F.Y.A.: Fuck You, Ass Whores #5

I guess in the porn industry it's pretty tough to be creative with titles. I mean, most of the good titles are already taken - "Miracle on 69th Street", "Free My Willy", etc. You get the idea. Hence, why I think that "Fuck You Ass Whores" is somewhat lame, but then again, what can we really expect? Well, if you expect a lot of anal sex, then strap in and hold on.

Christian Wolf with her enormous baby tiger tattoo on her ass begins the action with a little knob gobblin'. Eager to return the favor, her man rolls her over and she obligingly spreads her legs to the sky so he can really get in there with some tongue powered pressure. Back to the cock and the oft forgotten foreskin. Always a pleasure when we get to see a gentile in action. After the bishop has been polished to a shiny pink, he proceeds to slam her down and rail that snatch with authority, pushing Christian's knees up to her ears in a vain attempt to poke her kidneys. During the action, he is looking for a friction point so bad that he latches onto her shirt and tears it up. And damn, is she loud. I have heard trapped wolves that were quieter. Not always a bad thing, though. Her screaming is quite appropriate after he pulls he arms back behind her back to get the maximum penetration, directly before he slides it in her lubed ass. Pumping away, he soon loses it in that tight ass, and blows in her mouth. She then proceeds to play with the shot like a Gobstopper. Ok, seriously...that's gross.

Next is Sana Fey and her amazing gravity-defying huge titties. Oh, wait, they're just implants, hence the gravity thing. Anyway, she too starts with the porpoise licking, and then into the cootchie cunning linguistics. On what has to be the biggest fold-out couch I have ever seen, her tits barely move as she is pounded with cock as she lays on her back, but soon we do gets some movement when she is flipped over and sawed from behind. Playing gently with the asshole, the guy guides his cock in softly, like a summer breeze, as Sana slides down with caution. Ok, then they fuck caution and really ram that Hershey highway with her bounding on top like a newborn elf.

Again with the gentle, Emilia's man licks her ass with slow licks right before slams her. Well, so much for soft. With a rough razor burn, Emilia's box looks like someone rubbed her down with sandpaper, but that doesn't stop the fucking. You go, girl. From the side and then from the back, working up quite the sweat, which as we soon find out appears to be the natural lubricant, as a cock is slid right in with no additional KY. Then again, it could have just been because she's gotten a lot of dick in the ass before. Her cries of "oh yeah, oh shit" did become a bit repetitive and annoying, but then again, what can be said during sex that would be original at this point?

A short lesbian scene then ensues with Amber Michaels and Cassandra Knight ensues. What happened to anal sex? I mean, some licking and a dildo doesn't count. Whatever. It was at least a nice, quick break - kind of like an intermission.

Next is the infamous Inari Vachs who wraps her lips all over one guy's attitude while the other straps her on like a feedbag. I have to say, she is masterful in the art of the blow - she was punching the back of her throat with that dick. I was half-expecting a retch. Anyway, they then proceed with the sex, one of them pounding her from behind with some great balls-against-the-ass slapping noises. After a quick switch, they guide her through the anal insertion, coaching her along to make sure that she knows it's coming. Come on, guys, if someone was poking a cucumber against your asshole, I think you'd know what was coming too. They end with the double penetration and the double facial, just for good measure.

In the final scene, we have Nancy Vee and the rhinoceros penis. All I could think was how much that was going to tear up her colon when it was shoved in there. And from the title, we all knew it was coming. She sucks it for a while, then gets bent over the couch like a rag doll before the inevitable happens. I can't even describe the agonizing look that was on her face. But, being the trooper that she is, Nancy gave a brave performance of moans. I bet most of them were real, though. I know I'd scream.

Overall, an okay flick. If you like that whole ass thing, go for it. In terms of features, this disc had scene selection, photo gallery, new releases, web and company info.