Fresh Off The Bus

I've always had something of a soft spot in my heart for the titles that claim to be "introducing" girls to the world of adult entertainment. Yeah, the claim is usually total b.s., but the whole "squeaky-clean girl--until right now" thing is usually quite effective. And, by and large, "Fresh Off the Bus" does a pretty good job of delivering this material. Before I sit here and give you an overall impression of the title, I will go ahead and get into the various sex scenes.

We first get Hunny Muffin (man, her parents have 9 months and the best that they can come up with is "Hunny"?!) who, according to her, is a dancer originally from Florida. Now, her being a dancer is not a huge shock. I can't imagine too many jobs a girl named "Hunny" could do (President Hunny Muffin just sounds odd, doesn't it?) Anyway, she gives lap dances, and, as luck would have it, pretty good blowjobs, amongst other sexual activities (as Tony Eveready learned). Hunny is actually something of an enigma as she is not a stunning beauty, but something about her definitely keeps your attention.

Next, we get the magnificent Envy. Now, Envy claims to be from the French part of Canada (known as Quebec to most of us) and she is an enthusiastic little exhibitionist. The sex for all of the scenes is basically the same (i.e. start with oral sex, to penetration, to pop shot--there is precious little variation here), so it's up to the performers to make or break the scene--and Envy and Rod Fontana definitely make this scene.

Next, we get Jade and Hunk Dermon, except this scene is a blowjob-only one, and Hunk seems to not even be fully aroused until the very end of it. Don't worry, I'll be mentioning this scene in a little more detail later.

We next get Sonya Redd (a redhead) and Vic Vicious basically playing the role of boyfriend and girlfriend (they do their "interview" together, so I assume we're supposed to believe that they're dating) before they engage in a very nice little sexual tete-a-tete with one another. Sonja is awesome to look at and she manages to carry Vic (who certainly doesn't look Vicious) through a rather nice scene.

Finally, Priscilla Jane gets the double treatment from Johnny Toxic and Rod Fontana. They do most of the standard 2 guys-1 girl stuff, except that they don't go for the double penetration, which rather surprised me.

Okay, I tend to like this genre, but this disc did have some serious issues. I will be lenient on sound and video for a title that is supposed to be an "audition", for lack of a better term. You can't expect perfection in such situations. However, if you're going to sell a title with that premise, you should do a much better job of maintaining the illusion.

Just as an example, Fontana refers to Priscilla Jane by her real name (or some other name besides her character's name) instead of Priscilla. This is just sloppiness on the part of Rod and the producers (why not just eliminate that little piece of dialogue? Dead audio spots are not a rare occurrence with these titles).

We also have Envy, who claims to be from Quebec--except that her bio (included on the disc)indicates that she is from Poland. Again, why even include her bio, since you didn't include any others? Her bio only served to hurt the illusion that this title was trying to create.

My biggest complaint about this title though, is the scene involving Jade and Hunk. This scene is just so messed up on so many levels. Jade, for starters, is not attractive. I have never said this about any actress in any title I have ever reviewed, but I am saying it here. On top of that, she seemed to be the most willing to do the somewhat more bizarre stuff, but they had her do the least of all of the girls involved. The sad thing is, Hunk kills the scene just as much. I seldom mention the men in these titles because...well, I don't care about the guys. They're just there, by and large. However, Hunk just makes the scene brutal. He's got an incredibly thick German accent, making his attempts at "dirty talk" ridiculous to hear. I can handle bad or cheesy dialogue better than most people, but I came within an inch of muting the entire scene. And, as I mentioned earlier, the man seemed to have a major problem getting "up" for the scene. Anyway, this scene is amongst the five worst I've ever seen in an adult movie.

So, would I recommend this? That is a tough question. I liked Hunny, I thought Envy was amazing to look at, and I thought Sonya was hot (though I think I recognize her from some other titles). However, the product is just sloppy. Just a brief overview of the product could make one quickly realize some problems and eliminate them with little problem (cut out any references to Priscilla as "Amy" and take off Envy's bio). The Jade and Hunk scene probably would have to stay, but I would never pan a disc because of one really bad scene. All I can say is that I'd stick with "Up and Cummers" or a title such as that before I'd take the "Bus" again.