Teacher Vol. 2, The

Before I get too far into Sweetheart Video's foray into straight porn with Sweet Sinner's The Teacher Volume Two, can someone explain to me why their logo appears to be a couple with heartburn?

And why does this studio keep using the same bit of string instrument on all of their menus!?!

I let my dog out, so I missed how the premise started, but when I came back Tommy Gunn was getting a blowjob from Jessie Andrews. It isn't long before she's returning the favour, the copy of the Norton Anthology of Poetry (not the current one by any stretch, might I add) conspicuously dumped off the desk. Far too much of a high school dynamic in this allegedly college setting. I'm also thinking that, with all of the noise they're making, there's no way the other faculty can't hear this. Trust me, I've been in these office settings, and you can hear someone breathing in the next office. I can't help but think this would all come up in Tommy's tenure review. Then a body shot.

Tommy heads home to his wife Raylene. I love Raylene, really, but she's just looking past her prime in this one. There isn't any real energy or heat to the scene, and there seem to be a lot of jump cuts as well. Fairly normal bed sex, and another body shot, too.

Then it's writer/director Nica Noelle and Raylene together in a scene. This is straight out of the classic porn playbook, with Raylene accidentally walking in on Nica and the guy together, and then joining in. Why isn't there a pizza delivery, too? So, yeah, a three-way scene. Kind of a meh scene for me, as it mostly seemed to be setup for Nica to enjoy - which is cool and all, as she did write and direct this - but some of the choreography just seemed off. Full points for the rimjob Nica gave the male performer, though, and I'm rather enjoying that act becoming more mainstream in porn. No close-ups or anything, but you can tell what she's doing. She goes back to it for a minute or two later on, too, so it must be Nica's thing. My kind of lady. Hey, look! Another body shot!

Then it's covergirl Courtney Page and Tommy Gunn to take their turn. More awkward pseudo-college unfolds. Why does no one ever seem to actually want to be in college? Can't they appreciate the opportunity they're getting? This probably isn't the venue to criticize the American higher education system, though, so I'll stick with the bizarre notion that short plaid skirts are required for the student motif. Feels more like a high school gimmick than college, but whatever. This one largely plays out the same as the first scene, though this time we're in the classroom instead of Tommy's office. And I love the modular floor pad that's covering the desk. It's nice to see some courtesy shown to the next instructor who has to use that desk. Odd camera work in this scene, as it jumps around quite a bit, but never quite seems to capture the action all that well. I think they would have been better served pushing the desk out further and having 360 degrees of access. Speaking of access, we get the obligatory uncomfortable penetration close-up, one that you could probably freeze and turn upside down and the viewer would not be able to identify the photo. The bit where he's got her bent over the desk makes her look an awful lot like my former girlfriend - though she's paler and has an awesome back tattoo. Maybe I should call her.

Body shot, by the way. And possibly the worst closing music I've ever heard.

The Teacher Volume Two was by no means a bad film, but it was rather strange in spots, and it seemed to be relying a bit on star power to hold it together rather than performances or production. That's okay, too, but it's something that probably won't fly forever.