Sexy Skyways

I think it's fair to assume that when we see a porn flick, we can expect to see two things: (1) hardcore fucking, and (2) cumshots, whether internal or external. You know: sex, and the evidence that the sex had gone to completion. When one of those two factors is absent, I think it's also fair to say that the porn movie fails.

Such is the case with "Sexy Skyways," a would-be story-driven fuck title (in the way that all vignettes in, say, "Sodomania" or "Grrl Power" have stories) that has sex, but oddly enough not a single drop of cum (at least on-screen). Sure, the guys moan and groan and exclaim, "I'm cummmmmming!" but when you don't see it, it's hard to prove it actually happened. Who knows what the filmmakers were thinking when they came up with the idea of showing hardcore penetration and fucking but no spoo.

"Sexy Skyways" has a series of fuck-tales that are all tied, in some way, to airplanes and the crews that fly them. No mile-high club action, just pilots or flight attendants jumping the bones of passengers or each other. The first features flight tower controller Gino Greco teaching sexy skank Brittany Blue how to guide planes into landing. The ditz is confused, so they move on to easier activities, like sucking cock and eating pussy and noshing on pert titties. Brittany's easy to look at, but she overacts like crazy (like a junior Teri Wiegel) and her "orgasmic" screams are more annoying than sexy. After missionary, reverse cowgirl, and doggy sex (all the while being interrupted by landing flights and near misses for "comic" effect), Gino seems to cum inside her pussy - or at least he acts and groans like he's cumming. We never find out, however, and go to the next scene.

Blonde flight attendant Dru Berrymore takes studly passenger Rafe home for some boot-knocking. Dru's kinda cute, but this scene never really takes off. Some perfunctory cocksucking and labia lapping lead to uninspired reverse cowgirl, doggy and missionary fucking before Rafe cums inside her - according to characters. We, however, still never see sign of the spunking.

Rod Fontana picks up boarding school nymphet Summer Breeze for a spin on his cock rocket. There's lots of boring small talk, before the equally tepid sex scene comes in. Summer's got delectable natural boobs, and Rod naturally kneads them as he gets his cock sucked. After she swishes his dick in her mouth and he munches on her pussy, she lets out a lot of phony sounding moans as he slips it in her missionary, reverse cowgirl and cowgirl style. And yup, another "internal unseen cumshot" happens here too.

The lesbo pairing of yummy Cherry Mirage and Catalina at least fully delivers as expected, if only because it give you what it should: girls munching on each other's tits and pussies. I love Cherry Mirage, and think she's a firecracker of a slutlet, with beautiful creamy skin and a soft, sensual body. The problem is I think her talent is totally here, lezzing it up with brunette Catalina (both are flight attendants unwinding after a shitty workday) instead of getting a long one up her fuckable ass or cum on her willing face, as we well know she's capable of doing. Ah well, it's acceptable as Sapphic scenes go. Nothing amazing, but hardly a failure either.

Bespectacled brunette Casey is the last harlot of the bunch, and she's interviewed by T.J. Cummings about why she wants to be a flight attendant. He tells her that top flight attendants always "entertain" the pilots while the planes are on autopilot, and he wonders if she'd be up for the task. She proves her worth by - what else - fucking him. The scene goes formulaic with the other ones before it: pussy eating, cock sucking, missionary style, doggy style, reverse cowgirl and unseen internal popshot.

The fucking in "Sexy Skyways" is already average or slightly below, but the lack of cumshots makes the whole deal even worse. The DVD isn't that much better, with website addresses (and links for DVD-ROM viewers), phone sex ads (the DVD starts with 3 when you put it in, and there's more as a "supplement" labeled as "more fun"), a bio for Dru Berrymore and a photo gallery being the sole extras. Only the single bio and the photo gallery are particularly "relevant" to the title, so that means that this disc has even less bang for your buck than it purports to have. Too bad: "Sexy Skyways" probably could've ended up being a decent timewaster of a skin flick, but now it doesn't even qualify for that.