All Reviews by Aureolaborealis
Un-Natural Sex #10Studio: DiabolicThere were a couple of good scenes, if you can ignore Chico's moronic banter/commentary. I've always found him annoying and a distraction to the good work that the actors may be doing for him, but upon hearing that he was dead and looking up the story, we decided that we're not going to rent or watch anything else by him. Charged with kidnapping/torture of his wife. Prime suspect in her homicide. That cranked his creepiness dial to 11. Pump My Ass Full Of Cum #1 (Disc 1)Studio: Jules Jordan VideoAs AdvertizedEvery scene ended with an internal, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I like this genre, but I hate ATMs, and there are plenty in this movie. All in all a good movie for its type. All Internal #2Studio: Jules Jordan VideoA Bit MonotonousThe guys in these movies are a little too creepy for our tastes, and the scenes follow almost the same script. The internal shots are hot, but would be much hotter without the moronic comments.
Milk enemas? Not offensive. Maybe inexplicable is the best description. I've Been Sodomized #4Studio: Red Light DistrictPlaying DoctorThe premise: Women go to a doctor with unspecified problems, discover they need throat probe and anal temperature with a special "instrument." It's silly, mostly in an OK way. Blond American guy is terribly bad actor ... should spend more time with mouth closed. Her First Anal Sex #4Studio: Pink VisualWaste Of Our TimeUninspiring series of experienced porn actresses (we recognized them!) pretending to be newbies to anal and porn. Not their fault. This could work if there were functioning brains cells behind the camera. There were not. Dumb. Boring. Waste of time. Bi Pole Her #1Studio: Third World MediaHmm.Bad lighting and camera work. Last actress had a bad boob job. Other than that, everyone was cute. It was just hard to see what was going on at times. And none of the women got sodomized. A Taste For SubmissionStudio: SunshineDated, CheesyThis must be a DVD re-release, because everything looked right out of the early 1990s. Not veterans of the scene by any means, but it seemed to have a certain mainstream insincerity about it. Moose Alley Amateurs #6Studio: Platinum MediaWe like amateurs, but this was a very self-conscious effort.
The first couple were cute, but they tried positions that they had clearly never tried off-camera. There was struggling. There was difficulty maintaining an erection. There was resentment and anger.
Second couple were fine, except the dude couldn't bring himself to take of his wrap-around reflector sunglasses. And there were cameo appearances from the dog and the cat.
Third couple were OK, too.
Bottom line: We didn't get off. We got to the end, looked at each other, nodded, and realized there was nothing that had stirred the loins.