Barbara Broadcast

I must admit, my heart skipped a beat when I opened my review package and found 1977 porn "classic" BARBARA BROADCAST, starring raven-haired Annette Haven and directed by Henry Paris. BB was one of the first pornos I ever saw as a kid. I remember watching with fascination the scratchy, blurry 10th generation videocassette copy I discovered on one of excursions to the back of my dad's sock drawer in what were my first fumbling steps in a lifelong quest for smut. For years, I remembered these weird images of a sex restaurant and some chick (C.J. Laing) pissing in a metal bowl. Now, the good folks at VCA have brought this adult film classic to DVD and packed it with fun extras.

Annette Haven stars as the title character a hooker/sex expert/author who meets with reporter C.J. Laing to discuss Annette's career. Although C.J. looks like a cross between a young Barbra Streisand and "Scully" from the "X-files," she has a real pouty, sexy quality about her when she sits down to interview Annette in the world's only restaurant where pussy is on the menu along with cobb salad and rack of lamb. This has got to be one of the wackiest set-ups in porn and is oddly typical of the 70's era genre in which truly offbeat humor and wacky stylized concepts are prevalent (e.g. "Alice in Wonderland"). People calmly eat their lunch while other patrons fuck on the buffet table and a guy with a beard courtesy of Sebastian Cabot buries his hairy face in a waitress' equally hair pussy (this is the 70's after all). When one shy fan asks Annette for more than an autograph, she jauntily flips back the brim of her hat and obligingly sucks his cock while trading come hither looks with C.J. Unfortunately, Annette won't let the guy cum in her mouth and when he asks when he will be old enough to do so, she replies "when you are old enough not to ask" and sends him away, blue balls raging. This type of interplay of sex, humor and dialogue is a hallmark of this film. Other hijinx in the restaurant include customers blowing waiters, arguing over who sculpted a penis out of chocolate, and waitresses having to blow the maitre'd as punishment for dropping a tray of dishes. (Two bits I could have done without are Annette ordering a waiter to jerk himself off into a little serving dish, complete with lettuce garnish and all, and a shot of an old woman sucking some guy's unit.). Lanky porn veteran Sharon Mitchell also makes a cameo as a waitress but doesn't get involved in any of the fun.

African-American actress Suzanne McBain and her Aqua-netted hairdo, plays one of Annette's ex-employees who stops by the table briefly to say hello to the girls and can't help but indulge the advances of a male customer (decked out in his finest 70's moustache, long sideburns and blue plaid suit). In fact, most of the men in the film have hair courtesy of "Starsky and Hutch" or William Katt from "The Greatest American Hero" (wow, even Dennis Miller would find that reference obscure) and wardrobes courtesy of "The Bob Newhart Show." Admittedly, however, the male talent in BARBARA BROADCAST is a refreshing change from the generic modern porn male talent by which one can't help feel woefully inadequate in comparison. Instead of the mutant penises of today, the men of BARBARA BROADCAST are not packing firehoses between their legs and, for the most part, look like regular guys. (Now if only we could fix it so that women never watch porn dated after 1978...). Suzanne gives her admirer a BJ, hikes up her dress and rides him cowgirl style right there on the table between the fruit platter and the croutons before he cums on her ass.

In a throwaway scene, Annette subsequently excuses herself to go meet some businessman(?) in his office for a rather tepid suck and fuck session in which they don't even bother taking off their clothes and finish in the missionary position with the guy squeezing his juice on her bushy privates. Meanwhile, C.J. walks to the restaurant kitchen where she proceeds to entice a hairy, shirtless cook (that has to be a health code violation) who looks like the model for the Brawny towel guy, by urinating into a metal bowl. Of course, what shirtless cook (or any shirtless guy for that matter) could resist such a come on and C.J. proceeds to blow him right there on the countertop. He reciprocates by licking her pussy and taking her in the missionary and doggy positions right there next to the boiling pots and pans (with that great, cheesy 70's incidental porn music playing all the while).

C.J. later meets up with Annette at a dimly lit disco where they kiss and Annette proceeds to lick and caress C.J.'s pussy right there on the dance floor ("It's way past my head time," Annette declares). The two move the action to a nearby stairway where they take turns eating each other out. This scene is very stylishly shot and C.J.'s quivering, pouty mouth looks great. Of course a horny patron (Jamie Gillis), who turns out to be an old business acquaintance of Annette's, gets in on the act by entering C.J. from behind while she is licking Annette. He cums on her ass and she blows him until he shoots again in her mouth while Annette looks on approvingly. Afterwards, he recounts how he initiated one of Annette's girls (Constance Money - who vaguely resembles a very young Margot Kidder) with a brief S&M bondage session complete with chains and nipple clamps. Constance is restrained and takes it doggy style (although no actual penetration is shown).

