Seymore Butts' Merry Fucking Christmas

Well, it's not the most polite greeting to exclaim during the Holiday Season, but this Seymore Butts title contains enough raw sex and carnal athletics to keep you hot and bothered all year long. Though I usually dislike compilation flicks, this movie uses more recent footage of the always horny Alisha Klass shopping for Christmas cheer (namely, lingerie, lube pocket rockets, crotchless panties, and "large" anal beads among other stocking and cavity stuffers) as she and Seymore reminisce about sexual encounters past: "Golly, gee...Do you remember that when those three porno chicks came over and we fucked and fucked and fucked?" And within seconds, we're presented with an old episode of Seymore Butts Home Movies where living dolls like Missy and the underrated Taren Steele get worked over by Hakan and Alex Sanders. It's as cheap and as corny as any flashback episode you've ever seen in the most cliched TV shows, but the concept works very well here. In between all the old footage, we bear witness to Alisha trying out sex kitten outfits, riding on a Sybian (which is basically a stationary, motorized dildo), and squirting while Mr. Butts finger fucks her (while she erupts, a pop-up sign flashes "Warning! She's loosing [sic] control!" Adam Glasser really should hire a better proofreader.). As far as greatest hits DVDs go, this one is very much worth a look.