Assman #13

I must preface this review with an admission-I've never been that keen on anal sex. I know that it's almost compulsory in today's ever-evolving porn industry and that it has a huge fan base (porn actress-turned-producer/director Candida Royalle once told me that anal is to the new millennium what oral sex was to the '70s) but it's never been high on my list of kinks. I'm more a blowjob kind of guy.

However, Assman #13 came close to changing my mind. If you're into anal sex to even a degree, you'll love this flick. It's two hours and 20 minutes of nonstop action, and while there's the obligatory oral and other fun stuff, the emphasis is on anal - the hotter the better.

The first thing you notice with this film is the fact that all of the performers and director Jean-Yves Lecastel are French. I'm new to the Anabolic Assman series, so I don't know if this is standard or not, but it does lend an amusing European aesthetic to the six featured segments. Most of the performers speak some English, so the dialogue - what little there was of it - is understandable, but the accents were almost stereotypically thick. Just picture Jacques Cousteau butt-fucking is lady love and you'll get the picture.

The first segment opens with the delightfully bubble-butted Venus and Kamilla playing pool with two guys (names are unimportant here - you'll probably never see these guys again anyway). Before you know it, the clothes are off and the only cues the girls want to play with are between their lovers' legs. The guys limber up the girls' pussies with some frenetic licking, which is reciprocated with a quick blowjob, followed by the lubing of assholes and then the main feature - an extended anal scene. Both girls take it up the ass, with a couple of double-penetrations for good measure, and the scene concludes with the girls having their faces covered with French man mustard.

Luscious Lucy, a hot blonde with stunning tits, is the love object in the second vignette, which takes place in a conveniently empty pub. An older man orders a pizza and decides to have a quickie for dessert - much to Lucy's delight. After rimming her cute bunghole for a few minutes, Mr. Pizza fucks her doggy-style, then pokes her cute ass for what seems like an eternity. They do it on practically every piece of furniture in the place before Mr. Pizza makes a deposit in Lucy's hungry mouth. It's a scene that's as much fun as it is erotic.

Next up is Simona, an enthusiastic brunette who whips through the Kama Sutra with two guys. There's lots of oral, including a blowjob/doggy combo, and even a brief double penetration before the boys concentrate their efforts on Simona's waiting asshole. Both give her a stiff anal workout before happily spewing on her face.

The next two segments are nothing of note - lots of oral, anal and a concluding facial - but the sixth segment makes up for it with blonde Sisi and dark-haired Angelica taking on three guys in what appears to be a restaurant kitchen. The action is intense and covers the sexual gamut from girl-on-girl to anal-to-mouth oral. If this segment doesn't make you come, you'd better check your pulse-you're probably dead.

Director Jean-Yves Lecastel loves anal sex and it shows. His enthusiasm is contagious, and he delights in peppering the sex scenes with close-ups of gaping anuses. His cast obviously is having a great time, and the girls take it up the ass like seasoned pros. In fact, some of them get pounded with such gusto I'm surprised they could sit down afterward. What some actresses won't do for their art! Without question, this flick is a must-see for all anal afficionados.

In addition to fiery anal sex, Assman #13 offers some interesting extras, including a cumshot recap, a very good photo gallery, full-motion chapter index and website information. Side 2, which isn't mentioned on the box and thus may go unnoticed by most buyers, contains a frustratingly brief preview of Initiations #5, captured by Vince Voyeur. Based on the promo, this looks like another winner in that popular series.