Whore of the Rings 2

Why the guys over at Heatwave decided to release Whore of the Rings 2 on DVD without first (or simultaneously) releasing Whore of the Rings 1 is anyone's guess (it's available on VHS if you really, really want to see it). But after watching Whore of the Rings 2, maybe it's best that I didn't see the first one. In short, this is not a very exciting porn flick. It's basically a good idea that isn't taken full advantage of.

Whore of the Rings 2 is actually entitled "The Two Dildos", but I'm guessing if they had just put that on the box cover, not a lot of customers would immediately figure out what film they were making a parody of (I'm guessing the next volume will be called "The Sperm of the King" or something like that!). The premise of the film is that there are two magical dildos...one in the possession of the evil queen Spewon (played by Bridgette Kerkove) and the other discovered by Katie Morgan who is looking to destroy the dildo before it gets in the hands of Bridgette.

One of the problems here is that the male and female talent's characters are sometimes inundated with so much makeup, that it is hard to figure out who's who. However, I'm going to take a guess and say it's Brian Surewood and Anthony Hardwood making out with Bridgette in the movie's opening scene. Bridgette starts off the segment by double penetrating herself with a pair of dildos, and then gets both a DP and double anal from the guys once they get involved in the action. The scene concludes with a pair of facials for Ms. Kerkove.

The best scene in the movie is the second one, as Avy Scott gets it on with Johnny Thrust. Johnny is playing a king, and I believe Avy is either the queen or just a girlfriend, who drains all the energy out of Johnny by having sex with him. Avy looks absolutely fantastic in this scene, and while overall the title may not be worth your hard-earned porn dollar, it might be worth a rental just to see Avy in action.

We are finally introduced to Katie Morgan's character, who finds the other dildo and runs into a Gollum-like creature who has a Pinocchio-length penis where his nose should be. The two make out, and while I was hoping that "Gollum" would follow his nose right into Katie's pussy, he actually uses his real cock in this scene - although using the prosthetic would have been much more humorous.

Katie gets assaulted by a couple of Ring Wraiths (actually, I guess they would be Dildo Wraiths!) played by Velvet Rose and Brandi Lyons, but before they can get the dildo off of her, Ben English comes to the rescue. Katie escapes, but Ben has to suffer the sexual advances of these two girls in a threesome scene (yeah, it sucks, doesn't it?!).

And if some of the couplings weren't odd enough in this film, the next to last scene has Katie running into a talking tree ("How'd you like it if somebody picked your apples?!"...sorry, wrong movie!) and winds up giving him a blowjob...except she isn't sucking the actor's real dick, but a long (very long!) piece of wood protruding out of him. I'm sure the "cum" at the end of this scene is fake, but even if it is milk or some other white substance, there sure is a lot of it that gets on Katie's face - so that part of this weird scene is kind of enjoyable.

The climax has Katie being captured by Bridgette, only to find herself and Katie in a threesome with Joel Lawrence, who is playing the wizard Gangcock. Katie actually dons a strap-on for this segment, which leads to a lot of fun for Bridgette's holes, as you can imagine. The scene ends with Joel cumming on both women's faces.

Both the video and audio are above average for this title, and the bonus features aren't too bad either, offering a 13-minute behind the scenes featurette; interviews with Katie, Brandi Lyons and Velvet Rose; multiple angles and a photo gallery.

Much like the mainstream sequel, I didn't think much of Whore of the Rings 2. Still, it has a corniness about it that might make it a good pick for your next bachelor or frat party. And it was just goofy enough that I'll probably check out both the first and next volume just to see what else director Jim Powers has done with these characters.