Porn Fidelity Goes Preggo!

We all came from a pregnant woman, so I know Porn Fidelity Goes Preggo should not creep me out nearly as much as it does... but between the talking to bellies, the odd curves, and the Captain Crunchberry nipples, this is just very thoroughly not my thing. I'm going to give it my best shot for you, though, dear readers.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is the premise here. The back of the box talks about how Ryan got two girls pregnant, but Kelly took the news well... look, it's gonzo porn. You don't need to dress it up with a bullshit story that makes it on par with reality television. You aren't trying to write a great plot, and the acting isn't present. So just present us with good porn, okay? Don't worry about having a terrible premise.

Okay, I guess I've put off actually watching the thing long enough...

Alright, one more thing first... why is "Goes Preggo" in quotes? Is someone else saying it? If so, why isn't that source cited? It doesn't need to be in quotes!

Right, well, there's nothing left to do but...

The bulletin board motif on the back is really strange, like they just took a template to put the graphics together here. I mean, they threw in a rattle and the beyond-stereotype of the wooden blocks spelling something out, but shouldn't there have been more of an attempt to either theme it or just leave it alone?

Okay, fine. Ultimately, it's the nipples on Haley Cummings that are creeping me out so much. The front of the box gives me the creeps, in a way that hasn't happened since I was sent a shemale flick to review (yes, I declined). There's just something there that does not scream "porn sexy" to me. She's going to be a mother, is in the process of becoming one, in fact. That's not what I'm finding sexy. I know that is a fetish out there, and my love for rimming and facials is in fetishland as well. But, I mean, damn. This is a complete boner killer for me.

This film follows much of the same pattern as recent films from Porn Fidelity, with a veneer of a plot mixed with a kind of gonzo approach, making for a film that has a bit more plot than it should to make the interaction believable. I haven't been much of a fan of their style of filmmaking, to be honest, and it takes the introduction of some female talent I really like to get my attention. In fact, outside of a disc or two with Eve Lawrence, I don't think I have much of anything from them in my library. Maybe I'll have to dial up interlibrary loan in the future if there is a title I need.

So, yeah, it's three-way action, and the pregnant bellies make for some awkward positions at times. Otherwise, it's exactly what the box says it is. Reasonably well captured for those interested, though with relatively few scenes. I have to think you have to pay a bit more to get a pregnant scene... either as a premium, or just to get them to do it in the first place.

Not a whole lot in the way of extra material, but extra material being included on the disc seems to be going away. There is a QR code on the front of this film to watch the trailer, and additional material from the film itself is available on the website. So the idea of having bonus scenes and behind the scenes material included is going away. That's too bad, really, because not everything needs to be networked, does it?

If pregnant women do it for you, this is probably a film you'll want to pick up, as there just aren't that many mainstream releases in this genre. Porn Fidelity should be credited for that, and far be it from me to criticize anyone else's fetish, but it is very, very hard for me to get past that and look at this simply as a fuck flick. It just isn't. And I can't help but think there will be some slightly scarred children some day.