarded up shack that has been unattended since his death.
They had attempted to get some petrol from Jonathan Morgan, but the delivery hadn't cum, so they needed to
spend the night!!! Being hot as hell, the group decides to go to the swimming hole, and Apples and fiancé are the
first to venture off alone. You know what that means! Sure enough, they're caught by the hideous Pussyface,
and while Apples is getting violated by a dildo on the end of a chainsaw, her guy pal is locked in a closet. She
eventually ends up loving the treatment she gets, and looks just fabulous with all that plastic jutting out of her!
Meanwhile, their pals realize they've been gone way too long, and end up falling into the same trap at the
house. A three-way with Mila occurs, that will either knock your nuts off, or cause you to shut the DVD! She
speaks throughout the scene in an awful, demonic voice that borders on the ridiculous. If you can get over this,
(or use the mute!), you'll be treated to awesome deep throating, face pounding, ass cramming and a bountiful
load of DP. DP with dicks and dildos. The scene ends with Mila bowing bubbles with the jizz she has just accepted,
and this turns out to be one scorcher of a scene.
Tabitha finally gets into the action after she's chased by Pussyface into the waiting arms of crazy Jonathan
Morgan. This is a wonderful scene that includes some furious pounding, and some nice reverse straddle screwing.
A bizarre scene brings us close to the end where two zombies have sex with Tabitha watching. Seems Morgan
double crossed her and delivered her right to the home of Pussyface. I think it's supposed to be her friends who
were zombified, and they have some anal, and generally good sex, though the makeup was a turn off. A big load
of jizz drops on our lady friends face, right onto a simulated, huge wart!
The film ends with Tabitha running from the scene, but not after having a massive orgy with everyone in the
cast involved (sans Jeremy), with tons, and tons of toys!!!! Super Hawk provided the toys for this one, and it
must have depleted their inventory!!! This was one of the most enthusiastic and bone producing orgies I have
seen, only to be marred by some awful pixelation! The sex was scorching, and spit, cum, pussy juice, you name it,
were flying. You'll see one of the girls (Mila?) squirt a load of pussy juice during her orgasm. Tremendous!!!

The DVD version of Texas Masquerade, a very funny, sexy Jim Powers feature (maybe his best) which was nominated for several AVN Awards, comes titled differently, but still packaged with that beautiful shot of Tabitha Stevens on the cover. Inside, it's the same sexual satire with crisp video quality, lots of outdoor footage and some heated sex, notably some double vaginal penetration and several sweaty anal sequences.

Dave Hardman won the AVN Award for Best Supporting Actor, and any feature depicting Ron Jeremy getting chainsawed up the ass is worth stocking. The menu extras include a little room where you can access footage of European babes, previews, Net access, the ability to watch the sexvid in Hungarian or French, previews and more.