While the vast world of porn certainly offers more and better material to which you could repeatedly spank your monkey, the two lead ladies in BARBARA BROADCAST look fine and give fun performances, the direction and photography are first rate (for a film of that era) and the movie, with few exceptions, has a fun, lighthearted approach with some pithy dialogue thrown in among the canned 70's porn music. The DVD, with a remastered soundtrack, also includes many fun extras including a videotaped segment by porn director Jim Holliday of the history of BARBARA BROADCAST and his thoughts on the film, a porn "hall of fame" slideshow also narrated by Holliday, and a particularly interesting running audio commentary track by Gillis (make sure to turn the sound way up to hear it) discussing porn history and revealing various tidbits about the film (e.g. the scene with Constance Money originally being filmed for THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN (which explains why this scene seems so choppy and out of character here) and, while the actual sex footage does/did exist, it was excised from the film due to legal concerns). Bottom line, this icon of 1970's adult filmmaking is a must for any true porn collection.

This is one of the first adult movies I saw but I was unaware what the title is because the copy I had didn't have titles or credits . It went straight to the restaurant scene, which I remember.

I'm a guy who is really trying to give these classic movies a chance. I always hear about how great the "Golden Age" of porn is. I first got interested in this movie because I heard that Annette Haven was the first true beauty of adult cinema. Unfortunately, this movie just sucks. The first half hour is confined to BJs, and Annette's scene with a cock didn't contain a single view of her tits. In fact, in the first hour of this movie there is not a single topless woman. I understand that this was a different age, but come on! If you're a newbie to porn and are interested in the classics as I am, I'd advise you to check out something else.

VCA has set new standards for excellence in preserving and presenting classics from their video library. BARBARA BROADCAST has been given the royal treatment from this studio, though contrary to advertisements, not all of the "previously censored" material has been included on this disc (such as a graphic Jamie Gillis/Constance Money bondage and sex scene). Since this is my first viewing of this title, I not able to verify how much footage has been restored versus how much has been left out since the original release. However, I cannot imagine that the missing stuff would seriously detract from one's enjoyment of the film. Some customers may be a little peeved over the lack of 100% completeness, but I think that the erotic content overall makes up for any excluded elements.

The lovely Annette Haven is stunning in this movie, and although all the costumes, music and settings are dated, the hot sex remains intact. Jamie Gillis and Gloria Leonard provide an enjoyable commentary, and Jim Holliday offers his two cents worth on the history of this classic. VCA has also included some niceties like pictures of the original box cover art, and some still photos from the original production.

All in all, a superb effort from VCA which shows that they do care about their landmark titles of the past. Hopefully, the presentation of this movie will be the minimum standard by which future titles will be presented.

Barbara Broadcast is a Radley Metzger classic from 1977, starring Annette Haven and C.J. Laing. For more on Metzger, see my review of "The Opening of Misty Beethoven." This is probably my least favorite of the Metzger hardcore pieces, but is still an excellent example of golden age adult film making. My favorite scene is a simple oral scene with under-celebrated seventies star Suzanne McBain. There is also the famous kitchen scene in which C.J. Laing does an anal scene with Wade Nichols. Nichols went on to star on a daytime soap opera for about 7 years, later succumbing to AIDS. There is a scene with Constance Money that was an unused leftover from Misty Beethoven. In accordance with current law, because Constance was securely chained in the scene, no sex is shown, which is a darn shame. You can at least get the flavor of the original scene, however, which is better than most VHS versions, in which the scene is deleted in its entirety. On the commentary track, Gillis tells how Constance Money sued Metzger for using the scene, because she had signed a release for Misty Beethoven but not for this movie.

The video quality is about equivalent to a tape, but the audio quality is much better. As with Misty Beethoven VCA has taken the trouble to do an audio commentary track with Jamie Gillis and Gloria Leonard. Leonard was not even in this film, but no one more closely connected with the project would do it. According to Gillis' commentary, he talked to Annette Haven on the telephone for two hours in an unsuccessful attempt to get her to agree to do the commentary track. According to Leonard, Radley Metzger never goes to adult industry functions. So VCA really did the best they could.