No Regrets

Although No Regrets has just been released on DVD, it isn't exactly a new movie; something you could probably derive from the cast list. It's difficult to pinpoint an exact production year (since three are listed on various parts of the disc) but exercising the law of averages points to somewhere around 1998. Anyway, the movie was directed by Wesley Emerson (of No Man's Land fame) and stars Tyce Bune as the archetypal detective with more than his case load on his mind.

The movie opens with a montage underscored by a lengthy voice-over soliloquy (performed by Bune) lamenting the cliché hazards and inconveniences of living in Los Angeles...earthquakes, fires, fake boobs, etc. This continues as Tyce tails a guy (John Strong) through some windy hills, eventually ending at a swanky brothel. Inside, Mr. Strong gets some upscale attention from Temptress and Elizabeth X. The girls start off on each other but soon get friendly with their "John." Elizabeth even finds some room for him in her ass before he douses her tits.

After a long day at work Tyce returns home to find his fiancée (Heaven Leigh) on their bed amongst a clutter of bridal magazines. Despite her beauty and her father's deep pockets, Tyce still isn't totally convinced on this whole marriage deal. After he carefully nudges her awake, she tries to reason with him to give up his humble office located in "the valley" for a more posh and centrally located space in Bel Air. Tyce is noncommittal on this issue, but welcomes his fiancée's intimate advances. Apparently Tyce skipped dinner because he goes down on Heaven like he's starving. Later we get another anal sequence as Heaven squats and stretches her sphincter around Tyce's vertical shaft for a nice cowgirl ride.

The next day Tyce is approached by the brother (Anthony Crane) of one of his old girlfriends (Alexandra Silk). Apparently she's been missing for a year and Anthony wants Tyce on the case. He starts by visiting Alexandra's old boss, played by Chloe. She recounts Alexandra's short career as a model before her disappearance. Upon mentioning her willingness to please photographers, we're treated to a short blow job flashback sequence featuring Alexandra and Chris Cannon. Chloe even mentions that she took a liking to Alexandra, as we're treated to another flashback scene. As expected Chloe takes the reigns in this girl/girl scene, but Alexandra manages to hold her own. At one point Chloe goes through one of her trademark convulsions while she has a huge pink dildo crammed up her ass and another one pounded in and out of her pussy by Alexandra. Emerson's experience with girl/girl scenes and Chloe's remarkable performance make this a high point of the movie.

In a scene that initially seems like a total nonsequitur, Herschel Savage gets it on with Gwen Summers in a bedroom setting. Gwen turns out the expected energetic and vocal performance as Herschel fills her with his hall of fame cock in a number of playful positions. She even takes a nice facial. As it turns out, this scene takes place at the brothel (from the first scene) and Herschel plays Tyce's soon to be father in law. Though none of this is explained till later and ultimately has little to do with the story.

Apparently Tyce's fiancée convinced him to pack up and move his office, but he's still not totally thrilled about it. While running an errand for some packing tape Tyce just happens to run into Alexandra...how's that for detective work? So where was she all along? Long story short - she eloped with some truck driver and is expecting her first child. After catching up over drinks at a nearby restaurant, Alexandra excuses herself leaving Tyce to imagine what things could have been like if they stayed together. In particular he imagines what it would feel like to have his cock shoved up her ass, pulling out just in time to deposit a messy load in her pubic hair.

No Regrets is one of those unfortunate productions with unrealized potential. Even if the ending was somewhat anti=-limactic, the movie has some nice elements including a relatively imaginative script as well as some fine acting from Tyce Bune, Chloe, and Heaven Leigh. In addition, the movie is one of the few features stocked exclusively with all natural girls. That aspect has nothing to do with the story but it's a nice change of scenery. However, there is one peculiar thing about the audio: no music. I'm not a huge fan of music during sex scenes, but this movie has no music at all. There were some moments (including the opening sex scene) where things could have benefited from a little bit of music as a background texture. But as is, the omission of music leaves the movie with an unpolished and incomplete feel.

As I mentioned before, this movie is an older video release that's been sitting around the Adam & Eve warehouse for a while, so I wasn't expecting a premium quality DVD...good thing. Everything from the menus to transfer are pretty average. The picture quality is adequate but still exhibits its fair share of pixelation. Likewise, the audio isn't too impressive but it gets the job done. Extras are kept to a minimum with a photo gallery and a couple of trailers sufficing.

Overall, No Regrets is an average disc with some rare crossover appeal to those who dismiss feature porn as too soft. Although condoms are used throughout, there's a surprising amount of anal in this one not to mention some good performances from Chloe, Gwen Summers, and Alexandra Silk.