Cover To Cover

The phenomenon of the astronomical sales of romance novels (predominantly purchased by women) is not something to be overlooked, especially in porn. Brad Armstrong cleverly and visually brings romance novel escapism scenarios to life in Cover to Cover one of his many artistic endeavors over the years for Wicked Pictures.

Sexual escapism through the vehicle and comforting safety of novels from the humdrum everyday life of a mild-mannered and very friendly librarian (Jenna Jameson) sets the story for Cover to Cover. Jenna struts around the library in her very... conservative(?) "librarian garb" which consists of an exposed belly, miniskirt, a long string of pearls, which come into play later) and white "fuck me" pumps, which isn't an outfit I've ever seen on a librarian, but who would be stupid enough to cover up Jenna Jameson for even a second in frumpy gear? This is a porn for goodness sake!

The first romantic escape Jenna indulges in stems from a history book on the Civil War. We are taken to an open field outdoors with Jenna basking in the sun as her lover rides in from the horizon and announces that the war is over! Dressed in a soft peach ballgown with soft curls and ribbons adorning her head like a glorious halo, Jenna embraces her surprisingly clean wartorn lover (Brad Armstrong) and devours him from head to toe allowing him to explore and conquer every orifice on her golden battlefield of love. It was interesting to learn later in the Special Features Biography section that Brad and Jenna were a couple in reality for a long time. No wonder there was such chemistry in this scene!

This scene well complemented by the small details such as the natural outdoor lighting which made Brad and Jenna's bodies glisten, the costumes and Jenna's white knee highs and heels which she keeps on the entire time. The only downfall in this romantic scene was the weird "showdown" music in the background.

The next book Jenna picks up is an illustrated compilation on the history of Ferraris... Poor Jill Kelly and P.J. Sparxx break down in their circa 1950's car and must somehow figure out what to do in the meantime. Luckily, they brought a pink vibrator instead of the AAA card or the car repair kit that day. This provides for a hot scene with a pre boob-job Jill Kelly dressed in a white fuzzy sweater and tight black spandex which quickly comes off and are replaced with P.J's expert fingers and mouth on Jill's pussy and later her ass.

After a quick visit to the Wild Wild West where Sheriff Jenna almost gets shot (no sex in this scene) Jenna moves on to a real romance novel featuring a room on a ship and a very hot long-haired pirate and settles into immersing herself into this scene. Unfortunately, another woman comes along and informs Jenna that she was reading that book. The scene is still hot without Jenna even though she is much better looking than the other girl and we watch the young maiden with flowing red hair adorned with a single red rose succumb to the rugged swashbuckling pirate whose sexy tattoos and pure sex appeal transport her into ecstasy. He drops his anchor into her over and over again in missionary, doggie and anal style. The lighting in this scene is perfect, too, with a dim candlelit look, which would be appropriate for a pirate ship.

We are transported into present time in the next scene to a poker game that results in the prize being a threesome with Jenna, Shelby Stevens and another girl to the delight of the two male players (who never get involved for some reason). This scene is full of cards, chips money and toys...lots of toys! From a clear jelly dildo to a flesh colored double-ender, every orifice of every girl is explored, spit on and probed. In the end, the two male "poker players" create a map of Hawaii - all over Jenna's inviting face!

My favorite scene in Cover to Cover is the last one, which is filmed in black and white and involves bribery in the dangerous world of boxing. Dressed in 1940's garb, Jenna seduces the "James Bond" of porn (see the Biography), Mark Davis, and convinces the boxer to go down in the 5th round lest he piss off the mob boss. Reluctant at first, Mark soon becomes putty in Jenna's hands as she "knocks him out" on the massage table and devours whatever hesitation he may have had. At the end of the scene, Jenna with a sly look on her face leaves the defeated boxer lying limp on the table..

Special features are massive on this DVD. There are 12 trailers for various Wicked titles including Hell on Heels, Knockout, Dream Quest, and Sex Safari. The biography section is very well done and includes interesting information on most of the actresses and two of the actors in Cover to Cover. The audio and video quality was great and the menu was very easy to use throughout my viewing experience.

So, why not toss aside that that paperback lover in your pocket tonight and instead curl up with Jenna and her friends for a wild romantic adventure?!

Ladyhawke and I have been looking forward to this one. It would have been a better rental than a purchase.

Ladyhawke's comments:

Well-filmed and the premise of the demure librarian fantasizing all different erotic endeavors is wonderful, so why does it fall flat?

For the most part, the scenes begin with the possibility of all sorts of things to happen, you wait for them to unfold and as you're waiting...the scene is over. For example, the gambling scene. Three women going at each other for an eternity with two guys watching and the culmination is showing the two guys jacking off on Jenna's face. One blows a good load, the other dribbles.

That brings me to my biggest problem with the film. I like watching women, at least a little, but the women on women was really a bit to much. I wouldn't consider this much of a couple's film, unless the lady is really into other ladies. In my opinion, enough is enough with that stuff. Of eight scenes, three had men getting any action.

Well-filmed, overall great production qualities, but it will not be one of my favorites to haul out and have a hot time watching it with my partner.

Dread Pirate Roberts' comments:

No one in this film looked like they were having a really good time. Fantastic cinematography, beautiful people, but they looked like they were doing their job, not having passionate sex. The guys made visible efforts to get and stay hard.

The idea of a hot librarian finding inspiration for her fantasies could have gone so far! Attention to detail, or lack of it, kind of spoiled the execution, though. The first scene was decent, and one of only two in the movie that got our attention. A fella in Union uniform rides frantically up to Jenna in a pasture, cheers that "it's over," then the two of them make out and screw. A few passionate caresses help this scene a lot, but the oral and straight sex is pretty much just "check the block." The guy blew one big wad on Jenna's face, then dribbled a couple of times. The sex is not distracting enough to wonder about the Union guy with the "deep-South" accent, getting it on with the southern belle. Could there have been a bit of a story, there?

The Western scene looked very promising. The box has some extremely hot pictures of Jenna in leather chaps, a hat and her , wearing not much else. Must be a great scene! In it, she has a show-down with a bandito drinking a bottle of J&B. (Really!) She shoots a bottle, and he fires a bullet at her head. Scene over. No sex, no nudity! PG for violence, maybe.

Another scene had a buccaneer-looking guy putting it to a wench. (The extras have no cast list, and these people are wearing wigs and makeup to the point of not being able to recognize them.) Not a bad scene - check the blocks for oral, straight and anal. The lady has long wavy red hair and big tits, and is sort of attractive. No passion visible, though. There's a similar scene in Sirens with Mike Horner. This scene could have been that good, but didn't even come close. The buccaneer dribbles on the girl's face, and we move along.

Ladyhawke and I don't understand where this movie goes wrong. Jenna and Brad Armstrong should be an unbeatable combination. They certainly were in Conquest and Flashpoint. Jenna turned in mind-blowing performances in Satyr. Brad did flaming-hot work with Working Girl. Right after Working Girl, though, Brad made Pure Bliss, also with Temptress. It was as floppy as Cover to Cover.