All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Gang Bang Angels #12Studio: Elegant Angel“Daddy Got Duped at the Drive-Thru”…Yes, sometimes “porn is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’ll get when you get inside.” The girl on the front box cover is rather cute, has dark black straight hair, a fairly thin body, pale skin, a flat stomach and looks tat free. The REGAN STARR inside this movie has red wavy hair, freckles, a medium thick frame, a tramp stamp and looks pretty much nothing like the girl on the box cover. The only brunette in the single scene of this movie is a fluffer with two sleeves full of tats – yuck! It was so masculine looking I couldn’t even watch. As a result, this movie “blew doors”. As I fast-forwarded, I observed some nasty sex with mostly average or slightly above average poles. There was corning, DP and big loads finally poured on her stomach and neck at the finish. But who cares? False advertising on the box cover did me dirty once again. NEXT! SeductionStudio: Elegant Angel“Some Appealing Tail but Nothing Special”…The actresses are listed as: JENNIFER DARK, JESSICA MAY, VANESSA, VALENTINA VALLI AND SILVIA LANCOME. None were identified really so I have little idea as to identify in my review. Regardless, the cover girl on the box cover was probably the prettiest and most appealing. She had a thinner frame than the rest and no ink. The sex in here scene was pretty decent but nothing great via camera angles or uniqueness. There were some average poles and some above average poles. I’ve seen Vanessa in other movies but her face isn’t the best. The group sex scene was the second best scene but even that bored me. This was just average Euro-porn which I’ve grown tired of unless it is done by Odyssey which was very popular in the late ‘90s and beyond. Cumback Pussy #44Studio: Elegant Angel“Some Nice Talent but Poorly Utilized”…JASSIE is a really cute girl with freckles, a thin body and a beautiful ass. That ass receives no doggie-style pounding which I deem a sacrilege. Her MFF scene includes another pretty cute co-star with a nice ass. This girl receives most of the tool which I guess isn’t a surprise since Jassie does a lot of lezbo movies. This scene is fairly nice regardless. The only other decent scene features BRANDI LYONS. She is fairly attractive with an above average body. Her MMF scene includes a nice doggie-style pounding and some double penetration. Unfortunately, I got a little turned off by the gaping corn-hole. The rest of the talent is subpar. There are much better in this series. Next! Double GulpStudio: American Hardcore“More Humidity than Indonesia”…If you like down and dirty porn including sloppy, filthy wet horn-jobs then rent away. The throat gagging, deep-throating, cock spitting and “waterfall saliva drooling” seemed like it went on for days. JAMIE – This girl is good looking with a spectacular ass and is “tat free”. Her looks are definitely above average for the porn world. The MMF sex is very nasty girl style with continual blasé porn talk by the fellas (fortunately Jamie mostly closes her pie-hole except when blowing horn). The cowgirl and doggie-style sequence camera work is good at highlighting this hottie’s ASSets. One actor gets caught up in the moment and begins shagging Jamie’s high heel shoe (while it is still on her) while she rides the other actor’s tool. Hur??? Both actors pop in the mouth to close the scene. This was the only scene I rented this movie for. Check Jamie out in the “Screw My Wife Please” series (can’t recall the number) where she gets a nice pounding from Chris Charming. Hopefully this girl will do more group sex and go interracial eventually. “Good times” will be had by all. Young Asian Cuties #1Studio: Kick Ass"One and a Half out of Five…"That is how many scenes are worthwhile in this movie. LOTUS – The scene opens with a fake dry cleaner business scenario. Well, at least they tried. Her nice little body looks good while she blows horn. Some good camera angles are utilized. GIANNA – She has a thick frame, a mediocre face (at best), nipple piercings, tats galore, a belly ring and a tongue ring. Ironically, I don’t think her ears are pierced. In a nutshell, this girl has more metal in her body than an auto salvage yard. I’m out. MYA – Thick, too much ink with an okay face. Next! TAYA – Her face is decent and she has a well-shaped, thin body. The scene opens in a supposed Asian massage parlor. At the end of the massage the actor asks for a “happy ending”. Taya rings a bell and a large man enters. This was actually pretty humorous as the actor explains that he wants the girl back. Eventually Taya reappears and it is – game on. She looks good blowing the very large mushroom head of the actor. The director wastes too much time on the underneath doggie cam angles. Her tiny ass looks nice riding the big tool. She is a good sport taking the deep penetration in the missionary position with Mushroom Man. The actor sounds like a dying Norwegian Elkhound when he blows his load on her face. KINA – She has an adorable face and a nicely shaped petite body. Unfortunately, this