Our Story

OUR STORY, a May 2000 release from Erotic Angel and directed by Thomas Paine, is an uninspired, middle-of-the-road porn flick that is so lazy that it abandons its own idiotic premise after the first scene.

Chris Cannon and Cherry Mirage star as a couple in some sort of relationship therapy or counseling. For some unknown reason their relationship is supposed to have begun 1960's (of course, given their current ages, one would have to assume that they are either time travelers or began their relationship as fetuses). However, a better explanation for the dubious "60's" theme is that the director probably had a lot of tie-dye shirts, black light posters and Jimi Hendrix flags lying around his garage that he wanted to use. He gets to use them in the first scene as Chris and Cherry are at a party (of sorts) with other credited actors who don't participate in any sex in the film. However, after this scene any reference to the 60's or attempt to recreate a 60's look is completely abandoned. (Christ, Thomas, put a lava lamp in the background or something! As the cast of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" said about the director of "Attack of the Eye Creatures" -- "he just didn't care!")

Cherry excuses herself from the festivities (which mainly includes a bunch of bored actors sitting on a staircase) to head to the bedroom with Julian St. Jox for one of many routine sex scenes (all of which take place in a bedroom). Cherry, while no rock-hard bodied porn stunner, is attractive with a natural, soft, curvy body and cute face. She gives Julian a BJ gushing over with saliva (this appears to be her trademark move from what I could tell) which made me a tad queasy after a while. Cherry and Julian partake of the usual porn moves (oral, finger, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary) before Julian pops his load with such poor aim that virtually all of it ends up on him. Yawn! When Julian immediately bails on Cherry after getting his rocks off, Chris rushes to aid the distraught Cherry.

The two become an item but Cherry does not want to rush into sex again so quickly. Of course, Chris, being a man, needs some release, so we are treated to two more dull bedroom scenes in quick succession with Chris banging one buxom blonde (Chennin Blanc (?)) and then another (Capri Cameron(?)). The girls have shaved pussies and, while curvy, don't look all that great under the harsh video lights. Again, the action is fairly cookie-cutter and both ladies take Chris' good vibrations in their mouths. However, the routine, repetitive nature of these scenes starring stereotypical bleach blonde porno types didn't do much to make my little general stand at attention.

Cherry confesses that she followed Chris and went to get some action of her own for revenge. This time, however, Cherry opts for some gooey lesbian action with Chandler (?) (given the large cast listing, many of whom don't even seem to appear in this film or at least in any of the sex scenes, made identifying the actual participants (apart from Cherry) about as easy as solving a Rubik's cube or understanding Crackhead Bob). Cherry and her horny friend get it on with mouths and large dildos in the only really watchable scene throughout the film. Cherry's partner squirms and squeals with delight and nearly levitates right off the bed with ecstasy.

Finally, Cherry and Chris reconcile and head back to, you guessed it, the bedroom, to prove their loving relationship to one another. Once again, we are witness to another uninspired bedroom romp featuring the usual, hackneyed porno paint-by-numbers routine (oral, (spit-covered) BJ, reverse cowgirl, missionary and a popshot on Cherry's tits). When Chris suggests they try a three-way with Cherry's friend, Cherry tells him to "think again." The end. Thrilling, huh? (Hell, at least a three-way would have been something out of the ordinary for this pedantic flick).

While the videography and lighting are generally acceptable, OUR STORY doesn't boast the best looking cast or more than the most humdrum action. The "situational" setup is laughable at best and minimal extras only include a haphazard slideshow. Although this is by no means a terrible film, it clearly isn't anything special and is merely another example of mass-produced, mediocre, uninspired porn which really doesn't bear repeat (or even initial) viewing.