Ozporns, The

Antonio Passolini takes a shot at spoofing MTV's most popular show in The Ozporns, a spoof that I found thoroughly enjoyable, both in its humor and in its sexual action.

Baz takes on the role of "Izzy Ozporn", and the beginning of the film finds him in the kitchen arguing with his wife (played in a non-sex role by Tina Tyler) about why there is only one muffin left. Meanwhile, upstairs, Izzy's son John (in a dead-on performance of Jack Osbourne by Cheyne Collins) finds himself waking up with a hangover and in bed with Pat Myne and Nikita Denise. Once Cheyne and Pat have confirmed that they didn't actually with each other, the three get involved with Nikita, who once again impresses by taking a double penetration from the guys and a pair of facials at the scene's conclusion.

Of course, the "Ozporns" also have a daughter, Fiona (Tawny Roberts), who is having some fun of her own with her college pals, played by Calli Cox and Tanya Danielle. They get into a lesbian threesome that includes Calli wearing a strap-on and letting Tawny ride her in the reverse cowgirl position.

In addition to the family, Izzy has his own live-in assistant, who is played by Sindee Coxx. Sindee spends most of the film trying to tease Izzy with her body, but of course, Izzy is too brain-dead to figure out what is going on - spending most of his time rambling about this or that, including talking about the time he "stuck a bat up his ass" (a cute reference to the real Ozzy, who bit the head off of one).

One day, Izzy comes into his living room to find a porno movie being filmed there. At first, he wants this "filth" to stop...but once he finds out how much money he can make from it, he quickly grabs the camera and shoots as Aria teams up with Marty Romano, and Samantha Sterlyng pairs off with Steve Hatcher. Both girls get anal in this segment, but the most impressive part is watching the huge facial that Aria gets from Marty at the conclusion of the scene.

Izzy discovers that his son is actually the one who has brought the porn stars into his house, and when he goes upstairs to discuss the matter with him, he finds John having a discussion with Chloe and Kyle Stone (playing themselves). Once Izzy leaves the room, Cheyne, Kyle and Chloe all get into a threesome with one another. Chloe winds up getting double penetrated by the guys, and Cheyne and Kyle climax by unloading on Chloe's face.

If there's one scene in the film that doesn't quite generate the same heat as the others, it's a bathroom scene between Tawny and a guy credited only as "Rick". However, even though this was my least favorite scene in the movie, it's one that Tawny Roberts fans won't want to miss, since she gets anal in both the doggy and reverse cowgirl positions and receives a facial to end the scene.

Just when the movie reaches the point that you think perhaps Baz isn't going to have sex with any of the girls, we get a closing scene where he makes out with Sindee - while his wife is on her way home to meet him (and telling the camera what a wonderful husband he is). The movie ends with a bit of a twist, with the real "Izzy" (played by an unseen Antonio Passolini) showing up to question why all this porn is being shot in his home, and the director (in a cameo by F.J. Lincoln) trying to explain what is going on.

As for the DVD itself, the video is top-notch, although the audio is only above-average - since, at times, the performers dialogue seemed kind of low and muddy. Where the DVD really excels is in the area of bonus features, as we get a commentary track with Antonio Passolini, a behind the scenes featurette, outtakes, the movie soundtrack, trailers, cast biographies, and the coolest of the features - a "Where's Izzy" game, where you must search the Ozporn home for him, and if you track him down, you'll be taken to a special "Behind the Myth" segment, which is a cute spoof of television's "Behind the Music" shows. And for those of you who don't want to play the game, the DVD also allows you to "cheat" and watch the "Behind the Myth" segment without playing the game at all.

The Ozporns is a fun little movie and enjoyable enough that I hope a sequel or two is on the way from VCA. Fans of the MTV show should love this movie, and the sex is good enough that even if you're just looking to get off, the disc will provide you with plenty of "whackable" material.

I was a little upset that Tawny Roberts didn't have the pink and black hair and the outfit she was in on the front cover during any part of the movie. In fact, she wore a orange wig instead - she looked hotter on the cover - but still wasn't all that bad.

The girl-girl scene looked like a total hoax - none of the moaning seemed real and the chicks were obviousouly faking it - the outates from that scene were far better. The "porno shoot" scene was also horrible, as I didn't find any of the women attractive. Other than that, the rest of the scenes were okay, at best.

The movie scored most of its points with me due to the fact that it seems to be one of the few pornos that can actually carry a plot and not seem completely stupid.

This is a good idea gone wrong. A humorous take on a popular show, however, most of the sex is pretty lame and the dialogue is not really as funny as the real deal. I did enjoy Sindee Coxx (she sucks a mean cock), but her partner is a big snore.