Cruel DPs 3

I can't say I've ever been a big fan of DP flicks, but that's usually because you wind up with two guys being all grabby with four hands, their bodies tending to cover up the very sexy lady they're pounding. All of the threeways I've been involved in have had two women and me, and I like that combination a great deal more. I guess the big deal with a film like Cruel DP's is that you know there's going to be anal in every scene. So that's a plus? For me it is, at least. The intro to this film gets to be a bit tedious. It just goes on for way too long. I don't need to see an abbreviated version of the entire film, after all. Though the fact that we see there's going to be a guy using a miniature flashlight to look up a girl's ass at least provides a giggle, an eye roll, and something else to write about.

Susanna is up first. Incidentally, the entire cast looks way better in the film than they do on the box cover. I don't understand why they insisted on stylizing the graphic design so much when the talent is so plainly attractive. Too much reaching around and playing with a body by the camera operator. That should be a capital offense in my book. Either film it or star in it, but don't try to do both. The camera shots are shit when you insist on getting a grab in. Damn does Susanna ever have a nice ass. And what the hell is with the worst slapping I've ever seen? Dude seriously needs to stop. Let your stunt cocks do this stuff, not you. Or save this for the casting couch. Now camera douche is dragging her around by her bra strap, and insisting that she play with herself. You can't go halfway with dominating you moron. Now the camera work is getting to be far worse. This dude really cannot multitask worth anything. And he's being a spasm with his hands on her crotch. This is awful, and it shouldn't be, because she's really hot. Susanna is even starting to look a bit irritated, like she doesn't know if she should let herself be dominated or do the teasing herself. Now dude is being an immature little boy about her tits. OranjeWife is actually really pissed off right now, and not just because this guy is just going around slapping and choking. It takes a lot to piss off OranjeWife, considering how much she likes domination porn. But this just looks like abuse. I'm also going to remove this guy's hands if he doesn't stop doing everything himself. Perhaps the most incompetent, annoying, stupid, self-indulgent porn I've ever seen. Eventually he stops douching up the entire scene and there's some other action. And it's outside by a pool, so the shadows mean we can't see a damn thing. He keeps using his hands in the scene, too, even while there is actual male porn talent involved. Useless. Eventually they move indoors and this is easier to watch. Still rougher than it should be, though. This is where the term misogynist is simply not strong enough. Eventually there's supposed to be a couple of facials or mouth shots, but they're rather weak and the guys seem to have a hard time actually getting off. Maybe from being so abusive.

Lulu Martinez gets the next scene, but we start with the same asshole camera operator shit. Sorry to not mince words a bit better, but that's what it is. I'm tempted to remaster this film without the self-indulgent "tease" sequences. At least most of this one is indoors. Not as misogynist as the last scene, but it's dang close. I don't mind a rough sex film, but this is rather outrageous. Mostly because it manages to be demeaning and, frankly, stupid. I flat-out think the director is stupid. And way to go on pissing off OranjeWife. There went any fun I was going to have tonight. Maybe next time you'll keep your fucking hands behind the camera where they belong and let the people who are supposed to be in front of the camera actually perform.