How to Marry a Millionaire

Prolific porn director, Paul Thomas, helms this creative, if occasionally irritating, 2001 release from the great Vivid Films, home of porndom's finest talent and the world's most jam packed with extras DVDs. Offering a refreshing break from the mountains of usual, cretinous porn effluent on the market, HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE presents a fun, sexy and wild competition between Adajja, Dayton Rains, and the absolutely stunning Devon for the affections of a geek (Steve Taylor) who becomes Mr. Popular with the ladies after winning the lottery.

The action takes place in a seedy tavern populated by general lowlifes, barflies and white trash. The bartender, a stout, affable, mustachioed, middle-age fellow acts as the master of ceremonies/color commentator on the action. He lets us know that Steve ("Ricky") has become quite the catch since winning his fortune and there is a nightly competition among the ladies as to who will get to fuck him (and get some of his money in the bargain, I assume). MILLIONAIRE has a fun format as lots of superimposed information is thrown on the screen to help us follow the contest and the bartender appears between segments and during the action in a picture-in-picture box to chime in like John Madden calling an NFL game. (Eventually, however, this gimmick gets tiresome and wastes a bit too much time between action. In fact, there is only one sex scene in the first 25 minutes of MILLIONAIRE. A little of the commentary and "explanation of the rules," etc., goes a long way. Be prepared to use your fast-forward or chapter skip buttons).

The ladies enter the bar and head off to the dressing room to freshen up for their big night of seducing Ricky. As the ladies jockey for position in front of a mirror with a "hidden camera," tempers flare and clothing starts to fly. After some initial shoving and hair pulling, the ladies settle in to some fun three-way lezbo action. Although Devon is an absolute wet dream, I was a bit disappointed that she remained somewhat on the periphery of the action in this segment. Dayton, however, looks great as she eagerly trades off oral favors and accepts a nice, big, translucent dildo in her ass.

With the ladies sufficiently warmed up, it is off to the interview segment where they discuss their various sexual encounters. Dayton starts off recounting her first lesbian experience with Alexxxis Tyler, a decent enough looking, thin, natural breasted blonde girl. Alexxxis, with a lovely shaved pussy, gets some prolonged muff diving and digital penetration action from Dayton and gives a fun, vocal, climactic performance. Eventually Dayton returns the favor by helping Dayton enjoy some dildo DP action. Interspersed with the action, the ladies strip, dance, trip, flash and generally work hard to catch the attention of the sullen Ricky.

For Devon's contestant interview sex flashback, we are treated to her encounter with a busboy in the bar (Ian Daniels). Devon, an absolutely adorable, trim yet curvy, busty blonde with the cutest little ever so slightly bucktoothed smile, who vaguely reminds me of a young Barbara Eden, crawls under Ian's apron for a great, sloppy BJ. Ian returns the favor by slurping on Devon's perfectly smooth pussy (Devon must put a lot of work into keeping her shaved privates so clean. Not a bump, pimple or stubble in sight. Perfect!) Devon then gives a rollicking performance as she takes Ian's shlong in a number of positions (an angle change option is available in this segment). Ian finally pulls out to blow his load on Devon's taut, firm rear. Devon is a true wet dream.

A segment featuring Adajja and swarthy Herschel Savage follows with the usual positions and Adajja, another girl with a terrific body, takes Herschel's sausage up her ass in the missionary position before getting a load of cream on her waiting hole.

With the contest coming down to the wire, the ladies try their best moves to entice Ricky. Adajja's approach is the most direct as she simply yanks out his unit in the middle of the bar and gulps it with gusto. After sufficient ball-licking and cocksucking, Ricky leaves his mark of approval on Adajja's face. (Too bad they didn't try that technique on Fox's "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire." Screw the evening gown competition, let's have a suck-off!! Trust me, Darva Conger can learn a thing or two from Adajja). However, Ricky eventually gives the "honor" of his sexual company to busty, tanned, Chenin Blanc, who has been toiling away as the lowly barmaid (I guess this is a porn version of "Cinderella.") Chenin also looks great as she sucks Ricky's tubesteak and takes it doggy style before Ricky leaves some of his rich man's jizz on her ample chest.

All in all, while MILLIONAIRE's running commentary and on-screen graphics shtick gets a bit old and eats up time that could be better spent on more action, although it is an occasionally amusing, fun, creative change from the usual assembly-line porn and any boredom is quickly forgotten when the ladies get down to business. The ladies all look terrific, give fun, expressive performances, and the action is well-lit, competently photographed and actually audible (a welcome change from most porn).

Of course, Vivid packs the disc with loads of great extras including "position rooms" (where you can jump to your favorite sexual position in the film), "bonus rooms" from other flicks featuring Devon, scenes involving toys and bathroom fun and four previews. Bottom line: tell Regis Philbin to watch this MILLIONAIRE instead. You won't regret it. Trust me.