Sticky Fingered

STICKY FINGERED, the latest couple-of-days-with-a-camcorder wonder from hirsute horndog Barry Wood, is 98 minutes of hand-held effluvia which starts off with a pretty good premise. Wood's basic idea was to get some hot babes -- including Shawna Edwards, Nici Sterling and Angelica Sin -- to describe (and, whenever possible, to re-enact) their first orgasms.

Since most of their initial experiences no doubt took place during a "solo flight," it's a sure bet that plenty of sticky fingers would be involved. However, the very first girl he interviews -- Roxanne Hall -- throws him a curveball. She had her first orgasm, she tells Wood proudly, on a bidet. (Side note to the mystified: a "bidet" is a luxury bathroom accessory which jets water upward to wipe your ass-- saves toilet paper that way.) Not only would a bidet tend to keep your fingers rather clean, but re-enacting the scene presents a problem, since at the time of this revelation they're out in the middle of nowhere, riding a Jeep across a motor-cross track!

Hall quickly improvises, though, and soon she and Taylor Moore are doing a girl-on-girl number while leaning up against the Jeep. Hall's thick British accent is an extra turn-on during her dirty-talkin' in this scene. There's also a cutaway to another sequence, apparently improvised as an afterthought, in which Moore (not Hall) pleasures herself with the stream from a gushing water hose. Soon we're back to the motor-cross track, where Hall and Moore meet up with a horny male motorcyclist and enjoy a nice variety of three-way action. That is, until the proliferation of insects on the track becomes too much for them. "Fucking A!" shouts the biker, pausing in mid-hump to swat at a particularly large bug. The trio retreats inside a motorbike repair garage to finish the scene, safely away from the creepy-crawlies.

Next up, Wood interviews Shawna Edwards, a very cute brunette with large (enhanced-looking) breasts and the name "Joseph" tattooed over her pubic triangle. Edwards' first orgasm is much simpler to re-create than Hall's was, and her fingers very quickly get sticky. But she's hastily joined by a guy who has her name, "Shawna," tattooed over his crotch. (Now aren't these two just America's Fun Couple, or what?) "Joseph" lets his belly bulge out grotesquely while Edwards blows him. The girl has a truly great oral technique, but we certainly could have lived without the over-the-shoulder shots in this scene, during which the scar on her left butt cheek is all too visible. The sequence comes to an unexpected conclusion when "Joseph" pulls out during a rear-entry fuck and cums onto the soles of Edwards' feet, after which she licks the silver goo out from between her toes.

The sports theme is back again later when Nici Sterling gets sticky-fingered while sitting atop a dry-docked racing boat, after which she pleasures two guys at once while braced against the boat's engine block. Then Angelica Sin gets her turn, performing a long, slow striptease before her interview. Her sequence concludes when she and a blond guy are out at a cowboy ranch, doing some vigorous fucking inside the bare skeleton of an old covered wagon...which would have made for a nice little Wild West fantasy, except for a few unfortunate reverse camera angles that reveal the crew's modern vehicles parked nearby -- not to mention several members of the film crew walking past in the background, toting equipment!

This DVD's best scene is its finale, which features Jessica Darling telling all (and showing all) while sprawled in a backyard hammock. Chewing on some gum during interview, she affords us tantalizing glimpses of her silver tongue-piercing stud, and later she offers some great expressions and terrific whimpers of pleasure/pain as she gets shafted while leaning up against the exterior framework of a hot tub. (Apparently the tub sprang a leak at some point during filming, as crew member Bud Lee gets an end-rollup credit for "being a human sandbag during the last scene.")

The sonic level and quality/clarity of the sound changes drastically and without any forewarning all throughout this DVD, which may cause apartment-dwelling viewers much grief as they adjust their volume settings up loud enough to hear the dialogue and then, a few seconds later, low enough so the upstairs neighbors don't think Jessica Darling is climaxing on their coffee table. Overall there's way too much cross-cutting in STICKY FINGERED, a movie which invariably switches angles right about the time a viewer has gotten comfortable with whatever angle was already on the screen. It's as if director Wood was inordinately proud of shooting everything with two cameras (you can usually see the second camera somewhere in the edge of almost every frame) and insisted on using at least a little of every shot he got.

Some of the editing choices are sheer nonsense, such as cutting to Shawna Edwards' striptease footage long after she's already gone full-nude for us. Often Wood's choice of lens is equally idiotic, as in his decision to use a fish-eyed wide angle during Angelica Sin's interview, which makes her lovely face appear hideously distorted. It's almost as if this film was directed by Ed Wood instead of Barry Wood.

The "extras" included on the DVD are likewise sort of skimpy: Basically just a brief, unremarkable photo gallery and some long, explicit preview trailers for four other films which appear to have been made with even less regard for conventional filmmaking devices such as tripods, bubble-levels, proper lighting, etc.