Smells Like...Sex

SMELLS LIKE SEX sports an absolutely jaw-dropping cover design of VCA's top contract blondes, including gorgeous Juli Ashton, sexy Shayla LaVeaux, curvy Jenna Jameson, and cute Kylie Ireland all dressed up in a dark, sheer bodysuit and looking like (fallen) angels on ready to seduce and please. However, brunette fans needn't worry because they are also joined by sexpots like Nici Sterling, Felicia and Lana Sands for an all-star novelty romp courtesy of VCA DVD Classics.

When first released a few years ago on videotape, SMELLS LIKE SEX attempted to take the next step forward (or maybe backward, as it turns out) in sexual interactivity with their patented "Smell-O'-Vision." The gimmick is that a certain scene will signal to the viewer through a number displayed at the bottom right of the screen --- an eerie foreshadowing of multiple angled DVDs to come --- a certain scent to sniff in order to get an added odorous (or is that onerous?) enhancement to the sexual proceedings. Since the appeal of actually using a scented card handled by others (who may have accidentally transferred another odor to the device) never really caught on (since it didn't work for John Waters flicks, I can't imagine porn audiences being any more open-minded?), it looks as though VCA has decided to forego this little gimmick for the DVD incarnation (although maddeningly enough, the numbers still appear on the DVD picture!).

I recall enjoying this movie a lot when it first appeared on videocassette, but as I re-view it on DVD, I find myself less impressed. Despite the dream team cast of blonde babes, and some inspired performances on their part, this movie just doesn't rise to the level of fun and fancy expected of most VCA productions. The biggest problem is that director Steve Perry (who seems to be better suited as the lead singer of Journey...just kidding!) sets up the sex scenes a bit amateurishly, with klutzy camera work focusing on an overabundance of super close-ups, and a distinct lack of pacing during all the fuck and suck scenes. The premise of the film is obviously flimsy as hell: Jon Dough has the ability to detect scents better than Wolverine's (an member of the X-Men for those who don't read the funny books or watch pop movies), and goes in search of a woman who will not offend his "sense-abilities". It is up to Dr. Juli Ashton to explain that his penis and nose are connected, an obvious homage to DEEP THROAT in which Linda Lovelace found out her clit was in her throat. Of course, in the end Jon finally finds true love with Jenna Jameson (frankly, I would have chosen Shayla or Juli or Felicia, my nose be damned), but along the way, he gets to watch a lot of people having a lot of sex (which is kind of what I get paid to do, but on a more two-dimensional level).

Of the seven sex scenes in this video, only a few are worth a more detailed mention. The most obvious is a cum-swapping scene performed, amazingly enough, between Kylie Ireland and Jenna Jameson following a four-way with Felicia and a Vince Voyeur. Of course, the Felicia doesn't come anywhere close to having a cock near her orifices during this scene, so it's up to Kylie and Jenna to make up for Felicia's heterosexual coyness. As good as the action is, the magic moment of this scene literally cums when Jenna takes a chipmunk mouthful of Vince's ball spit in her mouth and then drools it on the tongue of Kylie Ireland, for one of the first cum-swapping scenes I have ever witnessed in a VCA title. However, because the camera cuts away between Jenna's oral cumshot and the spilling of milk into Kylie's mouth, it's hard to tell if it's the real deal. Also, Kylie apparently spits out most of the goo judging from the switch in camera angles which is disappointing. Nevertheless, you never get to see women of this caliber in most Anabolic flicks so this oral exchange is satisfying enough.

Bubbly and beautiful Shayla LaVeaux does her standard best in a straight opening scene with Marc Davis. For those who have not seen a blowjob princess in action, this movie is the perfect place to start. However, I was a little distracted to see the grease smeared all over Shayla's beautiful face, but the "makeup" is appropriate since the action takes place in a service garage..Juli Ashton is always a pleasure to watch no matter what she is doing (she is the only one who can completely turn a guy on with a purr in her voice and a seductive crossing of her legs in Playboy's NIGHT CALLS), and she performs twice in this video, including a double penetration that foregoes the use of the one-fingered glove.

However, this video misses opportunities. I looked high and low, and in vain, for an expected all-girl scene among the actresses on the boxcover. Juli Ashton, in particular, usually excels in elevating any lesbian tryst to that of pure action and eye-candy, but she only does the guys in this flick.

Again, VCA has produced a great looking and great-sounding DVD. Whatever problems seem to exist in image or audio quality is probably derived from the original video source. This disc does not include the original Smell-O-Vision scratch and sniff cards, so the corresponding signal numbers which appear at the bottom right of the screen really serve no purpose for the viewer.

For such an all-star vehicle, I wish that VCA had poured a bit more money into the budget, or else hired a different (and probably more experienced) director for this production. Like all VCA Classics, the extras on this disc are pretty much limited to a photo gallery...which reminds me, isn't it about time that VCA update their "Catalog" section, which features the same titles that have long since been in release since last year? With recent older classics like THE TEASE, CENTERFOLD, THE LAST RESORT and other greats finally making its way to DVD, the list should definitely be updated.

SMELLS LIKE...SEX is by no means a stinker, but neither is it a breath of fresh air nor does it come off smelling like a rose. It's just another video that is absolutely "pretty good!"