Tits Ahoy 8

TITS AHOY #8 is more good, but not great, and certainly not exceptional, porn product from director Mark Quasar and 3rd Degree Films. It's the type of film which will easily get you off, but later gets overlooked the next time you want a good, worthwhile jerk. I recently reviewed Mike Quasar's FISHNETS 9, and many of the same settings (including a catwalk and a pool table) are used in TITS AHOY in a similar manner, lending a certain tired déjà vu to these particular proceedings. And while I appreciate a nice front end (artificial or not) on my pornstars, that part of the anatomy doesn't interest me as much as legs, so the girls here aren't nearly as fresh or as cute. (Evie Delatossa, who also appeared in FISHNETS 9, is the major exception.) Finally, the deliberately high contrast images, while stylish in their washed-out effect, simply cannot disguise the brutal revelations of Blu-ray high definition, where the surgical scars on Amy Anderssen's tits are plainly evident, the cellulite on Maxxie Maddron's thighs is clearly on display, and the veins on Anna Nikova's mammaries are as bright as day. Imperfections have nowhere to hide with today's technology, so proceed with caution.

The first scene presents us with Amy Anderssen, vamping it up on a catwalk and just waiting for Mick Blue to take his shot at her. Amy is very sexy, but stereotypically so. I'm not immune to the charms of a dyed-blonde bombshell with pumped-up tits especially when she looks like Briana Banks, but Amy is a wee bit too generic for someone of my modest tastes. Still, there is no denying her appeal as she thrusts her head for a hands-free blowjob, and swivels her hips while getting doggied standing up. Mick eventually leads her to the bedroom for some oil-enhanced tit-fucking, and then some straight boinking in the missionary, cowgirl, and spooning positions. Unfortunately, the finale disappoints with a common cumshot to the tits induced by Mick jerking off over her chest. She doesn't even give him a final lick or do anything to make the end results more interesting. It's not fatal to the scene, but I expect more from my sluts.

Luckily, Evie Delatosso appears next, and after a quick masturbation scene, she's off and ready to go with James Deen. Dressed in black lingerie which shows off her medium-sized, but all-natural chest, she gets down on her knees and blows him hungrily, with some ball-lapping here and there and deep throating to keep him up. He then gets on top of her for some missionary work, and then pounds her in a variety of positions in a variety of places, including in a chair and on the floor. For the finale, she sandwiches his cock between her breasts and he shoots himself on her chin without any other assistance. The scene fades to black after she sucks on him for a little while longer. Without question, this scene was my favorite, even though the action is nothing out of the ordinary.

Moxxie Maddron is an obviously wild and wicked performer whose double penetration scenes with Messrs. Blue and Deen are surely the carnal highlight of TITS AHOY #8. However, the abundance of body ink and the pierced nipples are simply too much for an uptight, conservative old man like me to handle. She has a cute face, but an overall hard appearance, which depending on your tastes may or may not detract from her impressive fellatio and fucking skills. After some tag-team DP action, both guys splooge on her tongue, which is drooled down to her tits and then rubbed in for a satisfying finish.

Smoky brunette Anna Nikova bears a passing resemblance to Sydnee Steele, and performs just about as well. Some initial oral action on the forever returning James Deen at the bottom of a staircase is then followed up with a routine schtupping on a bed. Despite the tattoo on her low back, I found Anna quite attractive, though the camera focuses a little too much on genitalia instead of her face and body. The cumshot to her tits is just okay.

Finally, we meet Tanya James, a slender, top-heavy blonde with pink highlights who has a cute overbite and an expressive manner which is over-the-top, but convincing. She is almost too much for Mark Wood (real-life husband to the legendary Francesca Le) to handle, even as he fucks her doggy and cowgirl style. Tanya is almost constantly gritting her teeth, and yelping in sexual bliss, which may or may not be faked, but the whole show is certainly amusing to watch. Mr. Wood does his best to keep up with her bucking body, taking a few breaks in between her orgasmic spasms to catch his breath. He shoots his load in her mouth, and she keeps on sucking even after he's done. I know that Miss James has been in the business for awhile, but this is the first scene of hers which made me sit up and take notice.

Extras on this Blu-ray presentation include a ten minute Behind The Scenes segment (presented in widescreen high definition) focusing mainly on Moxxie (who tells the viewer she's "warming up my asshole for the large penises going into it") and Evie (who is interviewed while on the floor and giving head to Mr. Deen). It's too bad that we don't get a chance to meet up with Miss James, if only to see what she's like off-camera. A set of high def trailers for CHEATERS, CUM TO MOMMA 2 and FINGER LOOKING GOOD 6 are also offered, along with a Photo Gallery and a menu which offers selections by position and action.

Overall, I have no true complaints about TITS AHOY #8. Heck, I wish that most videos would meet up to the minimum standards established by the director and this studio. But with Blu-rays priced at a premium, there are a lot more and better titles for the discriminating viewer to consider. However, this title is worth picking up for those who need an immediate big tit fix.