Centerfold (SinCity)

One would think that any movie featuring the voluptuous Holly Body couldn't miss. And indeed, the work of all of the stars is excellent here, but Centerfold still comes up short in several major categories.

First things first...Nici Sterling, Sid Deuce, Kelly Jaye, Tabitha, and Holly Body all perform adequately well in this feature. No one sticks out as majorly sucking (erm, in the bad way). The disappointment starts with the fact that despite what seems like some pretty hot action, we can't see much of anything. When there are camera angles that actually show something halfway decent, we get a quick cut to the guy for no apparent reason. Ugh.

It seems that the locales they chose were specially for difficulty in shooting. A staircase, a pool, in front of a fireplace; all have such major drawbacks that they rendered the scenes virtually meaningless.

If you use the chapter button instead of play movie to start Centerfold, you'll pop right into the penetration scene for Holly Body. All of the preliminary scenes, including Holly working out, Holly jogging, Holly getting snacked on, and Holly giving head...all gone. Just straight to a poorly shot doggy style on a stairs. And will someone please turn some lights on?!

Holly and (I think) Tabitha have what should be an excellent pool side scene featuring two decent looking girls. Aside from Buck Adams' boring comments to introduce each scene, the camera operator seems hell-bent on giving the viewer vertigo. Just let us watch the women. Please.

And watching is tough. There's plenty of breast attention on both of the gals, but the licking gets a bit tricky. Holly pulls her counterpart out of the water and plays hide the tongue. Problem is, all of that chlorine seems to go right into her eyes, and she has to stop every few seconds to wipe her face. Not exactly something that should be making anyone moan, let alone a viewer. They fade away blowing us a kiss...very contrived. Couldn't they just drop the camera in the water and let us pretend we had drowned, well out of this misery?

It was about time Nici Sterling showed up, being on the cover and all. So she's in a relatively dark room, and semi-sensually does a brief strip tease. Nothing to get you excited, really, as we still have Buck running his mouth about everything.

The scene isn't particularly hot, either. Smug looking guy, looking girl, doing the standard lick, suck, fuck. Not that we can see again, mind you. Between the lights and the camera operator working from New Jersey (helluva zoom, I guess), most of the action will remain in the minds (and bodies) of the stars.

Features aren't heavy here, but at least Sin City doesn't bore us to death with poorly produced phone sex ads like they're prone to. No lockout on the menu button to avoid messages no one cares about. There's digital surround sound, for those of you that are interested in knowing what fucking sounds like if it were in Armageddon. There isn't regional coding, so you can, for example, bore your friend in Benin to death with this one. But you probably want to keep your friends. Oh, and there are previews of some of Sin City's forthcoming releases, all of which have to be better.

I'm normally a fan of Sin City, which is why this one surprised (and annoyed) me so much. Some of their more recent productions are far better than this offering, well worth checking out instead. Try Hi Infidelity (with the gorgeous Jessica Drake) or Behind the Counter (Taylor St. Clair) for something better.