is the first time I’ve seen her take an average sized tool…and I’m not a fan. Normally she takes the donkey tools and likes it. Her ass/body looks good in the cowgirl and doggie shots. The director should’ve held the medium shots of that body getting done doggie for a minute or more. The high-angle doggie view is nice but the lighting doesn’t shine for her like it has in other movies. If you don’t care much about faces this movie might work out okay for you. Pure FilthStudio: Badass Pictures“Pure Fraud”…“Good Luck” finding the Asian honey shown on the box cover in this movie. She isn’t displayed in the scene icons on the menu and I fast forwarded through the entire movie and saw zero actresses that resembled her. I only rented this movie because she was an unfamiliar Asian actress to my eye. This reminds me of the 80s’ and 90s’ when it was fairly common for a production company to include a photo of an actress on the box cover that wasn’t to be found in the movie. Or, they would have the box cover honey act as a narrator only. Weak! Another 80s’ and 90s’ feature of this movie is the lighting and settings. I can’t exactly explain it but the feel is very “dated” even though the box cover appears to be more current porn. The only scene decent enough for me to take my finger off the fast forward button was the MMMF scene with a natural looking girl with a pretty decent ass. The sex is fairly hot even though only one actor possesses enough “timber” to show her a good time. In a nutshell, this movie is weaker than a Bigelow tea sack. Next! Asian New Cummers #3Studio: Heatwave“You May be Able to Take Care of Business”…This should get the job done for many but the girls and the product are largely forgettable at the end of the day. NORA LIN – a tad thick of a frame but well proportioned; fairly nice ass looks good bent over; flattering doggie-style shots; her noise making is surprisingly good. TYLENE TAN – skinny body; nice high-angle doggie-style shots and the actor unloads a gallon on her ass; decent scene. The rest of the ladies were not my type or were trolls. Next! Asian Lollipops #4Studio: Heatwave“One Honey and Four Nierney Birneys”…MIA FUJI doesn’t have the hottest face but she has nice petite body with a small ass that is very pleasing to the eye. Had this scene had more or longer high-angle shots and subjective views it would’ve been “golden”. The actor she was paired with wasn’t great which didn’t help. The sex is okay but nothing to write home about. I couldn’t “Hammer Hank” to this scene and the rest of the movie “blew doors”. The other girls range from mediocre to troll. AYAKO, CANDILICIOUS, EXOTIC AMY were all of “no interest” to me…or my pole. NEXT! Asian Street Hookers #44Studio: T.T.B. Productions“Girls with Serious Sailor Mouth”…However, the movie prevails even though some girls curse every other word. KINA – This is one hot petite Filipino girl with an angelic face. There is really sound camera work for the most part. She looks gorgeous blowing the large tool (nice extreme close-up) of the much older actor. The medium shot of her blowing horn while bent over on the couch was mesmerizing. She gets a serious dry shagging in the doggie position but the actor never seems to get more than two-thirds of his tool buried inside. If this scene contained a high angle doggie shot it would’ve earned a 9.5 rating from me. ANASTACIA – She is a decent looking slightly thick Filipino girl. Her foxhole is “loose as a goose” which turns me off so I move on. LANA LAINE – This Filipino girl is pretty average looking with a thin body and really nice skin. Again, the director utilizes some nice high angle oral camera work. Another bonus is that she keeps her skirt and fishnets on while she gets done doggie. But the best segment has her in the missionary position leaning towards the actor. Her body looks terrific holding this position while getting worked over. Unfortunately, an annoying phone keeps ringing in the background. I think it is time to hire a new stage manager. Most of the girls get pop shots to end the scenes. NYOMI ZEN – This girl is cute with a really nice body. Unfortunately, she acts and talks like a $2.00 road whore. What a turn off. If I wanted this kind of girl I’d head to a white trash bar at 2am. What happened to “the girl next door”? I’m so tired of “the trailer park girl next door”. Her wet blow job was kind of nast. THAI MICHELLE – Her face is pretty nice but the body is too thick. The medium shots do flatter her butt when bent over but that is the best thing I can say about this scene. When she rides the actor’s wand her butt spreads out and loses its luster. My rating is based on my enjoyment of the KINA and LANA scenes. Balls Deep #9Studio: Anabolic“These Big Butts Didn’t Drive Me Nuts”…The ladies accepted donkey meat like it was “toothpick timber”. Also, there are too many tats and tramp stamps. Furthermore there are big fakers with lots of overacting. Even black on white and MMF couldn’t raise the thermometer one iota on this wet turd. Finally, the girl on the front box cover is not nearly as appealing as shown. NEXT!