Porno Chick

Have you ever thought to yourself, hey, wouldn't it be great if a porn movie actually had a story? Wouldn't it be even bettter if that movie was a hilarious comedy? Well, "Porno Chick" doesn't deliver on that end, but it does have some pretty good sex in it.

THE STORY

Briana Banks plays a addict/alcoholic porn actress. She is delivered to the house of one of the managers of a porn shoot, who is supposed to clean her up and make sure she's to the set on time. When Briana gets there, she throws a tantrum, and rather than sobering her up, the manager goes out and gets her champagne and pills. Of course Briana pops the whole bottle, and boom - dead porn actress.

The manager freaks out, worrying that he will be accused of murdering the starlet. His assistant convinces him to bring her to the set, where they can stage her death by rolling her car off a cliff nearby. Unfortunately one of the actors finds her and carries her in, then she gets whisked off to a party at Ron Jeremy's, and then they finally just leave her at a bus stop to be found by someone else. Funny? No.

Although the movie itself isn't funny, there are moments in the film so strange that they are funny. For instance, when Brianna is originally found dead, they show a long dramatic shot of her dead body. If you watch close, Briana blinks. Now that'
s funny.

THE SEX

First of all, all the women in this film look exacty the same. They're all the porn stereotype (not that that's bad!), bleached blonde, big tits, tan, etc. If you're a fan of brunettes, this isn't the movie for you.

Scene 1

Dolly Golden plays a porn actress on the set. She fucks two guys at once. This scene was the most disappointing in the film. Although there was nothing particularly wrong with it, there wasn't any real enthusiasm. In any case, Dolly takes on the two studs, usually sucking one of them off while the other fucks her doggy style. They finish off with some double penetration before Dolly takes their simultaneous cumshots on her face.

Scene 2

While the porno manager goes off to buy alcohol for Briana, she decides she's horny and fucks the manager's assistant. This was the best scene in the film. Briana was the most natural looking woman in the film, and was very enthusiastic. Her squeaks and giggles were enough to get me going. In the end Briana takes his load in her mouth, but spits it all out.

Scene 3

The now dead Briana is at Ron Jeremy's house for a party. I think much of this scene was meant to be funny, but without overdubbing, all you could hear was everyone talking at once. Although no one actually fucks Briana while she is dead, Ron and a few of his guests briefly try to eat her out. Ron remarks on how wet she is - I don't even wanna know what fluid would make her wet after she had been dead for most of the day.

Anyway, once Briana and the manager leave, Ron takes on the two blondes at the party - Nikki Lynn and Alana Evans. This scene is pretty good, except for Ron's running comentary on the action. Yes Ron, we're all still impressed you can get it up. We don't need to see it anymore. With his trademark countdown, Ron shoots a huge load all over the two girls.

Scene 4

The porno producer takes on Allysin Embers. This also was a good scene, as Allysin has a great body and was very enthusiastic about her work. She gives a good long blowjob before taking it doggy style and up the ass, and finally takes his shot on her chin.

And we come to the finale, with Briana on the bus bench. No sex here, but oddly the image is reversed (perhaps to avoid lawsuits by all the businesses in the shot?)

FEATURES

I gave the special features here an above average rating because of the nicely designed interface and because of all the goodies they packed in. There is a "meet the cast" section, a solo scene featuring each of the girls in the film (better than some of the regular scenes), a behind the scenes reel, and even some previews for other movies.

VIDEO/AUDIO

Video and audio on this film was good and gave me no problems.

SUMMARY

In summary, this film is mostly your standard porno fare. Don't pick up this disc for the comedy, but do pick it up for the busty blondes. You won't be disappointed.